Getting nervous!

@suesam A wait of six months is way too long. No wonder you are anxious. It's a good idea to talk with your doctor who made the referral. Also, since you know who the gynecologist is I recommend you call and ask to be a wait list for any cancellations. Then, call every so often and ask again.

Do you think that idea might work for you?

Thank you sooooooooooo much naturegirl! You helped a lot. I didn't know who my doctor referred me to, so I called the office and they gave me his name. They said they haven't heard back from him yet. So I called the gynecologist's office directly and left a message. They may or may not get back to me, because on their telephone message it said to check with your doctor for an appt. but I figure it was worth a try. So at least I know that my doctor did follow through, but just hasn't heard back. And now I know the name. Thanks, it was your response that got me calling. THANK YOU SO MUCH.

Hi @suesam. Waiting is the worst! It can create so much anxiety and cause our imaginations to go crazy with worry. We play "what if" and the fear of losing control can be very isolating. What our kind mentor, Helen, suggested was good advice and I am glad it helped to make you feel better. Doing other proactive things while waiting for your doctor to get back to you might also help, focusing on those things you CAN control. Use this time to build your strength - physical, mental, and spiritual. Review your diet and pick an area where you can improve it - add more protein, drink more water, cut back on sugar. Track your sleep habits- could you get more, what about a nap now and then, try some deep breathing exercises. Try a new exercise - go for a walk, try yoga. Take up bird watching, watch a funny movie, keep a gratitude journal. Self care is key right now and you are worth it! Do what you can for yourself and try not to dwell on what you cannot do. And always remember you are never alone. Many here will be thinking of you - like me 🙂 Take care and keep us posted!

Thank you polkagal. Great advice. I feel so frozen - like my life has come to a halt. I thought I would have had the biopsy and would be waiting for results now instead of still worrying about the biopsy and waiting for a gynecology appt. But you're right - I need to be more proactive and build strength. Instead I've been stress eating, not sleeping well, and just plain stressed. I felt good calling today and knowing that I do have a referral. I was also pleased that my doctor referred me to someone closer to my home which is great. It took 5 weeks to get the biopsy and then when he couldn't do it, it left me in a state of confusion. But I need to get on with my life and take better care of myself. Thanks. You've helped me a lot.

@suesam You are very welcome. I figure we have to advocate for ourselves and not wait to hear back from medical offices. If they don't get back to you, you could keep calling until they do, right?

@suesam @ polkagal is so right. This is you being proactive about your own health and yourself. I find that what I anticipate is often far worse than the reality. Another way to say this is that all my worry about what may or may not happen leads me to think up all sorts of dire things. Then, when I confront whatever it is I'm afraid of instead of avoidance or turning away from it I feel much better. It's not that you are avoiding anything. But all this waiting would cause anyone to worry. So whatever you would like to do for yourself is bound to be empowering for you. What interests you? Improving your diet? A new activity?

Awwwww... thanks everyone for your kind words and great suggestions. I think part of my current stress level is getting to know my doctor. I had my last doctor - a woman - for over 30 years and I adored her. She handpicked her successor and even retired 2 years earlier to have him take over - or else he would have went elsewhere. He specializes in women's issues. I find him kind, sweet, caring, and a good listener and he follows through. But I find I get stressed over some things he says. When he told me I needed a biopsy, I mentioned that my last pap smear really hurt - all of them never hurt when my last doctor did them - but a new woman doctor in the office did it and it was really painful until she used a smaller 'tool'. He replied, 'Oh this (meaning the biopsy) will hurt way more than a pap smear.' So he did prepare me giving me vagi- fem tablets to take and advising advil before I arrive. So for 5 weeks, all I could think of was the fact he said it would really hurt. My other doctor would never have said that. She would have been matter of fact and just said that I might feel some cramps and prepared me. But when I arrived, he asked me if I wanted freezing (I didn't know that was an option) and he was so gentle, I didn't even know he had done the pap smear and he did that before he put some freezing in. I found him gentle and kind and caring. BUT when he couldn't do the biopsy, he told me he would refer me and asked if I had any questions. I loved that he didn't rush me. I asked - really shouldn't have - what are the chances of this being cancer? My other doctor would have said, "Well it could be many things, we just have to wait and see." This doctor said, "Well, we assume it's cancer until proven otherwise." That scared me even more. I was trying to be positive - I have no bleeding, my CT scan and ultrasound showed no masses or any issues at all, except a lining of 6mm. But now I'm fixated on what he said. Sigh. Sorry for this being so long - it just feels so good to say this - because I don't want to criticize my new doctor - he really has been kind, gentle, sweet. I mean his office is 40 minutes away in bad traffic and highway driving and twice he set up appts. closer to where I live to help me out - now that is super kind and I would never even have thought of asking him to do that. And it's been a long wait for a biopsy - almost 7 weeks. And I'm still waiting to see a gynecologist. But I need to pull myself together. I have a dog I love and we train together - we actually compete together - and I need to get focused on the positives in my life. I've been putting off stuff - like my hair needs to be cut - and stress eating and I'm worrying too much. I feel like I fell in a big black hole. Thanks for listening and I admire that you came forward and took the time to help me. Beginning this moment, I going to live every moment with hope and joy and take care of myself. THANK YOU SOOOOOOO MUCH!!!

@suesam Thank you for sharing how you felt about your doctor, now retired, and your “new” doctor. He does sound kind, caring, and tries to take the time that his patients need. It also sounds like your relationship with him is somewhat different from your now-retired doctor and after spending 30 years with her it’s understandable that you miss her and your relationship with her.

Fear of the unknown. That’s what catches me and it sounds like your relationship with. Then, I get so fixated on that fear that it leads into thinking and not following my usual activities. It’s wonderful that you train together with your dog. You cannot just sit around when you have an active dog.

Please keep me updated on what you find out about an appointment with the gynecologist and in how you are feeling. Please give yourself grace and treat yourself with kindness as this is a scary set of circumstances that you are in right now.