Cerebellar stroke experience, treatment, recovery - want to dialogue

@brightwings ...Yep, crap on a plate, lol! , That's exactly what the day brings. I go to bed and hope I won't be dished up the same old crap tomorrow. But, half the time it's my attitude. Then I have to adjust. Thanks brightwings. You are a ray of sunshine, bit so real, too. I don't like saccharine. Life ain't that sweet. It's tough, but with consolations along the way. I prefer sundhine over gloom, but gloom happens. Gotta make peace with it. Don't have to like it, though. Sounds like you make your own sunshine! Good for you, and thanks for sharing it! Am glad you have family to love and be proud of. Really. Hope you get to see them, though I'm sure you communicate plenty. Blessings. JMJ

@jmjlove
Your story touched my heart so much. In so many ways.
I am of the Vietnam war age. I know what my friends endured over there to be spit upon when returning home. The horrors they saw and in many cases but not all, participated in.
Your husband went thru a lot and I honor him. Please share that with him.
It sounds like you made an unbearable situation bearable one trick at a time. Good for you. It sounds like you have a great mind to figure this out so far with so little help. VA was useless in those days.
I appreciated you sharing your story and realized you have accomplished MY DREAM.
I had set up a huge dream family when I was 8. I would have a very large family with oddles of grands, greats and great, great grandchildren. My children did not cooperate in my dream and that's the way it is. I have one grandson out of 3 children of my body.
However, my family also spreads across 5 continents with children of my heart. I feel so blessed by that. I have shared my heart with hundreds of folks across the world. We each have been blessed in our lifetimes.
I worked hard to honor my feelings what ever they were. On the hardest days, I would find one moment of joy and I would put it in my pocket and take it out at the end of the day with any others I collected and realized it was a pretty good day. Some days were just too difficult to categorize any other way. Small baby steps get you a long way.
I have the gift of sharing what worked for me to others who have known great pain cuz it takes one to know one.
On the days that were just too difficult to bear, I learned I had the best day when I honored the pile of crap that was on my plate that day. I became greatful cuz you truly have to know the bad or worst to FULLY appreciate the best.
I am happy for you, you rock!
Bright Wings
Thank you for your blessing it means a lot.

@brightwings.....just found your lovely note to me. Sounds like you've perfected empathy, but I find those that have suffered much, and I don't mean just physical, are deeply empathetic. I ve spent 41 years married to a man 100% disabled by PTSD (marine, Vietnam War veteran) diagnosed unemployable. Ate stress morning noon and night. Abusive when triggered. Spent life desperate to avoid triggers. Learned to recognize the steps leading to meltdown, learned to cut it off, if possible. Poor hubby. Poor family. Neither husband or I even knew what we were dealing with for first 35 years of marriage. It was obvious he wasn't "normal", but it wasn't until a very stressful event occurred that he was convinced he absolutely had a problem that he absolutely could not control. Long story short. He went to VA. Was considered a classic case of severe debilitating PTSD. Received long overdue counseling, was put on disability. With no need to be reevaluted...which is normally mandated every one or two years at the VA Best thing that has happened in our 41 years together. So, abuse, due to little fault of his own, if you understand PTSD at all....is managed by finally having the tools to deal with his through the roof anxiety, phobias, and temper. Do you wonder about how much the abuse and stress contributed to your stroke later on? I do, but it really doesn't matter at this point. Sounds as though you've learned the art of making lemonade from lemons. You really do sound so "bright".

Life may have been bitter, but it was also sweet. My husband has always been supportive (when he wasn't having a meltdown) faithfull 100% always, protective, and a seeker of truth. He taught our 6 kids history, politics, economics, intelligent debate and the art of arguement ( as in debate). Provided a moral standard, work ethic, self sufficiency, problem solving. He is an electrician, artist, writer, inventor, musician. Together we managed to produce a photographer, composer of 16th century style sacred music/teacher of gregorian chant, two graphite portrait artists, a soprano, a tenor, a baritone singer. Website designer, engineer, builder/designer, business entrepeneur, farmer, and those married homeschool their own kids, just as we did. Most of the kids have more than one skill. NOh WAY was I smart enough or talented enough to make any of the above happen. Together hubby and I worked to create a home environment that allowed for developing talents. God gave them gifts. We did not.

Why tell the above? Certainly not to boast, because as I've said, no way can I make those things happen. And certainly I can't provide the talent and the level of skill needed to master those arts. I mention all the above to outline what my life was filled with BEFORE stroke. AFTER stroke my most thrilling accomplishments were buttoning my shirt, doing the ties on my shoes, putting my hair in a pony tail. My joy now is rocking my grandkids (14 of them), listening to them prattle, watching them draw and paint, play organ and piano. I still have life to live, thank God, but it's not at all what I imagined for my golden years. How about you? We're you prepared? Or foresee trouble down the road? I don't whine about it...does no good...and is annoying. My participationin life now is according to abilities on any given day. Life has been greatly simplified, that's for sure, which isn't all bad, lol. But, when you've spent your life working hard and producing...don't care if it's only raising animals, growing your own food, canning, or refinishing furniture...and you're reduced to relying on others, and just doing little things, it takes much mental adjustment, don't you think?

Thank you for your kind note. Again, my letter sounds like I'm tooting my horn. My kids got in trouble, caused heartache and disappointment, like most kids, but life was just so colorful and rich. My lesson to be learned is to explore the little noticed riches in life. To appreciate that which I may not have properly appreciated. My kids stepped up and took care of me, which is to be valued much more than a special skill. My husband will go to any lengths to see I get what I need. And each day, to wake up to another day and another chance to be a better me is a priceless gift. I want to be properly grateful and learn to look ahead instead of brooding over what is no longer. Really. Mental ruts are torture. You sound like you are excited and thrilled to share with others your excitement and pleasure of life.So very happy for you! God bless you! JMJ

@jmjlove
I came to this group today for the first time because I had a second brain event thursday. I have been reading since I got here.
Oh Darling, I am sitting here weeping after reading your struggle to find yourself after this earth and life shattering event.
I am crying for you and for me. I am struggling to breathe right now. I am an empath and didn't have my shield up. Ok I am back to myself now.
The depth of your pain is so deep, rarely have I experienced much this in others but I recognize it because that is how deep my own pain WAS because of extreme childhood abuse.
I was also crying because you stated my deepest fears. To lose my life as I know it because of a stroke after all the work of changing the effects of the events of my childhood and taking back my life completely would destroy me or that is my fear anyway.
However, I am a 68 year old woman who choses to be in control of her life. I do it well too. I teach others how to take back their lives also. I think I am going to start a new group titled TAKE YOUR LIFE BACK. Yes, but not today.
I have been on a 33 year journey to erase EVERY EFFECT of my abuse and last year I finished that journey. I mention this because I remember what helped and teach all those skills to others.
I invite you to click on my name and look for a recent post speaking about I AM THE GRACEFUL LIGHT.
I use that when I am feeling my worst, which has been often lately cuz of a multiple sclerosis relapse and other things happening in my life.
When I am the Graceful Light, I stand straighter and do not fall as much because I glide, not walk.
Anyways, for what it is worth, I am with you, sending much caring your way. I am also sending a tiny rainbow. That is yours to keep forever. It has sticky on the back of it so I hope you put it on your sleeve so you can see it move with you. It will give you light. You need that right now.
I invite you to draw a rainbow, post it on the wall in front of you and look at it often. It WILL bring you happiness often and you will get many dumps of good brain chemicals that will bighten your mood. I promise...
.
Bright Wings, stick with me baby cuz we are both going to feel better.

Thanks for your reply, but I’m a guy though. lol

@narciso
Hello, you have had this event just 2 months ago. The one word I have for you is patience. The brain heals so slowly.
I had a full on stroke Nov of '17. The drag your foot to the door, left hand clenched, drooling kind of stroke.
Today, I look agile. No one would know I ever had a stroke.
Patience. I remember God giving me that answer to a different question I was asking...I roared at God, what this again????
I have learned patience since then....
So why patience, the brain recovers slowly, very slowly. Oh did I mention slowly? Nothing is going to rush this process.
Yes, you will go to see your granddaughter graduate. It's by having little goals you get thru this and past this. Hang on girl and keep coming back.
We are all in this together. Bright Wings

I had my stroke August of 2018. Had lots of balance issues and still work at it daily. It is getting better, in fact I would say I’m at 95% normal now. It take time and lots of work, Brightwings is right, you have to be patient give it time and be fearless in recovery! Question everything, learn as much as you can about stroke and what works best for your recovery, everyone responds differently to different types of exercises.

Praying for good results for you, @merpreb. Last week, I had my EGD for carcinoid tumors and all was good! Wishing the same for you!