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Fear of the Unknown
My boyfriend was diagnosed with Stage 2A lung cancer. His first chemo treatment was scheduled for today (as I'm typing). The fear of his treatment kept him from sleeping last night, he's been nauseated all morning, had horrible dreams last night and said that if we went to the appointment, he would probably get out of the vehicle somewhere along the route. He said there was no way that he could even go into the office.
He lost is twin sister in January to lung cancer and has had a really hard time with her passing.
Is this type of fear common when starting chemo treatments? Just trying to give him words of encouragement!
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What stage was his sister diagnosed at? Stage can make a difference in outcome. At 2a his is usually considered curable. I'm two month shy of 15 years with stage 4 nsclc, there are other outliers at advanced stages like me.
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4 ReactionsFear keeps us immobile. The what ifs!!!! Whisper to him the Why not. Chemo is not forever. I had 12 weeks which i did one week at a time. Fear- False Evidence Appearing Real. for many others it is Face Everything and RUN.
Speaking with a grief counselor! Ishe open to that?
hi @shellfinder - I think when you've lost a close family member to a disease, you have all of the feelings of loss from that, in addition to your own fears with cancer. I say that as a lung cancer patient whose father died of lung cancer. In my family's case, we have a germline (genetic) mutation that makes it easy to develop lung cancer. Is that something your boyfriend has received testing for yet? In your bf's case, it will be important for him to have emotional support to cope with all of these feelings about starting treatment. Is there a social worker, or similar resource where he will be receiving chemo, that could help?
@shellfinder, You both have a heavy load right now, and my heart breaks for both of you for having to go through this. The early days after diagnosis can be some of the hardest, but for many of us it does get easier. We somehow get used to living on a fault line, we learn to become comfortable with the uncomfortable. It takes time, it takes support, and it takes good care.
You may want to urge him to be honest with the oncology office as to why he didn't attend the appointment. That should get him some help in dealing with this heightened level of anxiety. The loss of his sister has to be devastating. In my five years of dealing with a stage IV diagnosis, I've learned that no two cases of lung cancer are the same. What he saw his sister endure, likely isn't what he'll endure, or have the same outcome. Sadly, we still see way too many people pass away from lung cancer, but we've also made huge strides in treating and curing lung cancer too. If he doesn't start treatment, he'll continue to get sicker. He's 2A now, he's fortunate that his cancer has been identified at a stage where they can take action. He likely knows that logically, are you able to help him get some help to deal with the emotions and fear, possibly a social worker or nurse from the oncology office?