Loss and Estrangement: How do you manage complex grief?

I’m sorry that you’re feeling so bad about the loss of your parents, it’s a huge thing to go through especially being so young when you found your mom passed away, very traumatic for sure. I read that you became alienated from your father at age 18 and this too is emotionally traumatic, I can understand why you’re feeling this way. It’s very important for you to find a therapist or psychiatrist to talk with about your grief so that you can eventually work through your trauma and finally heal yourself, it will take time for you to get better but there is a light at the end of your journey and then you can move forward again and make some happier memories again, good luck to you.

When something like this hits, it may be a sign of growth and development that your psyche has become strong enough to process the trauma(s) put on a shelf long ago.
It's time. Find a psychopomp (guide-maybe Jungian) to help you through. It will be substantially longer than 3 months. 🙏

Tammy (@anxiousaphrodite)
It is quite possible you never fully grieved it.
May I suggest you watch or listen to Anderson Cooper's series on "All There Is". He discusses this very subject: loss that is not fully grieved will come back. He has several people speaking on this issue. You can find it on CNN/All There is with Anderson Cooper, on You Tube, and on Spotify.
I found the series very informative and helpful. Changed the way I view grief.
Hope this helps.

@anxiousaphrodite
If I may add to my previous post, they talk about the loss of a parent when one is a child and how that may not be grieved and will come back. Yes, you "ignored" it, but it is there and it needs to be seen. Just watch his series.
I promise you, it will help. Cooper himself lost his Dad at age 10 and is only now grieving that loss at age 57.
Others he spoke to,, also provided the best look at grief I have ever seen. I wish this had been out when I lost my mother over 6 years ago. It would have been a great help. Take care.