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Dealing with a spouse who has profound hearing loss.

Posted by leeda5 @leeda5, May 17, 2023

My husband has dealt with serious hearing loss for years. The kids are grown and gone and he's long since retired. We have moved to a 55 plus community but it's been nearly impossible for him to make new friends. He has become a virtual hermit. Suggestions?

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Hearing Loss Support Group.

leeda5 | @leeda5 | Mar 3 8:44am
In reply to @irwinbill23 "He must feel so isolated. I would think a polite inquiry to another audiologist would be..." + (show)
@irwinbill23

He must feel so isolated. I would think a polite inquiry to another audiologist would be helpful. Julie makes great points as well. Maybe a new contact will give a new perspective and a chance at some hope.

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As I remarked to Julie above, his attitude has become the problem. He has just given up. Between speech/language residue left from the stroke, and loss of hearing, interacting with others is just too much trouble, I think.

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leeda5 | @leeda5 | Mar 3 8:48am
In reply to @julieo4 "@leeda5 I apologize if I came on too strong. My personal journey with hearing loss includes..." + (show)
@julieo4

@leeda5 I apologize if I came on too strong. My personal journey with hearing loss includes refusing to get help and becoming reclusive. I was much younger then. Becoming involved with HLAA way back in the early 80s when the organization was called 'Self Help for Hard of Hearing People', gave me my life back. I learned I wasn't alone and discovered options none of the hearing healthcare professionals I had seen had ever mentioned.

I'm so pleased to know you've joined HLAA. Chapters vary from place to place because they are organized and run by volunteers. It would be wonderful if every 55 plus community had an HLAA chapter or at least a discussion group focused on hearing loss. Data from the National Institutes of Health indicates that nearly 50% of the 65+ population has some degree of hearing loss.

A very wise friend I met through HLAA always said "When a family member has a hearing problem, everyone in the family has a hearing problem".

Last week I enjoyed an evening with a group of women I've known since the 70s. We played bridge together and watched each other's kids grow up. Good friends; all of us in our early 80s now. Three of the 6 who were there expressed frustration about their spouse's hearing loss and how it was affecting them, especially their social life. Even though all of them are in reasonably good health they don't do couple things much anymore.

I am sitting right there at the table with them using a very visible cordless microphone with my personal technology, so they are aware of add on tech. But none of their husbands use it or have it. Why?

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I just re-read this conversation (from May!) and am struck by the word , "Why?" Men just don't seem to have that strong need to socialize that many people, certainly including myself, do have. He says he's "content" to sit home and fiddle with his computer.

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