depression and anger over being used by brother that took all my money did not repay any

Posted by ann ables @annables, Jun 16, 2012

MY brother a few yrs ago got in trouble because he didnt contribute to retirement
plan where he worked but he paid the employees retirement. this was illegal
he was looking at divorce losing his house and job and his standing as an
elected official–possible jail time. i handed him all my retirement money ===
i only had 45k recently rolled into my retirement fund. i had to pay irs a lot because
i wasnt retirement age when i got disabled. he said he would give me his land
he would inherit when our parents were no longer with us. he has not ever even
mentioned or paid any thing back to me. nor give me his land. i cannot sleep
have anxiety and hatred for him. can anyone help me get over this? i cannot afford therapy. i am 70 now and i do without proper food and live off ss check.
my brother lives high-buys exp guns gifts for his friends takes them to eat never
asks me. this squandering by him has turned me against him. he does nothing
for me. someone please give me advice about letting this gol i have a lot of anger and resentment to him. he will never pay me anything back. thanks .liz

@jsparks

HI Ann, just was reading at what a tough time you have been put through, its always hard to not be angry when you have been wronged and there other party does not even appear sorry specially a brother…. I am kinda new to anger issues but the one I was angry at died when he crashed into me, so I just held in the anger and it really messed with my head, but then I found this site and its amazing how helpful a good venting can be, Me and the friends I have been making don’t judge and we have all suffered in some way, I wish there was something I could do I understand about your lose of guns to, this year on my birthday even my house was robbed and all my guns were taking along with pretty much all my favorite possessions…. That was feb 5th, 2012 and even with no body getting caught, and no renters insurance and was on disability checks just getting by, it was hard and thats when I got angry even at the police for not doing anything to protect my stuff…. Besides one gun that was given to me by my grandfather before he died, all the stuff taken was just stuff, and I have actually found a way to be thankful, but the hardest part is getting over the fact someone took advantage of you, bettered themselves while making you suffer… I don’t know how they can live with that especially to family but you gotta just find a way to forgive him, not for his sake and he don’t even need to know but for yourself you gotta just move past it I know thats tough trust me I still working on it, but the anger your holding onto doesn’t hurt him just you. Well this is just what works for me, just find someway to forgive but you can not forget and ignore, it will just keep happening. just fyi Video evidence is soo effective even with governing officials, I now hit record on my cell phone if I feel uncomfortable around people that have questionable morals, but I am not saying thats very “healthy” but it sure makes me feel safer. I hope relief comes your way!!

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Hi–do i call you js or?

thank you for reply-I am new to site-is there any way we can talk outside-
i have info for you.I am surely sorry about the accident and the break-in
that you have suffered with. I hope local law helped you=where i live a person
has to go to them and ask for a case number (little known fact)-this leaves
your case open longer,etc. Thanks too, for info about ph. i will use that.
I want you to know I admire your spirit and your capability to forgive.-
Wish I knew how-I fall back-in same anger and frustration.Thanks Ann

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Hi Ann, here comes some more love and a hug for you! Please do contact Legal Aide…or…ANY lawyer that is willing to work on a contingency basis. I know what you must be going through…being torn up because this is your BROTHER, for goodness sake, but Ann, it really is necessary that you honor YOURSELF… you WILL find the strength… it will be there. Keep in touch.
Just say to yourself: Spirit, I WANT to forgive even though I don’t ‘feel’ like it… don’t expect to FEEL like it…that is asking too much right now… Just tell Spirit you WANT to do what is best for your Highest Good…and all those concerned. It will happen Ann… even though it may not always FEEL like it… You are not doing ANYTHING WRONG …you sound VERY normal to me! 🙂 Plus, You sound like a wonderful, lovely person!

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@bettyann

Hi Ann, here comes some more love and a hug for you! Please do contact Legal Aide…or…ANY lawyer that is willing to work on a contingency basis. I know what you must be going through…being torn up because this is your BROTHER, for goodness sake, but Ann, it really is necessary that you honor YOURSELF… you WILL find the strength… it will be there. Keep in touch.
Just say to yourself: Spirit, I WANT to forgive even though I don’t ‘feel’ like it… don’t expect to FEEL like it…that is asking too much right now… Just tell Spirit you WANT to do what is best for your Highest Good…and all those concerned. It will happen Ann… even though it may not always FEEL like it… You are not doing ANYTHING WRONG …you sound VERY normal to me! 🙂 Plus, You sound like a wonderful, lovely person!

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Hi Bettyann, What sound and sensible advice. I will assure you that I will take
your advice tonight. It is amazing when you read certain words, and they just
seem to click.You are right-I am not doing anything wrong–but i have failed to honor myself–I try to forgive-think I got it===Then it rushes back sometimes
worse than before. I say “I must be doing something wrong”. Thank you for
your kind reply. Sending love your way. In His Love. Ann

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@bettyann

Hi Ann, here comes some more love and a hug for you! Please do contact Legal Aide…or…ANY lawyer that is willing to work on a contingency basis. I know what you must be going through…being torn up because this is your BROTHER, for goodness sake, but Ann, it really is necessary that you honor YOURSELF… you WILL find the strength… it will be there. Keep in touch.
Just say to yourself: Spirit, I WANT to forgive even though I don’t ‘feel’ like it… don’t expect to FEEL like it…that is asking too much right now… Just tell Spirit you WANT to do what is best for your Highest Good…and all those concerned. It will happen Ann… even though it may not always FEEL like it… You are not doing ANYTHING WRONG …you sound VERY normal to me! 🙂 Plus, You sound like a wonderful, lovely person!

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Hi ann how are things going Piglit

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@jsparks

HI Ann, just was reading at what a tough time you have been put through, its always hard to not be angry when you have been wronged and there other party does not even appear sorry specially a brother…. I am kinda new to anger issues but the one I was angry at died when he crashed into me, so I just held in the anger and it really messed with my head, but then I found this site and its amazing how helpful a good venting can be, Me and the friends I have been making don’t judge and we have all suffered in some way, I wish there was something I could do I understand about your lose of guns to, this year on my birthday even my house was robbed and all my guns were taking along with pretty much all my favorite possessions…. That was feb 5th, 2012 and even with no body getting caught, and no renters insurance and was on disability checks just getting by, it was hard and thats when I got angry even at the police for not doing anything to protect my stuff…. Besides one gun that was given to me by my grandfather before he died, all the stuff taken was just stuff, and I have actually found a way to be thankful, but the hardest part is getting over the fact someone took advantage of you, bettered themselves while making you suffer… I don’t know how they can live with that especially to family but you gotta just find a way to forgive him, not for his sake and he don’t even need to know but for yourself you gotta just move past it I know thats tough trust me I still working on it, but the anger your holding onto doesn’t hurt him just you. Well this is just what works for me, just find someway to forgive but you can not forget and ignore, it will just keep happening. just fyi Video evidence is soo effective even with governing officials, I now hit record on my cell phone if I feel uncomfortable around people that have questionable morals, but I am not saying thats very “healthy” but it sure makes me feel safer. I hope relief comes your way!!

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Ya, Law Enforcement, I have not been able to sugar coat my views on them, 5 hours I waited for them, I have lived on this same street since was 8, yes I now live 2 houses down from my parents… but we never had issues, and heck we never locked the doors, its sure different now, but I am glad we weren’t home and I realized as well as my anti gun father, we have the right to bear arms, so we both bought our first hand guns, and we call ourselves the neighborhood watch, as on both sides of me I have 2 elderly widows so I feel its my job to take care of them if needed… Well, kinda got off on a rant the moment I think about law enforcement, I had no idea that since I was a 1/4 mile out of city limits that they wouldn’t help, until Feb.5th I had a desire to be a cop, but I think there is a better way for me to help others, not just make money for the city with speeding tickets..

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@jsparks

HI Ann, just was reading at what a tough time you have been put through, its always hard to not be angry when you have been wronged and there other party does not even appear sorry specially a brother…. I am kinda new to anger issues but the one I was angry at died when he crashed into me, so I just held in the anger and it really messed with my head, but then I found this site and its amazing how helpful a good venting can be, Me and the friends I have been making don’t judge and we have all suffered in some way, I wish there was something I could do I understand about your lose of guns to, this year on my birthday even my house was robbed and all my guns were taking along with pretty much all my favorite possessions…. That was feb 5th, 2012 and even with no body getting caught, and no renters insurance and was on disability checks just getting by, it was hard and thats when I got angry even at the police for not doing anything to protect my stuff…. Besides one gun that was given to me by my grandfather before he died, all the stuff taken was just stuff, and I have actually found a way to be thankful, but the hardest part is getting over the fact someone took advantage of you, bettered themselves while making you suffer… I don’t know how they can live with that especially to family but you gotta just find a way to forgive him, not for his sake and he don’t even need to know but for yourself you gotta just move past it I know thats tough trust me I still working on it, but the anger your holding onto doesn’t hurt him just you. Well this is just what works for me, just find someway to forgive but you can not forget and ignore, it will just keep happening. just fyi Video evidence is soo effective even with governing officials, I now hit record on my cell phone if I feel uncomfortable around people that have questionable morals, but I am not saying thats very “healthy” but it sure makes me feel safer. I hope relief comes your way!!

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j js jsparks, I sometimes answer to hey you as well so what ever you prefer 🙂

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@joanneo

Dear Ann I am so sorry to hear of your misfortune. Unfortunately; your kindness was abused.you have to try to let it go because the anger will eat you up and cause depression..I realize that this is hard to do but you must take care of yourself..you may have to detach from this relationship. Please keep intouch with me as I truly care and would like to help you. I am a good sounding board and it sounds like that’s what you need right now. Do you have any friends to talk with that you trust? Sincerely. Jodi

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Dear Jodi–I have started detaching from my relative–and he knows something
is going on. I think he is picking up on my coolness–I am having a hard time
trying to keep the anger in check.. It’s really hard to do. Trying to forgive–there is
so much–thats been done to others in the family-==Wish I could forget it. I dont
have friends here that I can trust—I am so grateful for your words.. I am grateful
to have met all of you-this is a good site with good people. Much love. Ann

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@jsparks

HI Ann, just was reading at what a tough time you have been put through, its always hard to not be angry when you have been wronged and there other party does not even appear sorry specially a brother…. I am kinda new to anger issues but the one I was angry at died when he crashed into me, so I just held in the anger and it really messed with my head, but then I found this site and its amazing how helpful a good venting can be, Me and the friends I have been making don’t judge and we have all suffered in some way, I wish there was something I could do I understand about your lose of guns to, this year on my birthday even my house was robbed and all my guns were taking along with pretty much all my favorite possessions…. That was feb 5th, 2012 and even with no body getting caught, and no renters insurance and was on disability checks just getting by, it was hard and thats when I got angry even at the police for not doing anything to protect my stuff…. Besides one gun that was given to me by my grandfather before he died, all the stuff taken was just stuff, and I have actually found a way to be thankful, but the hardest part is getting over the fact someone took advantage of you, bettered themselves while making you suffer… I don’t know how they can live with that especially to family but you gotta just find a way to forgive him, not for his sake and he don’t even need to know but for yourself you gotta just move past it I know thats tough trust me I still working on it, but the anger your holding onto doesn’t hurt him just you. Well this is just what works for me, just find someway to forgive but you can not forget and ignore, it will just keep happening. just fyi Video evidence is soo effective even with governing officials, I now hit record on my cell phone if I feel uncomfortable around people that have questionable morals, but I am not saying thats very “healthy” but it sure makes me feel safer. I hope relief comes your way!!

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lol sense of humour is great Talk soon Hey you

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@jsparks

HI Ann, just was reading at what a tough time you have been put through, its always hard to not be angry when you have been wronged and there other party does not even appear sorry specially a brother…. I am kinda new to anger issues but the one I was angry at died when he crashed into me, so I just held in the anger and it really messed with my head, but then I found this site and its amazing how helpful a good venting can be, Me and the friends I have been making don’t judge and we have all suffered in some way, I wish there was something I could do I understand about your lose of guns to, this year on my birthday even my house was robbed and all my guns were taking along with pretty much all my favorite possessions…. That was feb 5th, 2012 and even with no body getting caught, and no renters insurance and was on disability checks just getting by, it was hard and thats when I got angry even at the police for not doing anything to protect my stuff…. Besides one gun that was given to me by my grandfather before he died, all the stuff taken was just stuff, and I have actually found a way to be thankful, but the hardest part is getting over the fact someone took advantage of you, bettered themselves while making you suffer… I don’t know how they can live with that especially to family but you gotta just find a way to forgive him, not for his sake and he don’t even need to know but for yourself you gotta just move past it I know thats tough trust me I still working on it, but the anger your holding onto doesn’t hurt him just you. Well this is just what works for me, just find someway to forgive but you can not forget and ignore, it will just keep happening. just fyi Video evidence is soo effective even with governing officials, I now hit record on my cell phone if I feel uncomfortable around people that have questionable morals, but I am not saying thats very “healthy” but it sure makes me feel safer. I hope relief comes your way!!

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Good idea to try and stay on the right side of the law I think

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@joanneo

Dear Ann I am so sorry to hear of your misfortune. Unfortunately; your kindness was abused.you have to try to let it go because the anger will eat you up and cause depression..I realize that this is hard to do but you must take care of yourself..you may have to detach from this relationship. Please keep intouch with me as I truly care and would like to help you. I am a good sounding board and it sounds like that’s what you need right now. Do you have any friends to talk with that you trust? Sincerely. Jodi

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just what works for me, everyone is different, You gotta find a outlet, some its knitting, gardening, hobbies. But I found one thing that gets the hurt to go away for me is painting, no I can’t paint on paper but I will paint on darn near anything else, I am not good but its just lets my emotion get out into the work, and then the next day I look at it, and you can tell how pissed I was by what I painted, and I have had to sand a few things back down because they were not something I wanted to keep, but there are some that I am still glad I did, for example right now on my computer desk between me and the monitor if you look down towards your fingers on the keyboard Its says ALIVE in 6 inch letters, bright bold and catches your eye, it reminds me everyday that I did survive, and I need to be thankful for that, well the night I painted that was the last time I had “survivors guilt” where I wished I had also died in that wreck. So long story short, we all have a lot we go through but what matters is we are still here, and we are still trying to better ourselves and help outs, I know what its like to go from not worrying about money to not knowing how to keep the lights on or food on the table, I have lived well the 25th will be 1 year in financial crisis due to someone elses mistake. and I agree IT SUCKS to worry about money, but I also have learned, money and things are way over rated. I hope this helped at all, I really hope you can find what you need to hear, and be patient, it took me sometime of reading peoples responses and opinion tell I found what worked for me, But I am still new around here but I got a couple friends now that know what I am going through, and understand, and most importantly Don’t judge me. only we are weak, together with friends we can be strong!!!

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@joanneo

Dear Ann I am so sorry to hear of your misfortune. Unfortunately; your kindness was abused.you have to try to let it go because the anger will eat you up and cause depression..I realize that this is hard to do but you must take care of yourself..you may have to detach from this relationship. Please keep intouch with me as I truly care and would like to help you. I am a good sounding board and it sounds like that’s what you need right now. Do you have any friends to talk with that you trust? Sincerely. Jodi

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Hi j so agree with what you are saying , and know exactly where your coming from with all of this, Im so proud of you with the ongoing strength that continues to shine through. No-one should be judgemental, and you know that I do understand, and I’m so glad that your’e here. and yes together with friends can be us stronger. Take care Piglit

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@joanneo

Dear Ann I am so sorry to hear of your misfortune. Unfortunately; your kindness was abused.you have to try to let it go because the anger will eat you up and cause depression..I realize that this is hard to do but you must take care of yourself..you may have to detach from this relationship. Please keep intouch with me as I truly care and would like to help you. I am a good sounding board and it sounds like that’s what you need right now. Do you have any friends to talk with that you trust? Sincerely. Jodi

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Hi Friend- I think you are great. I mean that. You are very good at expressing
yourself and helping me, too. You got a grip-I admire that. I am learning from
all who have reached out to me. There is a lot of love and kindness shown on
this site. I am thankful I found such great friends. Ann

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