1. < Aging Well

Happiness for Old Folks

Posted by edsutton @edsutton, Oct 12, 2024

Lately I’ve been thinking about the value of happiness as we age.
Neuroscientists say that we don’t ever have “objective” thoughts separate from underlying feelings. We often don’t realize how those feelings are shaping our thoughts, and then those thoughts loop back to re-enforce those feelings.
As we age, our bodies may honestly not always feel so good, increasing the likelihood that those underlying feelings may be moving our thoughts in a negative direction.
And things happening around us may also be triggering fears, worries and negative feelings.

But the other side of this is that good feelings can encourage positive thoughts, and a deeper sense that we can handle this life.

So, I’ve been noticing and thinking about happiness.

Happiness is a feeling, a very pleasant feeling.
Do we need a reason to justify feeling happy?
How about the real fact that happiness feels good, and empowers us to do and live better? Happiness helps us enjoy taking care of ourselves.

Here’s a little story:
I was heading out for a walk with Hazel, my wonderful hound.
The air was cool and the sunlight was gentle and warm.
I felt very happy.
Then out of the house came our grumpy neighbors.
I don’t enjoy them and they don’t enjoy me, and their non-response to a friendly hello communicates that.
I felt my happiness fading.
But just in time I caught my mood change and decided to refocus on my happy feelings.
Bingo!
Not only was I happy again about the cool air and warm sun and beautiful dog, I was also happy about my happiness!

So I think this is a skill for old folks (and all folks) to learn.
Can I feel grateful and happy just because I can feel happy?
Can I learn intentional happiness?
How does my body feel happy?
-Relaxed, easy smile
-Shoulders and chest relaxed
-Breathing feels smooth and full
-The ground feels firm and friendly under my feet
-What new feelings can I feel?

So, that’s my theory about happiness.

What do you think?
What stories can you share?
I look forward to some great responses!

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Aging Well Support Group.

raebaby | @raebaby | 4 days ago
In reply to @bonnie111 "You are a great inspiration to me as I sit here recovering from surgery. I really..." + (show)
@bonnie111

You are a great inspiration to me as I sit here recovering from surgery. I really did me good to read how you still have joy in your life.

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An update: I am visiting my friend in Texas. The flight had to divert from DFW to Oklahoma to avoid a tornado. Lots of passengers were sitting with me in in the empty, closed airport and we had a feeling of camaraderie munching on airplane pretzels and cookies.. There is always an adventure ahead and I hope you are feeling happy!

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meh3 | @meh3 | 3 days ago

Knowing that happiness is vastly different from joy, I allow many external influences to trigger my happiness. I refuse to adopt the mindset that, "I'm old", mostly because for me, that phrase conjures images of decrepit and helpless, neither of which apply to me. I am 74 years mature and I like life, love myself, enjoy where I live, and I have a beautiful relationship with God. Even with my health issues and some days of not being able to move around, I try to keep my positive attitude.

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blm1007blm1007 | @blm1007blm1007 | 23 hours ago
In reply to @sueinmn "I have spent my life as a "glass (at least) half full" person no matter the..." + (show)
@sueinmn

I have spent my life as a "glass (at least) half full" person no matter the circumstances. I find that the older I get, the more I surround myself with those of like mind.

This has led me to be more accepting of differences in people, more open to change, and less prone to anger or irritation.

My winter community is filled with people, young, middle aged and older, who have faced or continue to face many challenges. Some of these people are happy in spite of it all and I am drawn to them like a moth to a flame.

Others are whiny, sad, angry or entitled, and I have been known to hide in my little house or cross the road to avoid them. They can cast a cloud over the most beautiful day.

Today I am feeling blessed - the sky was adrift with rising fog as I drove to my doctor's appointments, the sun is shining now, and I will soon go out for my first real autumn walk, where I need to wear a jacket.

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Sue- I came across your post to Jill and I went to this thread. Thank you for sharing the info to find the thread. Somehow I missed it before.
I so agree about 'like minds' and yet also be understanding and accepting of the differences in people.
I believe the more we are open to, experience in life and find our way to when we are young and through life helps us to and allows us to develop an open mind.
How fortunate are those, we, who find joy in the simple things in life and are grateful for what we have, which all helps with developing a healthy attitude. Life is what you make it.
One of the things that helped me mid way through life was my finding the peacefulness, beauty and history in a cemetery. It may seen strange but each time I would purposely visit in one, these very special places, I was reminded of how fortunate I am having made it to the age I was and am.
May we all find our way to accepting and living our best life in spite of our challenges. Not easy at times. There will always be days that require us to give ourselves a talking to, a pep talk. As the song goes that we teach children "Be happy and you know it and clap your hands." 😉
Barbara

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