Crying for Your Health?

Posted by Teresa, Volunteer Mentor @hopeful33250, Mon, Mar 25 6:26pm

As we begin this new Discussion group on Loss and Grief I was thinking about the value of tears. Yes, I did say value!

Many of us grew up without tears. We did not see others crying, we may have been told that we should not cry, perhaps it was even a rule in your home that boys don't cry or crying shows weakness. Sound familiar?

Did you know though that the tears that come from emotions like grief and loss are different than the tears that come from peeling an onion or getting sand in your eyes? It really is so!

Here is a link to an article from Psychology Today about the value of tears. Just click on the link you can read the entire article, https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/emotional-freedom/201007/the-health-benefits-tears.

I would like to quote a portion of this article for you,

"Emotional tears have special health benefits. Biochemist and “tear expert” Dr. William Frey at the Ramsey Medical Center in Minneapolis discovered that reflex tears are 98% water, whereas emotional tears also contain stress hormones which get excreted from the body through crying. After studying the composition of tears, Dr. Frey found that emotional tears shed these hormones and other toxins which accumulate during stress. Additional studies also suggest that crying stimulates the production of endorphins, our body’s natural pain killer and “feel-good” hormones.” Interestingly, humans are the only creatures known to shed emotional tears, though it’s possible that elephants and gorillas do too. Other mammals and also salt-water crocodiles produce reflex tears which are protective and lubricating.

Crying makes us feel better, even when a problem persists. In addition to physical detoxification, emotional tears heal the heart. You don’t want to hold tears back. Patients sometimes say, "Please excuse me for crying. I was trying hard not to. It makes me feel weak."

How do you feel about tears? Is crying an acceptable way for you to deal with loss? If not, why?

I look forward to hearing from you.

I find myself crying a lot. It's not an unusual response for me when I'm sad or even angry, so I try to let myself be okay with it. But I can't say I find it very healing or cathartic or anything. I don't feel better after I've cried. It just is.

I do have to say that the one time I get irritated with the tears in this time of grieving is their timing especially of when I've just gone to bed. That's because I have a Cpap mask on at that time, and with the tears and runny nose inside it — it just gets very complicated! I hate it.

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@trider7140

I find myself crying a lot. It's not an unusual response for me when I'm sad or even angry, so I try to let myself be okay with it. But I can't say I find it very healing or cathartic or anything. I don't feel better after I've cried. It just is.

I do have to say that the one time I get irritated with the tears in this time of grieving is their timing especially of when I've just gone to bed. That's because I have a Cpap mask on at that time, and with the tears and runny nose inside it — it just gets very complicated! I hate it.

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Thanks for adding your thoughts, @trider7140. I think you might find this short video from Dr. Amit Sood about how tears are healing to our body and our spirits. Just scroll down to the video titled, Can Crying Be a Good Thing?
https://www.resilientoption.com/
Will, you let me know what you think after viewing the video?

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You may have read what happened to my family…..
Sorry, here it is again:

I just returned from our girls week at 8pm on June 2 and talked to my husband about what fun our daughter and I had that week. Every year I visit her for girls week. At 6:15am that very next morning our son in law called us. We immediately, in shock packed and drove to Ohio ( we live in SC). Our daughter didnt make it to the hospital. I still cant believe shes gone. We are lost, empty and feel its all surreal.
Our daughter was generally fine, however she was taking Tamoxifin which has several bad side effects, worse of which is blood clots, which is what happened.
She was taking it for a year and her doctor only saw her twice. She also had other side effects, etc. I will write more later. We need help dealing. She was our only sweet child, a teacher and LOVED by everyone. She was amazing and was involved in many charities, projects, always giving, loving, helped everyone with anything, kind, people loved her.
We cant deal with this well; cant believe shes gone. We have no family here in SC (Hilton Head area). Not many friends ( they all work, we are retired) so its tough. Her school had a beautiful tribute to her by having a concert, a parade and candle-prayer Virgil. Hundreds of cards were received by us when we came home. I miss my sweet daughter so bad. We cry every day, just sick! Please help. My friend, Terri Martin who also belongs to Mayo Clinic Connect suggested I seek help with Mayo Clinic. Terri is wonderful!
Thank you.
Our daughter just “celebrated”
(July 28) her 15th Wedding Anniversary in Heaven. Yesterday, Aug 1 was her 46th birthday. Help!
………………………………………………

Days are bad, I feel empty but still do the necessary stuff…..cook and clean! I feel lost.
Terrible day yesterday. We have no family around here. One or two friends. People keep to themselves around our development or so it seems. Its hard.

Yesterday, Sept 10 I had a horrific day. It was as if I just remembered Kirs was gone. I went crazy and cried all day. Yeah, all day. The crying gave me a headache a d I felt nothing…just missed Kirs and could not believe she was gone. I just saw her it seemed.
My husband tried to help but I still chocked up and cried.
Today is better but the horrible void is hell. She lived in Ohio ( where I am from) and we live near Hilton Head. We didnt see each other as often as we both wished. ( Christmas, Thanksgiving, Spring Break). Talked on phone often. She was my best friend, my heart and soul. I did visit every year for 10 days; our fun long girls week.
Seems theres no help for people in our situation.

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