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Grief in Times of Celebration: The Empty Spot
Feelings of grief can come up at unexpected times, and holidays can be especially difficult. There are things all around you that trigger memories. It can help to acknowledge that grief will likely be a guest during the holidays.
The holiday season will be different without your loved one. Here are some tips that I've gathered over time.
- Do only as much as are able or want to do.
- Begin new traditions.
- Plan ahead and incorporate memories of your loved one into the plans.
- Find ways to give to others in need.
- Do something completely different from anything you’ve done before.
Some people find it reassuring to participate in traditional holiday activities, while others find it too difficult. Let’s learn from each other.
What do you find particularly tough as the holiday season approaches? What helps you?
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My holiday season has passed. So many people either forget or do not even know that not everyone celebrates Christmas. So this is the second year that my husband is gone. Last year I did nothing. This year I lit the candles. When it was over I realized I could not do this again. Contrary to what many say, looking back at memories of happy times do not help me. It only makes me grieve more that there will never be any more memories to make.
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6 Reactions@thisismarilynb- I understand how you feel. You're right, there won't be any more memories with your husband. But you can make your own yourself and the other people in your life. Even looking back and seeing the strength that you have had to have is one memory. You don't need to think about what you might not be able to do again. But what you can do this day, this month? Looking ahead just brings into play what we won't have instead of what we do.
Have you considered a grief counselor to help you? I don't know what I would do without mine.
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3 ReactionsI did have a grief counselor. We got along very well. But there is only so much that one can do. We kind of came to the end.
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1 ReactionYes, I suppose that you're right. I dread that day. I love mine.
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1 ReactionThe understanding of friends and family would be a good start. But only someone who has lost their only child could feel the horrible feeling of grief, the hollowness of one's heart where it was torn apart, the sheer loneliness without your dear child. I pray alot to the Blessed Mother. She knows and understands. I try my very best to appear cheerful, but my heart is broken 💔.
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4 ReactionsThank you