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Feeling overwhelmed, depressed, hard time figuring out next steps
Guys I’m sorry to be a downer. Maybe I just want to vent idk. I’m feeling very overwhelmed and I don’t have anyone in my life who can help me. I’ve been taking care of my elderly mother multiple years while having cancer. I moved to another state and I am not comfortable with the cancer center here at all. They gave me a way too aggressive treatment that I don’t think is recommended in the protocol and now I cannot walk without a walker. I had a hard time continuing my treatment after that due to not being able to walk properly, being in pain and not trusting the cancer center. I am depressed everyday crying a lot. I don’t have normal people in my life who understand the situation. I would say I’m not feeling well and they repeatedly ask me why every time even though they know I have cancer. Today I told my long time friend that I’m really needing to move and get medical treatment elsewhere. They again repeated ask me why what’s going on just like everyone else even though I’ve said lots of times that I have cancer. They told me I have body dismorphic disorder and it’s my fault for going to doctors. I’m starting to feel weaker physically and not sure what to do. If there are any resources please let me know. I would like to move to different state for my treatments. I am not comfortable with the cancer center here. At the same time I’m pretty much disabled now so not really sure how I’m going to figure this all out. Thank you. And I know many people on this forum are probably going through rough times too. I hope you all the best.
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You don't mention what state you live in. Ohio has several excellent cancer centers ( in case your close). You can even get virtual consults from all the big centers including Mayo.
However, concerning your depression, have you considered getting into therapy? There are usually community options for counseling ( that are income adjusted). I did, as soon as I got my diagnosis for my sarcoma. It has been incredibly helpful. The other option is to get in a faith based grief seminar. Our church runs one and it deals with all types of grief ( and cancer is a source of grief) Also does your area have any cancer club or support center. I am very fortunate that there are two close by... I got my wigs for free and there are free classes to attend ( exercise, art therapy, music therapy etc)
How are you doing today?
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1 Reaction@northoftheborder
Thank you for asking. I am still dealing with varying degrees of anxiety since all this happened. However, I did start looking into some options for treatment and lodging in another state. So making more progress than before. Hope you’re doing well!
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2 Reactions@jeshaw6801
Thank you. That’s a good idea. I will try to find out what therapeutic support I can get. I do not live in Ohio. But I was wondering how people were able to go to those well known treatment centers out of state. I’m currently looking into the health insurance options. The one I have now only seems to cover out of state emergency care. I would like to find either a conventional treatment plan combined with holistic or newer options. Or have the option of trying some other types of treatments. I’m pretty sure I checked the state that I live in which doesn’t seem to have the variety that some other states do. I’ll check again.
@anon0 It's perfectly understandable that you're still experiencing anxiety right now — that will come and go in waves — but it sounds like you're taking concrete steps to move forward and have a bigger say in your cancer treatment, and that's the best possible thing you could be doing in your situation. Once again, best of luck!
I’m sorry you’re suffering from the cancer treatment you’ve had to date and are having difficulty moving to a medical team you can trust for your remaining treatment. Getting the right team around you makes a huge difference, so I’m glad you’re pushing to achieve that.
Are you on any medication for your depression/anxiety? I was put on medication by my GP when my mom passed from cancer. So when I myself was later diagnosed with stage 4 cancer and needed hectic treatment it was a blessing having that already in place. It has made it very much easier to cope with the mental challenges that cancer and treatment bring. Possibly something you can speak with your GP about.
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3 Reactions“It’s your own fault for going to doctors.”
What heartless soul said that?
If possible, you should move somewhere where you can AT LEAST trust the cancer center.
Can you do so, given the situation with your mom? If you can’t, perhaps you could establish a telehealth relationship—tho’ they might need to see you in person every so often.
I’m a retired psychiatrist and I really think a psychiatric assessment and probably medication (antidepressant) is in order. Psychotherapy/counseling would also help. At least the therapist (hopefully) would remember that you have cancer.
My best to you.
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3 Reactions@anon0 I do not want to be intrusive, but if you are willing, would you mind giving your age? Are you on Medicare with a supplemental insurance? How did they initially find your breast cancer, and how long ago was that? I am asking all of these questions for different reasons. Breast cancer runs in my family and both my grandmother and my mother had the same form of rare cancer with different outcomes due to different treatments.