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How are caregivers staying strong and healthy?
My husand of 40 years was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer October 1923. He was on chemo for 6 months and had Whipple in June 2024. He had lots of complications before surgeryaand during chemo. He had He had sepsix, brain fog and behaviors similar to dementia, off balance and fell down flight of stairs and sustained T-12 fracture in back which is painful. He was stage3. then he had a protruding inguinal hernia that was large and had open surgery. That helped his comfort but the doctor discovered during surgery his pancreatic spread to the site of the hernia surgery so now he is stage 4. He is now getting chemo every2 weeks. He has good and bad days He get nausea alot. His hemoglobin was lot so he got 2units of blood at his last chemo and is feeling a bit better. Before is diagnosis of pancreatic cancer in Octber 2023, he had a seizure in March 23 episode followed by dementia like symptons that turned into mania which all has supsided. but now the chemo is every 2 weeks and I am just exhasted from caretaking He is a wonderful husband tries to hlep me as much as he can, but he can't do stuff he used to do.I feel overwhelmed and exhausted. I swim, lift weight and have a supportive friend group.....but so feel so tired and overwhelmed. I'm a Christian and thank God for my blessing and pray, but feel so down. I Have 2 adult grown adult children who live 3 hours away for them and we visit them atleast once or twice a month. Any word of encouragement to get out of this funk? Any words of wisdom would be appreciated. thank you ,
Meg
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My dear Meg, you sound so kind and loving to your husband; that can be difficult in a stressful situation. My patience is pretty thin, so I admire your attitude. But first, have you had time to have a physical yourself? Maybe you need a blood transfusion (bit of humor, but I mean iron pills in the event you are anemic). You do seem to be doing a great job of physical exercise, but second, some mental health help like a therapist could help your distress. Many therapists take Medicare. You have got to be somewhat depressed; your husband is having a very bad time with his cancer and treatments and there's not much more you can do for him. I'm certainly not suggesting antidepressants, just talking to a professional who knows coping techniques. Counseling sure helps me dealing with my pancreatic cancer and my husband's dementia. Last, ask those kids for help; sounds like you go to them for visits which maybe is better as entertaining is even more work. But just let them know you are struggling.
Best wishes and courage, Carrie
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2 ReactionsGee Meg I’m so sorry to hear your path . It’s very difficult to take time for ourselves as the caregivers . I too have trouble normally reaching out and asking for help but this trip we are in the midst of I am learning that’s not my best choice. I’ve started accepting when someone reaches out . Exercise , healthy diet ( difficult as by the time you prepare what he needs there’s not alotta time to repair something different for yourself . I draw on a great circle of girlfriends ( fortunately all nurses) to update , vent, laugh and cry with . Perhaps search out a support group in your community , if that’s possible . I know that too requires a chunk of time you may not have . Look online for caregiver support groups -our medical doctors group has an online course starting up at the end of this month . And here , right here you can glean support from others in the same boat . Look after yourself , you matter too
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2 ReactionsMy husband of 40+years was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in Nov 23. Surgery in Dec 23. Chemo started Feb 24 and still on it. He’s improving and tolerating chemo well. He fractured his tibia 2 months back. Life is a round of tests, hospital visits, chemo. That is the new normal, but he’s still with me. Like you, I lift weights, go for walks and I look after myself bec I need to take care of him. My kids live nearby or with us (the younger ones) so that helps. I sought psychiatric help - doctor says that a low dosage will help me cope rather than wait till I crack. I believe in God and I look to Him for strength and I rant at Him on bad days. You are doing all the right things to stay strong and constant for your husband,
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2 ReactionsHi Meg,
Good for you taking such great care of your husband! My husband had cancer also. I took care of him for 14 years until he died last July. I understand how tired one can get caring for someone you love so much! But there is a lot to do everyday. I ate a lot of food with iron such as good quality steak, roast beef, beans etc. It was good for my husband too which is probably why he lived for 14 years with stage 4 lung cancer! I also took iron tablets plus other vitamins. Iron gave me the strength to continue on.
For the brain fog, I did some research and discovered that drinking a lot of water and Gatorade can help get rid of the brain fog. It worked for my husband. Your body needs a lot of water anyway and Gatorade helps balance your electrolytes which is very important as we age. I drink Gatorade whenever I feel tired and it really helps me to feel better. My husband and I also each took a tablespoon of molasses and a tablespoon of honey, (separately) everyday. It's a leftover home remedy from my mom. More iron in the molasses and honey is a natural antibiotic! It tastes good, is natural and you feel good after taking it.
That is so good that you are Christian! I am too. My husband and I prayed together everyday and it helped a lot. Now that I'm alone I pray just as much and my prayers do get answered. So keep praying and having faith. God will answer your prayers.
I'll say a prayer for you also.
PML
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4 ReactionsThank you for your kind words and advice!
Thank you so much! I appreciate your wisdom!
Thank you for your encouragement and wisdom!
Thank you for your words of encouragement!
I have almost the exact same scenario! But my boys are grown and live elsewhere. It's a tough journey, but we are hangin in there! I feel the same as you do......our new normal too
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2 ReactionsMy mom is going through the same thing with my dad.. he was diagnosed in June of last year..at 83 he chose not to do treatments..mom is exhausted but wants to take care of him..this past Saturday Hospice came in to access him..they will be coming 3 days a week for about an hour each time..he isn’t in any pain..appetite is so so…some days better than others..sleeps a lot..his spirits are still good..I am 1 of 5 children.. I’m the only one that lives 3 hrs away… the rest are close by and help when she accepts the help..I’ve asked to come stay with them… they both say no…I go home for 1 day and drive home same day..he has lost significant amount of weight about 40#… this is a tough road we are on…my dad was always a very active man… owns a car fix it shop… up until this all happened went to work everyday.. also has a 70 acre farm which last year planted the fields…
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