Confused and sad

@daddystressed
My heart goes to you and I am so sorry to hear that you suffer so much : (. Did you consider surgery to permanently fix a problem or using a clamp ? Many here have good results with both.

Otherwise, there is no actual measure of somebody's suffering - everybody's pain is equal in magnitude, no matter what is causing it. : ((

@daddystressed
I had a prostatectomy 16 years ago and was not incontinent at all. 3 1/2 years later, I had radiation and still not incontinent, But six years after that, it started to be a problem. It’s gotten progressively worse over the last six years But I never wear diapers. I wear a pad, And no one has ever noticed my smelling of urine. I wear a clamp if I have to go somewhere for a while I don’t want to have to worry about leaking.

There are solutions for incontinence. I’m having an artificial urinary sphincter (AUS) installed in a couple of months and that will stop my problem almost completely. You don’t have to live with it for the rest of your life. I’m 78 now and it’s an inconvenience, but it Does not prevent me from doing almost anything. The one drawback is going on a long trip out of the country would be difficult. That’s why I’m getting the AUS.

Does your man friend live alone? As men prostrate cancer attacks our sense on manhood. I don't know this man but he could be withdrawing himself from you for various reasons and only he knows that. I really don't what to say because I don't know him or you. All I can say is take of yourself and prayerfully things will work out

@jeffmarc I am diabetic. My surgeon never told me that being a diabetic causes you to pee more. I have inconsistencies all the time. After I feel like my bladder is empty I may have 5 to 7 episodes of inconsistencies after I have used the bathroom. I take medication for an over active bladder, but it doesn't help. If your not having inconsistencies, your very blessed.

Very grateful for my wife of less than three years. Impressed by the heart of this loving woman. So supportive all along my recent PC journey. Doctors visits, waiting during my MRI, kneeling by the exam table holding my hand, smiling at biopsy, helping me empty my catheter post surgery, Accepting flexible, and creative in intimacy as I recover. The heart of a woman is impressive. Gift from God-a treasure!

@surftohealth88 ive done some research on the surgical implanted ones. The reviews ive read say they tend to leak. Ive used a pacey cuff, and i wind up wet. Ive used max absorbing pull ups with two pad inserted in my pull ups. If i go to bed, I wake up soaked. I religious do my kegel and pelvic exercises. I have therapy showing different exercises, stretches, and breathing techniques. I wear External Latex Urine Sheath that I wear with clothes medical tape around my penis to secure the sheath in place. Then a tube I secure with another type of tape leading to another tube that leads down my leg to a pee bag which is also secured to the tube with tape. I have to make sure the hair is shaved or I use hair removal by hair, so the tape can adhere to my body. I cant shower this way or the tape loosens. I take sink wash ups.If im lucky to make through 5 days without it leaking im blessed. I've had two accidents since this method. The tape has left opened sores on my penis and I have a cut from the condom. Its very uncomfortable since the wrap has to be tight. Ran out of ideas and this is the only thing I can come up with that works, that allows me to work. I am a paratransit driver that drives the pace buses.

@daddystressed
I had surgery no incontinence, 3 1/2 years later, I had to have radiation, when cancer came back, still no incontinence. Six years later, I started having incontinence issues In the six years after that, the incontinence has gotten worse. I don’t leak when I’m laying down in bed, but if I stand up, walk around, sit down and get up, I leak a lot.

I’m having an AUS (Artificial Urinary sphincter) Install installed in June. It pretty much stops all the incontinence issues. I’ve had radiation so that is really the only option I have. If I had not had radiation, I would get a ProACT device installed. It doesn’t require hitting a button in the scrotum in order to pee.

Options like these provide long-term solutions to incontinence.

@daddystressed
You say the surgically implanted one’s tend to leak. While there might be a minimal amount of leakage that requires a thin pad, that is all, Compared to what the people that are having that treatment done have, with multiple pads every day, it’s a dramatic change in lifestyle.

Go on vacation and you don’t need a suitcase full of pads.

@jeffmarc happy for you. Thin pads would be welcomed. My circumstances aren't the same as yours. Im sure there are a lot of men and woman experiencing the same thing im going through. Some are better off than others. Stay blessed.

@daddystressed
I don’t understand why you’re thinking AUS would not work for you. They connected to your urethra inside your body and put a valve so that it doesn’t allow leaking through. Well, it may allow a few drips. It is not gonna do anything close to what you’re experiencing now.

People who have used eight or nine pads a day have had these installed and had no or minimal leakage. The devices just work.