It’s 3:42 am and counting this is when I feel the most isolated at this time in the early am when I wake up the find it difficult to go back to sleep. I am thinking about my life before cancer. I was more carefree. Now I worry about the cancer coming back. I am on surveillance. I am carefree no more. My life has changed. I have changed I don’t know who I will become but I am different now more wary and cautious about everything and everyone.