Do you tell someone with mild cognitive disorder how much they forget?

Hello, @cat2023 I'm Scott and I read your post with interest as it reminded me of the situation we faced with my MIL. No one would bring up the issue of her increasingly obvious deficiencies and a lot of precious and important time was lost being able to have needed and meaningful discussions before things went too far. In our case, denial cost my wife's family a lot of important time they could have had more fruitful times with their mom.

Has your boyfriend seen a doctor for testing? We found my MIL accepted information from her doctors far better (most times) than from family. As a business owner does he get an annual physical?

Has he had any conversations about succession for his company? At 79 it would seem prudent for these discussions and might lead to his being willing to transfer critical work to fellow employees.

Just a few ideas that came to my mind from your post.

Strength, Courage, & Peace

He has seen a doctor and is on two medications. He will not do to a specialist and is only seeing his family doctor. He has two employees in place to take over the business when he decides to leave, but will not relinquish any type of pertinent information to them at this point.
He was given a test at the first visit and the doctor called it mild cognitive disorder. When we went for a follow up appointment he mentioned dementia but I’m not sure he remembers that.
He also has hallucinations at night but feels he is dreaming. At first they scared him and now he says he just reaches out to grab and move away.
He gets angry when I mention what he’s forgetting although he knows he is forgetting.
I’m just not sure how much I should say to him. We don’t live together and I do think sometimes he may not eat. He can’t always remember what he’s had if I ask him. He can still drive and function on a daily basis. I don't believe he’s ever gotten lost, but doesn’t really travel outside of our area. We do live in a small community and he’s been here all of his life.

Hi @cat2023, my situation is so different from yours. My husband accepted his diagnosis of Alzheimer's Disease gracefully and was relieved to let go of tasks that were increasingly difficult for him. It's been a few years now and he generally functions pretty well. He has no short term memory and fantastical perceptions sometimes.
Your boyfriend is in a unique position as he is the person in charge of his business. If he were an employee, his dysfunction at work would be brought to management's attention and addressed through a disciplinary process and performance improvement plan or reasonable accommodation under the Americans with Disabilities Act, if he willingly shared his diagnosis.
I found this series of articles from Alzheimer's Society UK about denial of dementia and lack of insight. You can start with the first article and continue to the others by clicking on the arrow at the end of the article.
https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/get-support/help-dementia-care/understanding-denial-lack-of-insight
Also Teepa Snow is a great resource. You can Google her name and find articles or YouTube videos.
I wish you the best. Your boyfriend is fortunate to have you in his corner.

Thank you for the information. I will check out the articles. I really appreciate any information I get to help me with this.

Can you suggest retirement so he can enjoy life. Come from that angle? Like it’s time to sell the business and enjoy all the work he did. Etc

Working on that now. He’s not ready to let go just yet. He can still make decisions but really doesn’t remember things he tells people. Hopefully by the end of this year or the middle of next year we’ll have enough in place for him to be comfortable stepping down.

@cat2023, in addition to the helpful responses you've received from fellow members, I think you may appreciate the blogs written by the directors of the Mild Cognitive Impairment program called HABIT at Mayo Clinic. See:
- Living with Mild Cognitive Impairment https://connect.mayoclinic.org/blog/living-with-mild-cognitive-impairment-mci/

Your situation reminded my of this post written by @drmelaniechandler
- Is it Denial or Something Else? https://connect.mayoclinic.org/blog/living-with-mild-cognitive-impairment-mci/newsfeed-post/is-it-denial-or-something-else/

This may be a shot in the dark, but I wonder if it would help that any meetings (formal or impromptu in the hallways) are followed up with a quick email of actions items or summary points by the person he told to do something. That way it looks like the employee is being responsible and accountable, but it also leaves a record what was said. Might that work in this company/industry?

We have just started that and hoping it wii help.
Thank you snd I will check out some of the blogs.

I have Frontal Lobe Dementia and my family isn't too understanding and it makes me sad. I didn't ask to get this

Im sorry to hear that your family isn't too understanding. You're right when you say you didn't ask for this. I always thought that this disease afflicts the elderly, not a 62 yo. and now our life has taking a major detour but we just try to get thru each day the best way we can. Maybe your family isn't too understanding because they don't know much about the disease and they're scared. I believe that what we don't know scares us. I've had my family read a few things about dementia so they now what we're going thru. And until someone is going thru this journey they will never know what the person and their spouse is going thru. It's a very sad situation so i just keep praying daily cuz some days are better than other and at the end of those days I just take a deep breath, smile and thank God.
Hugs and God Bless