How do single people cope daily with chronic pain?

Posted by calmmylife57 @calmmylife57, Jan 14 12:30am

Namaste everyone,

I’m writing to ask a question for the single people in the group. How do single people cope with chronic pain on a daily basis?

I have lumbosacral spondylosis with radiculopathy, fibromyalgia and hyper mobility, and am going to be 60 in October.

It was 5:43 am I when I started writing this message n England, UK. I woke up with pain and couldn’t get back to sleep. Instead of worrying about the pain and lying with it, I got up, made a cup of tea, thought about what was causing me anxiety, the answer my front room. So I started to sort it out by pacing myself and talking breaks to rest. It’s now 6.27am , it's finished.

I usually do meditation, yoga, or gentle stretches, or listen to music, but this time I needed to move and do something to get through this flare-up. It worked! I paced myself and got the room done, which took me an hour. But I feel so much better, even though my pain is a 7.5. However, the mess was causing it to be a 10! M pain is now a 6!

My symptoms have been worsening over the past 8 weeks and causing more neuropathic pain, chronic fatigue, brain fogginess and a great sense of hopelessness. It’s been so extreme that I forget to take my pain meds at times as I’m so focused on the pain even though I have a tracker to remind me. When the pain is bad, I forget that it’s worse. I’m also struggling emotionally because I go through this alone so many times, especially in the early hours of the morning. I’m a very resilient person, but I’ve really struggled and then pretend to the outside world that I can cope.

I have a carer who comes in three times a week, once a day. They are a great help. I also miss speaking to my psychologist. I’m currently not working and pay for her privately. I’m saving some of my Personal Independent Payment, and hopefully, by the end of February, I’ll be able to speak to her. It’s really crappy sometimes dealing with this, I know I’m sad and having a bad day but it still so annoying, and needed to get this out of my system.

I'm currently listening to
https://www.youtube.com/results
It's hypnotic, Antartic ambient drone music.

Thanks for being here for me to vent!

One Love, XX

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Chronic Pain Support Group.

mobear51 | @mobear51 | 2 days ago

I too am single and have been dealing with daily chronic pain since the age of 26. I have RA, AS, Fibromyalgia, Raynauds, etc.. I'm also in my 9th month of dealing with what was supposed to be just a R Hip Replacement that turned into a nightmare due to my new hip getting infected with staph aureus. I also lost my job because I was on medical leave too long. Calmmylife57, over the years, I've come to realize how important my friends (and family) in my life. I'm so grateful to have a best friend of nearly 30 years who has been my main support and rock through the difficult times, but I've also really worked at nurturing the friendships I have and learning to let go of the ones that don't work out. You truly do learn who your real friends are when things get tough. My friends know I struggle at times and have to cancel plans on occasion, but I make sure to be supportive of those same friends and help them if/when needed. I've always been very independent and it's very difficult for me to ask for help, but this last 9 months I was forced to do so countless times. One thing I keep in mind about friends/family and support: everyone needs to be needed/wanted. People want to help, but often don't know what they can do. Being specific was helpful--putting my needs out there. I have also made sure to express my thanks and gratitude to everyone. As for my pain (physical and emotional), I've learned there's not going to be just one thing that helps my pain, so I've worked at learning what helps my pain (music-listening and playing, arts, creating/crafting, embroidery, woodworking, walks in nature, movement, pain meds, stretching, fly fishing, loving on my kitties, etc.). I also struggle greatly with clinical depression and there are days when nothing feels like it helps and I need to cry, stay in bed with my cats, etc. and I'm learning to be okay with that; I just know I can't stay stuck there.
Best wishes to you!

1kay2 | @1kay2 | 1 day ago

I can relate to your experience. I have a gov't paid nurses aid coming in mornings to bathe me, it's because I had a few falls and there is fear I may fall in shower. I am now have sciatica pain on top of the fibromyalgia and osteo arthritis. The worst I find, my daughter lives in another province and just thinks more drugs should be added. Right now I am trying to tell my doctor that the effects of gabapentin are tooo much. My son lives here but has no time for me. My doctor made an urgent appointment with an eye specialist where my eyes will be dilated and I will need to find a driver. My daughter thinks I should continue to take the gabapentin and get over what I think are side effects. It's very hard ro find a family member to help.