Has anyone ever had to deal with murder/suicide in the family?

Unfortunately I also experienced something similar, but it was my uncle who murdered my aunt when I was 15. He’s still serving a life sentence in a Florida pen, but what I remember most is feeling as though it wasn’t really happening to my family. We never discussed the years of abuse she endured, so this all came as a huge shock. In fact, nobody really discussed the incident even after it happened, when all us kids were grown with questions and anger and absolutely no information to make sense of the “why.” My heart bleeds for you, and don’t be surprised if you experience periods of disassociation; this is perfectly normal when your brain can’t fathom something that dreadful and tragic. Even now, I find myself talking about my aunt from a disconnected, analytical point of view, rather than allowing myself to feel the actual loss of her…as well the inevitable black cloud which has consumed our family for the last 30 years. You might try to seek out a good grief counselor, and definitely research more support groups which focus on trauma and PTSD. God bless you and your family- I promise you’ll come out of this stronger than you ever thought possible! Use the growth you’ve cultivated, both despite and because of such enormous pain, in order to comfort other survivors. I recently realized that neither time nor suffering is wasted in this life, and even through our trials, we are gifted with the opportunity to create something beautiful… if we choose to do so. Thank you for sharing your story with us! -Molly

@horsehair I’m so very sorry. First thought I had after reading your post is to recommend counseling.

In 1956 my uncle was murdered by his wife. She shot him while my 10 year old cousin watched. Her brother who was 8 was upstairs.
They have been emotionally damaged ever since. Counseling should have been provided, but back almost 70 years ago it wasn’t even considered.

It was a time of upheaval for all of us.