Granulosa cell (GCT) ovarian cancer: Suspect recurrence, how to cope?

I have had similar issues with some of my family members not knowing what to say or saying the wrong things. The best advice I have received comes from my oncology team when I started treatment (8 months of chemo and radiation), "One day at a time. Don't think about all that is to come, you will be overwhelmed. Just take it one day at a time." I have found that to be so true, whenever I start to feel stressed or depressed, I remind myself...one day at a time.
The other advice that has helped is from a therapist, it's ok to feel the feelings just don't live there. So I allow myself some grace on the days it hits me the hardest, and then pull myself together and try to refocus on something positive.
I have asked myself so many times--why me? But there's really no answer for it. Maybe I should be asking why not me? There are so many stories of people getting cancer so much younger than I am. I'm thankful for good medical care and hopeful to moving on with life after.

You will be in my prayers. I’ll pray for complete healing and peace during this difficult time in your journey.
You sound like an amazing human being. 💗

So beautiful written and inspirational! Thank you Helen for sharing your thoughts and your journey with us. 💗

I am surprised and cheerful of the kindness you are all showing me by taking your time to read and reply to me! 🙂 thank you so much!

- Ever since my first diagnosis of cancer my entire life changed from the way I think to the way I eat and even to whom I talk to. At first I didn’t know what to expect with my new life after cancer. When I woke up from surgery I was already on menopause ( 30 yrs old ) and it was so unreal, I went home and immediately the anesthesia was wearing off I felt the hot flashes, I looked like myself but I wasn’t . My body began to change a few months later… I gained 25lbs and my hair grew and still is I have long, beautiful, dark hair. I looked thick almost chubby and that’s when the comments of the need to
“ eat healthy “ came from. It was hard to understand why I was gaining weight quickly if I wasn’t in love, going on dinner dates, eating crazy outside of home! But then I learned that after the removal of my organs my body was also trying to adjust itself and is still working harder to live without my hormones.
- Now almost 2 years later from surgery, my body is still going through changes I already lost the 25lbs I had gained and I look thinner than what I was before cancer! Except that now my health is threatening my life because I’m starting to have pain again like in the past and my health team is under suspicion that there is a
“ potential recurrence “ at bay.

- I have not met anyone worth falling in love with and it seems like I’m the only one still single in the family with no husband ! I don’t party, drink, or do drugs. I take care of my family I don’t ask for help I’m usually the help to them. When a mental crisis hits my sisters I’m the one they call for advice or spiritual insight. ( I’m the youngest! ) Even my mother when she wants to have a good time she thinks of me and asks me “ let’s go out tonight?” My brothers say I’m a wild spirit with a pure heart and the mentality of a child!! ( easily fooled) ugh!! Why can’t they see I am normal like them? I’m having a mental crisis, who can I call to be heard? I don’t have friends, my friends are my sisters & my mother! I need them but I know they need me more! The counselor never vents to the
“ client” in my case my sisters!

- this is what I think. If I do have a cancer recurrence then I’m warned already that chemotherapy is going to be part of my new treatment. That means I have to deal with the fact that I will lose my hair that I love so much! I have no idea if chemo hurts or if it will cure me! I’m losing weight without trying so I’m curious to see how much more ill lose during treatment! Oh and the pain I’m having right now without a diagnosis yet. My PET scan appointment is coming up and I’m really nervous!!!

I’m nervous because if I’m sick my family is going to be heart broken and there will be absolutely nothing I can do while I’m trying to recover for myself. I will not comfort them, I will not try to convince them that I am okay. And if they try to be strong for me then praise the Lord!!! But my mother….. SHE BREAKS MY HEART! For her I’ll be strong as long as I live!!

- I need to fill myself with understanding the most I can to know what to expect.
Hair loss ✔️
Weight loss ✔️
Pain during treatment ❓
If so how bad ???
Faith ✔️
Self care ❓
Strength ❓
Hope ✔️
When hair falls does it hurt ❓
Oral health ❓
What am I missing?? Thank you all for the advice and kind words to a stranger ! I’m glad I found this page because just seeing how fast and willing you all are to help me understand or to be encouraged to keep seeking until I’m heard it really refreshes me!! I see a little bit of me in you! I believe everything is going to be okay! I’m not alone!

@dovebeloved Oh, dear. I had so hoped that the family surrounding you would be listening to you instead of giving you advice that isn't particularly helpful. I'm going to share some things that I have learned.

We often want to know what caused the cancer we are experiencing. In fact, some people asked me this. For me, I had risk factors (according to research) of never having children and going through menopause later in life. That's all I could find out. So, it was nothing I did or didn't do (other than make the decision not to have children).

Eating healthy is a great plan. For everyone. Would you like to do this? This is especially the case for those of us who are cancer survivors, experiencing cancer for the first time and especially while undergoing treatment. Is there a nutritionist with expertise in cancer that you can consult with? Perhaps your oncologist can make a referral?

Reading and praying every day is a source of support. Do others at your religious organization know about the cancer? If yes, is there a prayer circle for you?

You are going through a very difficult time and carrying the burden of your family will only weigh you down even more. The image of carrying a backpack full of rocks comes to my mind. Imagine that you are carrying that backpack and every one of those large rocks is a family member. Please pray to have those rocks lifted from your backpack and placed back where the rocks belong. On the ground. In order for that to happen I suggest to pray for the courage to tell your family what you do and do not need from them. "I know you love me and you want me to survive this terrible cancer. I want that to. Telling me what you think I should and should not be doing isn't helping. It makes me feel worse. I know you mean well. I really do. Please listen to me when I share what helps me the most. Please say healing prayers for me. That will help me".

The best support we can offer one another is to sit quietly next to one another and listen. Just listen.

It never hurts to take better care of ourselves. I would be wary of any supplements that promise to cure cancer. Say what you will to your mother but these supplements can actually work against any treatment regime that your doctor recommends. Do not conclude that cancer has anything to do with what you are or have been doing. We do not know its cause or why it is something that we have to cope with. Instead, focus on the future and how you are going to be healthy again. All the best.

Thank you for the encouragement! I am learning to stand up for myself and not let my fate be in the hands of someone who shows up to work but leaves their heart at home.

Thank you for sharing your experience and taking the time to reply! I do have a support team it’s my mother and brothers & sisters. My brother says it’s something I eat that’s getting me sick so that I need to eat healthier. One of my sisters said maybe God wants to give me a great testimony & share hope & encouragement to others. Another sister said that it’s a wake up call and that I should take myself more serious and take care of my health. My mother buys me expensive, random supplements that “ cure “ cancer naturally! They all mean well. It’s hard to please them and agree to their opinion or their suggestions of how to live my life. And when my mother calls me to ask me if I’m drinking the stuff she gives me and I say No, she gets angry and stressed out because she wants to cure me but I don’t cooperate.
I am a believer of Jesus Christ, and I pray and read daily to get wisdom and courage to phase this difficult season . I have a heavy burden to be strong for my family so they don’t fear or that I don’t become a burden to them. When all I really want is to be in peace through this storm and trust the process one day at a time. That’s why I’m here searching for different perspectives from real cancer warriors. I love my family but right now I don’t want to be told what I should or shouldn’t be doing, I just want to understand what I’m going through and be mentally ready for the results.

I am truly sorry that you are in this situation. At the clinic that treated my family member’s reoccurrence there is an expression “where you go first matters.” A number of folks who post on this site had also not received the best advice or treatment from their local oncologist the first time around. I have come to conclude that if you can manage it, go to an expert at one of a number of excellent cancer hospitals across the country. It does make a difference. If you feel that you are not being heard, or something you are told feels strange or implausible, get a second opinion. Just my humble opinion….

@dovebeloved I can feel your angst and fear through your words.

As @colleenyoung noted I experienced a recurrence. That was in 2021, two years after I was diagnosed with endometroid adenocarcinoma, FIGO Grade 1. In 2019 I had surgery - radical hysterectomy with removal of uterus, fallopian tubes, ovaries, and cervix. After surgery the pathology report indicated Stage 1a and so my gyn-oncologist told me that no other treatment was recommended. And yet two years later during a routine cancer surveillance appointment a little polyp-like growth was found on my vaginal cuff, it was removed and sent to pathology. Recurrence. Prior to the recurrence I had no symptoms and so when I got the phone call after the pathology report came out I was stunned and shocked. I could barely walk, think, or talk. I was scheduled for a PET/MR scan, and I was beside myself with fear, sleepless nights, and anxiety. I was 69-years-old at the time so much older than you are now. I could just hear people saying (they never did), "you've had a good life" as if I was going to pass away soon. It was just awful. Once I knew what I was dealing with (the PET/MR showed no evidence of disease so no metastasis) I saw a radiation oncologist and I was set up for external and internal radiation therapy. It was when I knew how this recurrence would be treated that I started to settle down and feel less fearful.

Here is what I've learned. Sadness, fear, crying, going back to the computer over and over again trying to find answers to questions I could not even articulate were all part of the process. No one wants to feel these emotions. We want certainty in our futures and with cancer and the fear of recurrence there is no certainty.

I learned about Hope. Hope is optimism with a plan. Optimism alone is just a thought. A plan has goals and it is action-oriented. So that is why, I figured, I felt less fearful once I saw the radiation oncologist. There was a plan in place that I would follow. So I could be optimistic and schedule the radiation appointments.

I'd like to share this. Please consider being compassionate with yourself. This is a very difficult time for you. I've learned that emotional support is key to going through this. Do you have family who support you? A partner? Close friends? I found solace in reading material from my religious tradition. Do you have a religious and spiritual tradition?