Bipolar will anyone talk to me about it

Right now I have a terrible case of depression. Usually comes about twice a year around the same time. I've added medications and they've helped each time but I don't know what to do now. Add another medication. I now have to take a medication for my thyroid and also a blood pressure pill. I have nothing to look forward to. My two daughters will not talk to me and it's been many many years. I never see my three grandchildren. I never did anything to upset them unless it's all in their head. I never yell at them. I give them everything they want. My son has bipolar but it shows up differently than mine. He doesn't get the depression. He gets a lot of rage and anger and anxiety, especially we live together. We only have each other and it's and I am 76 years old and to me being that old I don't even want to try anymore. I think I might reach out to the help groups that someone mentioned earlier. Whoever is suffering. I hope you get a remission soon and have backup plans for when you you may fall into a depression in the future. I have a wonderful doctor. I've been with him for 40 years. My son doesn't understand why I get depressed. He thinks it's something he did. I told him or or most people think. What are you depressed about and I tell them it's not the same thing as sadness. It's more of a physical thing that also affects the brain so I can only hope that my next visit with the doctor will give me some other medication and hopefully I can drop some of the medications. I really need some group who is similar to me to relate to. Hopefully someone in this forum will communicate with me. I hope we can communicate privately so I don't have to go through the website. Hoping for a better future for all of you

@spreels2

24 Feb. 2026
Elaine,
I am the person who wrote to you briefly about my 44-year old son with bipolar 1 disorder on Feb. 19. You asked that some of the participants on Connect explain to you what is going on with your son. When my son was first diagnosed, at the age of 14, I began to read up about bipolar disorder from reliable sources. I also attended a lot of support group meetings during the initial years. Some of those meetings were for patients, and some were for family members and friends of people with bipolar disorder. It is possible to learn a lot from the experience of others, whether they are patients, or family members. You said your son refuses to take medication. Does he even see a psychiatrist and/or a therapist? If he does, it might be helpful if he would sign a release, so that you could talk to his psychiatrist and/or his therapist. That would allow you to ask questions about what you observe in your son's behavior and changes in mood. Of course, I realize that many adult patients are not willing to sign a release so that the doctor can speak to family members about the course of illness, and the recommended treatment.

You mentioned that your sone sometimes exhibits rage, and that his mood changes suddenly. Rage can be a component of both mania and depression. A person who is manic is also often quite irritable. My son's doctor told me many years ago that the worst thing a loved one can say to a person who is manic is "No". What he meant is that, if the manic person is showing poor judgement, or making unreasonable plans, a good approach might be to first acknowledge why the manic person might think he/she has wonderful, sensible ideas, but then try to gently point out that those ideas or plans might have some negative consequences. When the mania is quite strong, it would not be reasonable to think that you can talk the person into seeing things from your point of view. To the manic person, those ideas seem to be very sensible, and outstanding. A manic person often things that he/she has come spectacular insights that other people do not have. In other words, the manic person can think that he/she has things all figured out, and it is others who do not have the insight or the "genius" to understand the new, high-flying ideas. Until the mania starts to subside, it is difficult for another person to prove to the manic person that some of the new ideas could be problematic.

Rage and irritability can also go along with depression. It is important to try to understand this, when talking to a person who is suffering from depression. It is not helpful if the person who is trying to help also becomes angry. When my son is depressed, and discouraged, I often remind him that he will not always feel that way. I remind him that he has been depressed before, and that the depression will eventually lift., and that he will not feel so horrible forever.

I am very fortunate in that my son is a compliant patient, and follows the recommendations of his psychiatrist and his therapist. He understands that the medications can help him. He also contacts his professional team right away if he notices warning signs that his mood is changing, and he and his doctor work together to adjust his medication. You did not mention how old your son is. I have never had compliance issues with my son, but I know that can be very difficult for the family members of those who refuse to take medication. Maybe you could point out to your son that surely taking some medication could not be any worse that using street drugs and alcohol to try to "self medicate". Since the medication would be prescribed by a psychiatrist, and your son's condition would be monitored by his doctor, the consequences could not be as bad as the consequences of becoming addicted to street drugs, or to alcohol. That might give him something to think about. I know it is an enormous challenge, when a patient refuses to take medication that could be helpful. I wish you the best as you try to encourage your son to get treatment, and to agree to try medication to handle his mood disorder.
Connie

@spreels2
Remission, does that mean you are becoming cured?

@SusanEllen66
Wondering that too. Is it possible?

@kathymj I don’t think so, but I am not a doctor.

@conniey Thanks for all of this. I received a bipolar II diagnosis at the advanced age of 59. It essentially explained my whole life and the cyclical depressions that have always been a prominent feature. It only happened after a very near miss landed me in the hospital.

And thanks for discussing the rages. I had already been on an antidepressant prescribed by my general physician for severe depression. As it turned out, I had been experiencing an uncommon but known reaction where it amplified my symptoms rather than easing them. I was actually the one who figured this out. My psychiatrist knew it could happen but had never seen it before, so she missed it (I harbor no resentfulness for this, she went with standard treatment, and she told me she's now using my case as a reference so that she can be better alert to it if she sees it again).

The temper explosions were off the charts, and nearly cost me my marriage of now 30 years. And yeah, my wife getting mad at me only escalated things. She didn't know what was going on any better than I did, and I felt that her getting mad was absolutely over the line, even though I was screaming and throwing stuff. I didn't see my behavior as unacceptable. Not in the least. I'm really thankful in the aftermath that she didn't leave me. She certainly had more than ample cause.

I've been incredibly fortunate. I rage quit the antidepressant in an effort at self-harm figuring I'd get even worse and fully wanting to, and instead began thinking more clearly within a matter of days. That's when I found the study that I took to my psychiatrist and told her, "This is a point-by-point description of my last few years." She was skeptical when I went in, but pretty well convinced within 30 minutes because my entire demeanor had visibly and dramatically shifted.

There's still the lifetime of depression, going back to grade school, and a diagnosis that, again, I think she was dead on about. She put me on Lamictal, which has been a lifesaver. I just this week marked two years of being off the antidepressant and on that one and have not had a single thought of self-harm since. That's down from every single day. And not one rage explosion, down from almost weekly. I feel like a whole different human being.

I was in her office yesterday and told her I do not want to change a single thing. It's working too well.

So there can be hope. No drug is a miracle drug for everyone, psychiatry is the most difficult of all medical fields. But losing that rage saved my marriage and getting the depression under control saved my life. I wouldn't be here right now without her trying something new. I can say this in absolute confidence. Don't give up.

@depressedbutnotdead
Hello everyone diagnosed with bipolar disease and carers. I had my first episode of bipolar 1
when I was 14 - severe depression - but I was not diagnosed until I was in my forties, by which time I was married and had 4 children. Life was not easy, and time after time efforts to stabilize me on medication failed, and I had to be admitted to a psychiatric hospital to try a different regime of medications. I am 72 now, and have been stable on the same combination of medications for several years. I have 2 recommendations based on my own experience:
1) Establish and maintain a close working relationship with a psychiatrist you trust. I have been with the same psychiatrist for 20 years, he knows me well, and I can text him any time I am feeling unstable or just want reassurance.
2) Medication alone is not enough. There is no magic pill. You need to find a combination of medication which suits you (everyone is different) AND you need to regularly see a psychologist. A psychologist can help you untangle issues in your life, and teach you techniques to cope better, building on your strengths to help you grow.
For many years I refused to see a psychologist, feeling that I would be over-medicalized, but I have discovered through talk theory that there are ways I can understand my behaviour and work on leading a stable and fulfilling life.
I am writing from Melbourne, Australia. Under our health system, we can access a Mental Health Plan from our GP, which allows us 10 sessions with a psychologist at very little or no cost. Ask your treating doctor if the same sort of thing is available in your country.
There are many support groups in every country for people living with mental illness, and there are also support groups for CARERS of people with mental health issues. It is well worthwhile to try some of these groups, because they can give you support, understanding
and reassure you that you are not alone, there are many people out there you can talk to when times are rough. Your treating doctor should be able to give you details of groups in your area.
Very best wishes to you all, @ellu

@ellu I should have mentioned that I've been in therapy for quite some time now, and yes to all you said. The medication switch made all the difference in the world, but therapy is the anchor.

my brother was a junkie , I wondered as mum did if he was doing drugs n such to drown the possibility of autism ( mum and my daughter were both diagnosed) and lately I have wondered about bipolar as well , both parents were bipolar I have recently been formerly diagnosed ( age 65 ) by the first psychiatrist I have seen. The manic ( i call them hyper ) sessions I can handle , its the main time I get things done, the depression is a whole other issue WOW. my psych wants me on drugs , but I worry about my liver I also have non alcoholic fatty liver so if it suddenly starts getting sick because of the drugs its i nightmare to get off the drugs.