Doing research while being anxious

@colleenyoung Hi Colleen, Yes, I am doing much better. It certainly has been a steep learning curve and an emotional roller coaster. But, working through it. The comments / tips here have helped greatly. I appreciate it. And one gentleman went above and beyond and helped me navigate the medical system and talk through things. I stay in touch with him and he is providing me good support. People are really nice. I had my medical consults yesterday - medical oncologist, radiation oncologist, prostate surgeon. That well very well and now a plan is being formed. IMRT/VMAT beam radiation, 28 fractions starting in about one month. ADT + ASRI for 24 months starting next week. I was not a candidate for surgery as cancer spread to lymph nodes. I have settled down since my first post here as now as a lot of the fear of unknown is gone. But, the side effects I will personally experience in the years to come are unknown so that will naturally spike anxiety gain. But, it is what it is. But, good news the initial shock (I was a mess) of finding out I had cancer has subsided and I think I have reached acceptance and moving forward. What is most amazing is the Love and Prayers from friends and family and others I have received. And the support I get from other prostate cancer patients. Anyway, that is the update. Thank you very much for checking back with me! That really means a lot. Thank You and Bless You, Dan

@dptrainor Hey Dan, glad you are in a better place - mentally, that is - which is the most important factor when it comes to a treatment of longer duration.
FWIW, don’t stress about the SE’s…you may have some - more or less - or none at all, so just take it as it comes.
I read horror stories about ADT, pictured myself all flabbed out, wearing a bra, staring at the tiny bump where my dick used to be…NONE of that happened!
Sure, I felt some flashes, fatigue but totally minor since I listened to all the members here who advocated exercise, exercise, exercise…it works!!
Let’s not kid ourselves - It’s hard work! - but you will find yourself physically and mentally in a MUCH better place than you ever thought possible.
A lot of us have been through this already and none of us were any better than you right now; we got thru it and YOU will too.👍👍

I must admit I also was overwhelmed by all the information I read about PC when I was first diagnosed and it didn’t help that my urology nurse gave me end-of-life information which made my wife cry.
So, where am I at fifteen months later? The photo was taken on June 13th - two weeks ago - at the end of an international endurance cycling event.
I am 68 years old and have endured radiation therapy, daily doses of Albiterone, Lupron infusion etc. and, although certain stretches of the journey have been unpleasant, I remain optimistic about the future. I will not let PC defeat me.

Every single word you wrote mirrored my same mindset when I got ‘the news’. Obsession doesn’t even describe it!
Everything you are feeling is to be expected, normal and natural!
You don’t need drugs, you don’t need a shrink - you don’t need anything but a mental attitude: You have a problem and you need professional, expert help to solve it - you cannot do this by yourself by watching a Youtube video.
Learn what you can in the next few weeks, but DON’t try to become an expert; you will never know what your doctors know, but enough to ask pertinent questions.
The choice between surgery or radiation is always a very difficult one and many, many of us agonized over it.
In a sense, and this is only my opinion based on my experience and what I’ve read on this forum, your decision is a bit easier..,
Your cancer has already escaped the gland and it is in the nodes; simple removal (as if) is no longer a curative measure.
You will have to go after that cancer in the nodes and wherever else it might be: that usually involves radiation of some kind, probably with the addition of ADT. Your doctors will ((should!)) know what is best for your particular case.
Some men do both - surgery to get the bulk of the cancer out - followed by radiation to get the rest. That’s your choice but it’s really not necessary since today’s radiation therapy is incredibly powerful and precise and can take care of it all.
One caveat: Get the VERY BEST doctors for your treatment! Your condition is not a simple one for your local urologist or radiation center. Go with a big teaching hospital or center of excellence (COE); this is not the time to worry about distance, travel time or inconvenience. This is a pivotal moment which will impact the REST of your life!
Get the BEST treatment available and then put yourself in your cancer team’s hands. You will survive this in much better shape than you think!
Best of Luck,
Phil

@madisonman0326 Good for you - one picture really IS worth a thousand words…Best,
Phil

I must admit I also was overwhelmed by all the information I read about PC when I was first diagnosed and it didn’t help that my urology nurse gave me end-of-life information which made my wife cry.
So, where am I at fifteen months later? The photo was taken on June 13th - two weeks ago - at the end of an international endurance cycling event.
I am 68 years old and have endured radiation therapy, daily doses of Albiterone, Lupron infusion etc. and, although certain stretches of the journey have been unpleasant, I remain optimistic about the future. I will not let PC defeat me.

@heavyphil Thank you so much for this positive (yet realistic) perspective. I am in a better place now mentally and have a good plan forming with oncologists. I am still naturally worried about ADT + ARSI SEs, but I also realize how my imagination of the "worst" outcomes can get the better of me. So, I shall stay positive and work on things I can control - diet and exercise and mental health. When you say "but you will find yourself physically and mentally in a MUCH better place than you ever thought possible." - that it makes me feel more hopeful and I believe your are right because my thoughts can go negative. But, I will stay positive (yet realistic) and get through this! (What ever that means) So many people, such as yourself, have been helping me keep things in perspective. It is so great. I can't believe how kind people are and I appreciate it very much. Thank you, Thank you, Dan