Depression - it's hard to ask for help

@tropicallady1276 first of all, thank you for telling your friend about Connect. It can be very hard to post in an online community, especially the first post. Please let her know that we are a group of people who understand and that we listen without judgement. Many here have experienced the shame and stigma of mental health in the wide world, but here on Connect we leave shed the shame and speak from the heart. We listen and offer a virtual hand to hold or shoulder to lean on.

Perhaps your friend would like to start to get to know us by reading some related discussions. Here are a few to start with:
- My depression never seems to end http://mayocl.in/2rcvGrg
- Need help! Depression and anxiety http://mayocl.in/2kCbo8q
- Been treated for major depressive disorder for most of my life. http://mayocl.in/2jTNxQI

TropicalLady, your friend is lucky to have a friend like you.

I don't know where you live. But if youre in Minnesota a good place to go is university of minnesota hospital on west bank. That's for mental health ER. You can just walk right off the street. They stabilize people and help them come back. They have inpatient and partial hospital programs. To my mind you just can't worry about what other people think. This is your life at stake. Btw I did have my first ER visit to St. Marys in Rochester. It was physical and mental health. They did make me take off clothes and put on paper scrubs and take all my things including car keys. I just decided to let go and trust because I needed help. They just totally take over and but sometimes that's what people need. But I did survive and I did get antibiotics and good inout. I think I also benefitted from clinical providers talking to each other. That is what happens when you're sitting in observation room. Infection and other physical problems can influence your mind. So don't discount that physical problems are causing mind problems. St. Mary's is good for diagnosing physical problems. University of Minnesota is good for west bank mental health ER. I do think you might be able to find help at a university hospital with a medical school. Good luck. It with be ok.

@ihatediabetes Thank you for sharing your experiences! You have provided a wealth of information and encouragement for @tropicallady1276 as well as others! Teresa

Teresa, thanks for your encouraging note. I just got back from hiking. Getting ticks on my body was really helping to put me over the edge along with other things. Now I made a new goal in healthy living program to come up with a good methodology for dealing with ticks. I got this spray for ticks that you spray on clothes. I also have backwoods Deet and a hat. I sprayed everything with peretherin (I think that's how its spelled) and pulled my socks over my pants. Things can really get overwhelming when they stack up. But yes, I can now say that I have been to St. Mary's ER. First time ever. I'm really hoping that I found a way to deal with ticks.

@ihatediabetes Your perseverance is amazing! Thanks again for sharing. Teresa

Teresa, that's funny that you mention perseverance. One reason why they let me out of the hospital so fast is they said I'm persistent and doing well. Doing healthy living program means you're trying to live and not kill yourself. Haha. Of course I'm not trying to kill myself. Wow. But I guess if you're in the ER that people will try to find out if you're suicidal. But I do think my perethrim spray on clothes, deet spray on body, hat, and putting socks over pants helped me to not get any ticks. I already had one tick stuck in my armpit. On other day I found tick stuck into my neck at the hairline. I found another crawling on my stomach that didn't bite me. Ticks make me feel so creepy. But I do encourage people to seek help when they need it. Its a lot better than suffering in silence. Sometimes you just have to do the cry for help thing to get help. I do think its easier for women because people are used to helping women do things like fixing a flat tire. But men need to let people help them, too.

@ihatediabetes Yes, so true. Women are much more likely to get help because we are used to asking for it. I don't believe that women are the "weaker sex" because we know when to ask for help! Teresa

Yes women do ask for help. I did notice that with all the talk about Mayo face transplant that nobody mentioned that both the donor of face and recipient of the new face had shot themselves in the head. So didn't these guys have mental health issues? I don't get why everybody talks about how wonderful a face transplant is without talking about why people shoot themselves in the face and head. Isn't it better medicine to help people before they shoot themselves than to repair the damage afterwards? I really thought they glorified face transplant and skipped over mental health topic. Kind of gives message that real men don't ask for help.

@ihatediabetes You offer an interesting perspective (as always) and make some good points. Unfortunately, people can't be helped unless they admit they have a problem and then seek help. For some folks that can be a quantum leap and one that many are unwilling to take. Teresa

@ihatediabetes, I am recipient of a life saving organ transplant. And I want to assure you that everyone who is eligible to be listed on the UNOS (United Network for Organ Sharing) national waiting list has undergone extensive psychological, as well as medical screening prior to being placed on the list. Treatment for underlying conditions is accomplished before listing. Patients are strictly monitored for adherence to any compliance issues during the long waiting time.

The purpose of transplant surgery ( a very complicated procedure) is to save lives and to respect and honor the organ donor.

I hope this clears up any misunderstanding.
Rosemary