Boyfriend is bipolar, wondering if these behaviors are common?

One source for you to consider is the book The Burden of Sympathy: How Families Cope with Mental Illness by David A. Karp (Oxford University Press). I found the book to be very helpful in putting a framework around being a family member or friend to a loved one with mental illness and the difficulty negotiating an "appropriate" level of involvement with the mentally ill loved one while maintaining enough distance for personal health. Set out below are some excerpts that may be useful:

As difficult as it is to manage emotions in caring for a physically ill person, efforts to negotiate appropriate emotions are still more arduous in dealing with a mentally ill person. Since shared moods and feelings are necessary for the maintenance of social life, mentally ill people especially disrupt family life because they suffer from an “affective” disorder. The diagnoses of depression or manic-depression (bipolar) are partly defined by a person’s inability to feel “correct” emotions.

While their sickness might dramatically disrupt the logistical routines of everyday family life, physically ill people are ordinarily deeply invested in getting well and returning to their presickness social roles. In contrast, mentally ill persons, virtually by definition, cannot abide by the usual rules of social settings and behave in socially unacceptable ways. Sometimes they deny that they are ill, and frequently treat their caregivers with hostility instead of gratitude.

Further, if ordinary social interaction requires the ability of persons to see the world from each other’s perspectives, efforts at meaningful communication with the mentally ill are typically short-circuited. After all, they have been identified as mentally ill because they have feelings and thoughts that are incomprehensible to “healthy” persons.

In this way, mentally ill people threaten both the concrete routines of daily life and, more significantly, the implicit symbolic order on which such routines are premised. Their behaviors are especially disturbing because they upset the most sacred of all social things – the coherency of everyday life.

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It's very difficult to understand bipolar unless you have it. I have bipolar 1. My relationships In my life are such work to maintain. My husband does not understand and I think it's frustrating for both of us

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Hi there. I think the disease affects people in different ways. I have bipolar disorder and was still really new to the disease when I got married. My mood swings put such a strain on the relationship that 6 years of dating turning into about a year and a half of marriage. I had times where I acted irrationally and lashed out at my wife and my family. If you can tell when your boyfriend is agitated or on the high end of his mood, I would suggest trying to keep the peace and don't try to win any arguements. I also found medication to be VERY important for me, so if he allows you, support him to find the combination that is going to stabilize his mood the best. Above all else, try your best to ignore his crap when he's not well. Speaking from experience, I was never myself at the high or low ends and none of the stuff I said or did was rational.

Jump to this post

Hi there. I think the disease affects people in different ways. I have bipolar disorder and was still really new to the disease when I got married. My mood swings put such a strain on the relationship that 6 years of dating turning into about a year and a half of marriage. I had times where I acted irrationally and lashed out at my wife and my family. If you can tell when your boyfriend is agitated or on the high end of his mood, I would suggest trying to keep the peace and don't try to win any arguements. I also found medication to be VERY important for me, so if he allows you, support him to find the combination that is going to stabilize his mood the best. Above all else, try your best to ignore his crap when he's not well. Speaking from experience, I was never myself at the high or low ends and none of the stuff I said or did was rational.

Jump to this post

Hi there. I think the disease affects people in different ways. I have bipolar disorder and was still really new to the disease when I got married. My mood swings put such a strain on the relationship that 6 years of dating turning into about a year and a half of marriage. I had times where I acted irrationally and lashed out at my wife and my family. If you can tell when your boyfriend is agitated or on the high end of his mood, I would suggest trying to keep the peace and don't try to win any arguements. I also found medication to be VERY important for me, so if he allows you, support him to find the combination that is going to stabilize his mood the best. Above all else, try your best to ignore his crap when he's not well. Speaking from experience, I was never myself at the high or low ends and none of the stuff I said or did was rational.

Jump to this post

Hi there. I think the disease affects people in different ways. I have bipolar disorder and was still really new to the disease when I got married. My mood swings put such a strain on the relationship that 6 years of dating turning into about a year and a half of marriage. I had times where I acted irrationally and lashed out at my wife and my family. If you can tell when your boyfriend is agitated or on the high end of his mood, I would suggest trying to keep the peace and don't try to win any arguements. I also found medication to be VERY important for me, so if he allows you, support him to find the combination that is going to stabilize his mood the best. Above all else, try your best to ignore his crap when he's not well. Speaking from experience, I was never myself at the high or low ends and none of the stuff I said or did was rational.

Jump to this post

Hi there. I think the disease affects people in different ways. I have bipolar disorder and was still really new to the disease when I got married. My mood swings put such a strain on the relationship that 6 years of dating turning into about a year and a half of marriage. I had times where I acted irrationally and lashed out at my wife and my family. If you can tell when your boyfriend is agitated or on the high end of his mood, I would suggest trying to keep the peace and don't try to win any arguements. I also found medication to be VERY important for me, so if he allows you, support him to find the combination that is going to stabilize his mood the best. Above all else, try your best to ignore his crap when he's not well. Speaking from experience, I was never myself at the high or low ends and none of the stuff I said or did was rational.

Jump to this post

Hi there. I think the disease affects people in different ways. I have bipolar disorder and was still really new to the disease when I got married. My mood swings put such a strain on the relationship that 6 years of dating turning into about a year and a half of marriage. I had times where I acted irrationally and lashed out at my wife and my family. If you can tell when your boyfriend is agitated or on the high end of his mood, I would suggest trying to keep the peace and don't try to win any arguements. I also found medication to be VERY important for me, so if he allows you, support him to find the combination that is going to stabilize his mood the best. Above all else, try your best to ignore his crap when he's not well. Speaking from experience, I was never myself at the high or low ends and none of the stuff I said or did was rational.

Jump to this post

Hi there. I think the disease affects people in different ways. I have bipolar disorder and was still really new to the disease when I got married. My mood swings put such a strain on the relationship that 6 years of dating turning into about a year and a half of marriage. I had times where I acted irrationally and lashed out at my wife and my family. If you can tell when your boyfriend is agitated or on the high end of his mood, I would suggest trying to keep the peace and don't try to win any arguements. I also found medication to be VERY important for me, so if he allows you, support him to find the combination that is going to stabilize his mood the best. Above all else, try your best to ignore his crap when he's not well. Speaking from experience, I was never myself at the high or low ends and none of the stuff I said or did was rational.

Jump to this post