Dazed and confused

Posted by stuckonu @stuckonu, Jun 23 10:29am

Feeling like the proverbial can being kicked down the road.
The mental stress of not getting a straight answer now finds me thinking that I'm losing my mind. I wrote about this a while back in my journal. I often feel like I have a type of amnesia that if I'm not mistaking is said only a movie representation of what happens after being knocked out.

I saw two doctors within 10 days if each other. The first was in the low vision clinic and he made a point of informing me that this is a rehab clinic and not diagnostic. I asked him to just listen for a minute and after he was through doing his tests to please LOOK AT MY EYES.

His reaction threw me off ss he pushed back from his chair and threw his hands up asking “ what are you doing here, how made this appointment. He said my eyes were so obscured that he could see anything. At some point I drill bit sure what he means.

He said he thinks this is the worst case of cataracts that he's ever seen and wonders why no one told me or did anything about them.

I go to the eye doc I went to a year ago in May. She too is shocked at how bad they got in one test. I asked about emergency surgery. She said yes last Thursday. I thought I might hear from her on Friday after talking with the surgeon Never heard from her. I told her things seemed to be getting worse by the day if not the hour.

It's been like this for over a year.

Everytime my eyes are filsted they get worse yet every doctor want to dilate

Have you heard from your eye doctor about scheduling surgery for your cataracts? This loss of vision seems to be getting worse. Do you have someone who can help you to get an appointment, and take you for surgery?
Sue

REPLY
@sueinmn

Have you heard from your eye doctor about scheduling surgery for your cataracts? This loss of vision seems to be getting worse. Do you have someone who can help you to get an appointment, and take you for surgery?
Sue

Jump to this post

Thanks as always Sue for replying.

It is getting worse. I've been saying “ by the day” but I think it's more like by the hour.

There is an appointment scheduled for this Monday. The doctor I mentioned above set it up however I actually think she forgot. My PCP who is part of the hospital umbrella reached out or in, whatever the case was and she called me at 945 pm. I was long gone. My sleep has radically changed I sleep whenever I'm tired and get out of bed whenever I wake up. Although I see light it is painful so I live in a cave. I've devised some ingenious ways to “ see” these posts but my eyes pour out tears while attempting to read and write.

The things in my life that have been drastically affected are things I never heard about nor thought about. Honestly I think it's open my brain up to “ seeing “ in ways I never considered nor thought about. In some ways it's amazing almost like taking LSD.

I've BEEN writing about all of those things.

But one thing that still worries me and concerns me is what really happened and how I can find out about CATARACTS AND CATARACT SURGERY. The doctor gave me a bunch of paperwork one pamphlet has an illustration of the surgery. Not seeing well what she was explaining seemed so different from what I thought. What I thought she said scares me for several reasons mostly because the surgery almost made no sense and also because I never knew that there are more than one type of cataract. Because I can't read well I have no way of knowing if the type of cataract plays a part in the surgery in any way? Who ever heard of two types of cataracts stacked on top of each other? Most doctors who have looked at my eyes seem not to see them until they try to look behind them. Then they say” I can't see the back of your eye. Even the retina test came back confusing to the doctors.

At times I've found this thick gelatinous stuff on my pupil or center of my eye that is a pain to remove. As stupid as this sounds it reminded me of the puss that comes out of a wound. So is this stuff coming out of my eye or gathering when I nod out? No doctor has seen this stuff and I only thought to save it once and it solidified before I could show anyone.

One doctor said there can be more than one thing going on “ so lets get rid of the cataract then we can deal with other things.

Last night I had nightmares but some of the nightmare happens in reality when I nod out during the day. When I wake up objects in the room are rearrsnged as if I'm looking at a Picaso painting. I have to blink and think about the room I'm in for the objects to fit back where they belong. When I told one doctor they said I was still dreaming. I'm getting screwed up from all of these different views of the world. Few are “ normal “ even if it's all just blurry colors and shapes.

One last piece of strange info. My shrink called telling me that he was very “ worried” and wanted me on a stronger medication. He suggested Zolift. At first I laughed think he was kidding me since my records has Zoloft as a drug that makes me “ homicidal “ and we had discussed this a few times. I reminded his that all of the SSRI”s make me “ crazy” so we agreed upon TRYING CYMBALTA 3 days after taking the medication I felt that “ crazy feeling “ slipping in. I called his office, he's on vacation but his nurse said I didn't get cymbalta but he sent me PROZAC. Hi records states that we agreed to that medication. He didn't know that I recorded the call. So HE MADE A MISTAKE!

Can you understand why I'm DAZED AND CONFUSED?

Thanks for listening

REPLY
@stuckonu

Thanks as always Sue for replying.

It is getting worse. I've been saying “ by the day” but I think it's more like by the hour.

There is an appointment scheduled for this Monday. The doctor I mentioned above set it up however I actually think she forgot. My PCP who is part of the hospital umbrella reached out or in, whatever the case was and she called me at 945 pm. I was long gone. My sleep has radically changed I sleep whenever I'm tired and get out of bed whenever I wake up. Although I see light it is painful so I live in a cave. I've devised some ingenious ways to “ see” these posts but my eyes pour out tears while attempting to read and write.

The things in my life that have been drastically affected are things I never heard about nor thought about. Honestly I think it's open my brain up to “ seeing “ in ways I never considered nor thought about. In some ways it's amazing almost like taking LSD.

I've BEEN writing about all of those things.

But one thing that still worries me and concerns me is what really happened and how I can find out about CATARACTS AND CATARACT SURGERY. The doctor gave me a bunch of paperwork one pamphlet has an illustration of the surgery. Not seeing well what she was explaining seemed so different from what I thought. What I thought she said scares me for several reasons mostly because the surgery almost made no sense and also because I never knew that there are more than one type of cataract. Because I can't read well I have no way of knowing if the type of cataract plays a part in the surgery in any way? Who ever heard of two types of cataracts stacked on top of each other? Most doctors who have looked at my eyes seem not to see them until they try to look behind them. Then they say” I can't see the back of your eye. Even the retina test came back confusing to the doctors.

At times I've found this thick gelatinous stuff on my pupil or center of my eye that is a pain to remove. As stupid as this sounds it reminded me of the puss that comes out of a wound. So is this stuff coming out of my eye or gathering when I nod out? No doctor has seen this stuff and I only thought to save it once and it solidified before I could show anyone.

One doctor said there can be more than one thing going on “ so lets get rid of the cataract then we can deal with other things.

Last night I had nightmares but some of the nightmare happens in reality when I nod out during the day. When I wake up objects in the room are rearrsnged as if I'm looking at a Picaso painting. I have to blink and think about the room I'm in for the objects to fit back where they belong. When I told one doctor they said I was still dreaming. I'm getting screwed up from all of these different views of the world. Few are “ normal “ even if it's all just blurry colors and shapes.

One last piece of strange info. My shrink called telling me that he was very “ worried” and wanted me on a stronger medication. He suggested Zolift. At first I laughed think he was kidding me since my records has Zoloft as a drug that makes me “ homicidal “ and we had discussed this a few times. I reminded his that all of the SSRI”s make me “ crazy” so we agreed upon TRYING CYMBALTA 3 days after taking the medication I felt that “ crazy feeling “ slipping in. I called his office, he's on vacation but his nurse said I didn't get cymbalta but he sent me PROZAC. Hi records states that we agreed to that medication. He didn't know that I recorded the call. So HE MADE A MISTAKE!

Can you understand why I'm DAZED AND CONFUSED?

Thanks for listening

Jump to this post

I'm so sorry that you are struggling so much with vision loss and are not being provided with clear information. The dreams you are experiencing may be visual hallucinations due to Charles Bonet Syndrome. In that case, the visual hallucinations are the brain's compensation for severe vision loss. They will hopefully go away after cataract surgery. It's true that thick cataracts could obscure the MD's view of your retina. They will be able to examine your retina after the cataract surgery. The good news is that cataracts are correctable. Through all the distress please try to stay hopeful that your vision will be much better after surgery. Is there anyone who can accompany you to your MD appointments? It seems right now you need an advocate while things are scary and confusing. I'll pray for you.

REPLY
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