Daughter needs help
We have a 30 year old daughter who is an addict. She was a 4.0 GPA student, no history of drug use or even much alcohol use . She did have anxiety and after graduating from college during COVID problems finding a job . She went and talked to a counselor and suddenly began coming up with wild things from her childhood that she said were traumas that never actually happened. She said the counselor told her she needed to reparent herself . Fast forward and our relationship between her and her Father and I deteriorated, she also was told she had ADHD and was prescribed Vyvanse.
This all began several years ago.. she was still finding work and paying her bills. Fast forward to 2 years ago and we found out she was using whippets , lying to everyone everywhere and she has now gotten involved with people who do Meth, sell it we think as well, she has used credits cards to cash advance that are not hers, she has lost her apartment and most of her belongings . She has lost her cats, and all her friends except a couple who are involved in all this.
Her father and I took the car she had to use due to her driving while high and lending it to someone who was delivering drugs. She will not get it back.
We feel like we are dealing with some mental illness and the drugs are self medicating. She is staying in a house that the parents of her roommate own rent free . He is an alcoholic from what it seems. The Mom has enabled the two of them to stay on this path by supporting them . We will not do that. She lives 30 miles away and we haven't seen her in 3 years. She has come up with stories and lies about her childhood on the level of delusions and we are worried we might be dealing with Schizophrenia.
We have taken a hard road with this.
We would like to get her help, but we know if we do a Chapter 51 she will quickly talk herself out the door and it wont help. She is incredibly well spoken and intelligent and would have no issues spinning whatever tale she needed to to get what she wanted from any provider or treatment facility. There have been numerous opportunities over the last few years where providers could have stepped in and helped her and they didnt. In fact one , prescribed Adderall for her after she told him she never used any drugs and that was with him knowing she had been stopped with whippets.
She needs to be somewhere for long enough they can see through the games and she cant keep up the act and then she can get the help she needs.
We have all but resigned ourselves to the fact that we are going to get a call that she has overdosed and is dead. If we see a way to step in and get her help, even if she never talks to us again, we will do it.
We just do not see a way to do that , that will end in actual help yet.
We dont know how we got here. Her Dad and I have no history of addiction. We dont even really drink alcohol, maybe at a wedding or something on rare occasion. We are 60 and its just not a thing for us.
We think she is possibly using gabapentin now , buying someone else's prescription.
We are at a loss on how to help her.
Ideas, feedback, information.. anything anyone has.. please share.
Thank you in advance.
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Unfortunately, the only thing you can do is let her know you’re there if and when she wants help. Real help.
For you, I’d start attending Al-Anon or Nar-Anon meetings. They’re not to show you how to help her but to help yourself deal with how she is affecting you.
Good luck. ❤️
Sounds like she has a co-occurring disorder. As a recovering alcoholic/addict, I know that until the mental illness is treated, the substance use may be difficult to stop. I am so sorry you are having to deal with this and I know that you love her. I am putting a link in this reply. I know that methamphetamine can cause symptoms similar to schizophrenia and psychosis, (delusions, etc.). If you believe her to be a harm to herself or someone else, then I would recommend trying to get her committed for a 72 hour assessment. Be sure and let them know about everything you have said here, like the use of nitrous (whippets) and methamphetamine. I know that people can become dangerously paranoid. Meth is just bad. The more the doctors know about her usage and history, the better chance of accurate treatment. Here is the link. Please keep us posted.
https://www.samhsa.gov/mental-health/serious-mental-illness/co-occurring-disorders
https://www.nami.org/your-journey/family-members-and-caregivers/