Connect
Couldn't Leave, Until I Did
I Couldn't Leave, Until I Did
I couldn't leave, I didn't know how,
I hide my bruises, hid my face,
Too shattered to be seen somehow,
Too broken to find a safer place.
I cried so loud just to be heard,
Deaf to the echo of my own pain,
My tongue was sharp, my thoughts were blurred,
I left a fire where love should of been
It wasn't sadness, it was dread,
Rejection, wanting what would never stay,
A house where love had starved and bled,
Where nothing gentle dared to stay.
I lost chances, time and tears,
I wounded hearts I was meant to hold,
Too grieving and too lost in fears,
In a story too shattered to be told.
Then through the dark, God spoke my name, shelly!
He whispered *shelly, it's not too late,
Getup!, open your eyes, be brave,
I’m giving you one more chance at fate.
That night I rose up from that floor,
That night I chose myself, I chose to see,
I turned my back and closed that door,
And left that darkness watching me.
I left my old life in the dust,
I left the ones who watched me fall,
I shed the woman I had lost,
And buried that old self all of her
Each day I thank Him for that night,
He lifted me from sin and fire,
He turned my shadows into light,
And breathed new life into my lost soul
Don't say your hell was worse than mine,
I never measure pain to pain,
I only know this soul of mine
Survived what should have left me dead.
And now I face another war,
They whisper cancer, stage four,
But hear me when I say this!
Cancer will not define me,
Just as violence couldn't.
That trauma never got to name me,
And this disease will not either
I was the woman too sad, too lost to be,
Now I'm the woman who stood up and took my life back
And finally, I am free to take my life back once again!!
Like
Helpful
HugInterested in more discussions like this? Go to the Breast Cancer Support Group.
Connect
You are still standing, and stand tall. You are a warrior and you are NOT ALONE in your fight! All hear hear you loud and clear. Fight this invisible breast, you have a lot to teach others. Your job is not done!!!
-
Like -
Helpful -
Hug
2 ReactionsSo hauntingly beautiful! Are you a poet? I’m glad you finally found the inner strength to face the beast. You fight not for you but for your loved ones and for all of us. We are here to cheer for you. You’re not alone. Hugs.
-
Like -
Helpful -
Hug
1 Reaction@shellyk89 this touched me until I cried, thank you for posting it.
How are you doing? Are you having any treatments?
-
Like -
Helpful -
Hug
1 ReactionMy name is Shelly. I was just diagnosed with Stage II Invasive Ductal Carcinoma reoccurrence. I came to this forum to look for helpful tips for Enhertu chemotherapy, but what I am finding is the words to express how I feel inside. The fear and uncertainty. The search for answers to life's hardest questions. Am I capable of going through this? Is survival the answer or is it the journey? How can I honor God and be a Godly woman with so much fear? Will I hurt my family with my fears and anxiety? How do I cast all my anxiety onto Him when it's my body that will be desperate for relief? Your words reached to my heart, left me crying. You are amazing! With heartfelt gratitude for your words of life.
-
Like -
Helpful -
Hug
4 Reactions@shellideli
Dear Shelly:
Thanks for sharing such a beautiful poem with your personal experience that touches us all! What an intelligent poet you are, my friend!
For life is a journey and your life is a poem.
Better journey ahead with hope, peace and love!
-
Like -
Helpful -
Hug
1 Reaction@shellideli
Do you mean, herceptin chemotherapy? Cancer is Her2 +2, but in your ducts? lymph nodes or just in your breast? Mine second time around 26 years apart was DCIS invasive carcinoma? Not in lymph nodes? Let me know when you can?
@angele2times My treatment will be the drug Enhertu. I start 9/15/26.
@angele2times oh, and my cancer is stage 2 grade 2 IDC in lymph nodes.
Yes, yours is a different fight, but a fight all right! I am on herceptin, Yours is different as I am finding out that everyone's cancer has some sort of twist to it!! Bizarre! but, mine was only in my breast and not in my lymph nodes. So, they are treating you and the cancer differently! I did a mastectomy and had all kinds of problems with that, because of the first cancer oddly enough!! I was going for a new boob at my age 74, and had hematoma under the expander and the beginnings of an infection. What a ride!! 26 years in between cancer treatments!!!
But, I am still standing defiantly against cancer. I moved quickly to get this taken care of. As all of us should!
Again, good luck! I will pray for you.
-
Like -
Helpful -
Hug
2 Reactions“Women are like teabags, we don’t know our own strength until we are in hot water”- Eleanor Roosevelt
So true. Best to you
-
Like -
Helpful -
Hug
4 Reactions