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rosanna1959
@rosanna1959

Posts: 2
Joined: Jan 13, 2018

Family

Posted by @rosanna1959, Thu, Feb 22 7:31am

My mom told me she doesn’t want to hear if I am in pain. Her concern is she may have to help financially she is well able to and loves to tell me all the things she buys for herself knowing I am in pain and struggling with money. Does anyone else go through this

REPLY

@rosanna1959 Hi, Rosanna. I do not go through it now with my mom–she has been dead about 20 years. But there is another who does this, and she knows I will be gone long before here. I have to fight for every trip for care or to get medicine. It is just awful.

Rosanna1959.. It is hard enough dealing with the pain that we face daily and the tests that are not seeming to find out what you are sufferig from. Call Social Services. I know people who are on some programs with Seniors and Dsabilities are given rides for even long distances for doctor and treatments. I have to take myself or use Uber. I love Uber.

Liked by Parus

I can hardly stand to listen to the evil in this world. Rosanna, you need to find a church. The church family will help you if you find a TRUE believers church. I will pray for you Rosanna

@oregongirl

I can hardly stand to listen to the evil in this world. Rosanna, you need to find a church. The church family will help you if you find a TRUE believers church. I will pray for you Rosanna

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Dear ladies: I understand where you are coming from. i have been in your situations. Wish i could help you more than with just words but that is all i have. Remember, to love and appreciate yourselves. I have forgiven my mom since she passed away, It was the best thing i have done for myself. Perhaps this could help you. With great sincerety Peach.

Hello @rosanna1959,

I'm so sorry that you are experiencing such a complex and hurtful situation. I'm inviting some our wonderful Mentors, @rosemarya @hopeful33250 @dawn_giacabazi @kariulrich to join me in extending a warm welcome, and to thank you for reaching out to the Connect community for support. Learning and understanding through others' experiences and insights leads to growth, so please keep talking and asking questions – we're listening.

May I ask if you would share more details about the pain you are experiencing, @rosanna1959? I'd be really glad to connect you with members who may have similar symptoms or pain.

Hello @rosanna1959

You sound like you are struggling on several levels and I'm so sorry to hear that. Please share with us a little about your pain problem. How long have you experienced this pain? Do you have a diagnosis yet? What treatments have been helpful for the pain?

I can tell from your post that the most confusing part of your problem is the lack of understanding and support from your mother. I am sorry to hear that, for whatever reason, she cannot be more comforting to you during this time. Are there other friends or family members who can be there for you?

Please continue to share your concerns, I am happy that you have posted and I look forward to getting to know you better.

Teresa

Hello- My mother passed away 2 years before my first cancer showed up. But when she was alive she was not an emotional nurturing person. I think that you need to reach out to your community and American Cancer Society. They have a lot of free services that they can help you with. If you know of an older woman than yourself or an aunt that could give your the moral support that you need I'd reach out with a fishing line if need be. I'm so sorry that any of you have to face this. It's a trap of sorts, damned if you do and damned if you don't. You shouldn't have to face this while going a serious illness. Is there a chance that you can sit you mothers down and explain what you are going through and how their actions hurt you? I really hope that you both can straighten this out. My best to you.

Hello @merpreb

You have offered some great suggestions, especially about reaching out to the American Cancer Society.

I appreciate your post and I look forward to hearing from you again.

Teresa

@hopeful33250

Hello @merpreb

You have offered some great suggestions, especially about reaching out to the American Cancer Society.

I appreciate your post and I look forward to hearing from you again.

Teresa

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Please keep me up-to-date!! You are very welcome.

Hi, I am new to this group and would like too tell you about Family. My name is Trudy, am 46 years old and i have heart disease with a pace maker. A couple a months ago I was hospitalized for having a staff infection. I was in the hospital for 32 days. In and out of the ICU units and almost died. How should i put this, my family could of cared less. I dont get any phone calls to even see how am doing at home or if i could use some help. Thank god for my husband Mark for always being there. I have three brothers and three sisters and none of them even care, I had heart trouble for about 13 years now and the only one that stood with me was Mark. My older sister Rose lives in the same complex as we do. I have not talked to her in months. Rose was very mean to me and said to me that she wished I would have a short life. well, I almost did . To tell you the truth my whole family doesnt even believe i have any problems with my heart.I had try calling them and that would just get me more upset. They dont call me at xmas or any other holiday. In matter of fact Mark and I dont even get invited. I spent a couple of holidays in the hospital and didnt get a visitor or even a phone call. Mark says i have to move on without them in my life. Maybe he is right.I dont need the stress that is for sure. I have cried and cried over them and it didnt get me very far. I really dont believe that things will get better with all of them. So, am going to try to move on with out them. With warm thoughts, Trudy

Liked by Parus, Lorraine

@badboys 1965 I am so sorry you are going through health struggles and your pain with your family. I know how it feels and can feel your pain. Moving on is hard to do but I hope you find the answers and find some peace. Take care of yourself. Hugs!

Liked by Parus

@desirea

@badboys 1965 I am so sorry you are going through health struggles and your pain with your family. I know how it feels and can feel your pain. Moving on is hard to do but I hope you find the answers and find some peace. Take care of yourself. Hugs!

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@desirea Thank you for your support. Hugs right back at you!!!!

When it comes to family things can be difficult. Moving is no walk in the park either. I am sorry for the difficulties. I was always active and now physically things have gotten to be difficult. The last thing I ever want to be is a burden on any of my family. I believe my adult children are beginning to understand that I cannot do all of the things I once did. It takes time for family members to grasp there is really something wrong. Oft when others are healthy and able to do things it is difficult for them to grasp the pain of another.
I have fibromyalgia-one of those now labeled "invisible illnesses" as well as other chronic stuff. I, fortunately, can still drive even though anything over 20 miles is no longer possible and there are times driving is out of the question.
I think the suggestion of @oregongirl about calling Social Services is a start. It takes some research, etc. One needs to try and become proactive and realize that relying on family/friends for everything may be asking too much.
I can understand your frustration. Mayhap some advocating for yourself by making some phone calls would help you not to feel so helpless. There is help out there and it takes some time to find thus. Wishing you the best.

Liked by badboys1965

Thank you @parus

I guess what am really trying to say is that the phone works both ways. My family knows where i live and they got my number. I guess I dont understand why they choose to be so distant. Half of my family does not know I have heart disease and the other half doesnt want to be bothered by it. my sister Rose, well that is a story in its self. I just wish it was like years ago when my parents were alive. we were all close then. now everyone is out for themselves. Either to busy or working long hours. Just to pick up the phone and say HELLO would be nice. I have tried to at least keep the family together but it didnt do any good. Thank you for reading this. Trudy

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