I struggle with anxiety & depression. Worried about my children

Last year August 1 2024, I struggle with my anxiety depression, its so difficult, because my physictrist diagnosed me also have PCOS . Until now I don't how to smile in front of many people. I'm just smile , I'm just tell a story sometimes, but when I am quite in my bed, it's always back to struggle if deep sadness. I thought im going to be fine but my mother last year December 4 has died cause of respiratory distress syndrome. I'm always saying in front of others that's I'm fine, I'm happy now but all is lie . I don't wanna see others to see me that I'm am sad, I am missarable because of my I can't explain of deeper anxiety. Sometime because I want to fight in life , I forgot to those people who needs me especially when it comes to my children. My daughter lately has changed her behavior, she don't want to socialize, she always say she's fine, I think she's difficult to show her feelings,she looks like no emotion, always in gadget, she don't want other activities, don't want to talk., while my son is so fast to angry , I don't what should I do, but I'm lately self centered, I didn't notice early has changing behavior in my children . My heart is so breaking like now 💔 But I don't want talk to anyone, I'm scared, I'm shy, life is so difficult 😥