Best way to conceal Incontinence Products at work?

Posted by jayhall @jayhall, Jun 30 2:10pm

I work in a large building and we have two large central bathrooms. We don't have any private bathrooms anywhere and we have no lockable private bathrooms. Occasionally my leakage gets to the point that I need a thin pad. I have a cache of thin pads locked in my one and only private cabinets. I have a small cloth bag that I put my pads in along with some " Dude wipes", etc. Almost every time I have leakage and I go to put a pad in either on the way to the bathroom or on my way out someone notices my little bag and either gives me a look, or worse asks me what's in the bag. I usually tell them "personal items" and walk away. I'm getting tired of being asked etc. I can't take my backpack in there cause that would be even worse. I don't have a Murse or man bag. I thought the little cloth bag would not be noticed but apparently I'm the topic of some conversations about what's in my little cloth bag. If you take pads, etc to work how do you transport them to the bathroom? I can not put one in my underwear in my office. I have a huge glass door. I also don't want to put one in my underwear everyday and waste them. Suggestions?

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Profile picture for daveys @daveys

I don't understand the angst. Just say "something to help with the side effects of prostate cancer treatments". What's the big deal?

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@daveys
If person still works it is a big deal - he might loose his job because his management might not want to deal with future absences and paying for sick days etc. It is not unusual for workers to get pink slip in the USA when they get sick.

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Profile picture for surftohealth88 @surftohealth88

@soli
Hi Soli ,
Final pathology was 4+5 with large cribriform and IDC. Decipher 1. Tumor burden was very small, I think just 10% of the whole gland but enough to cause havoc. He had uni-focal EPE on the area of 3+3 and inconclusive margin in area of 4. Margin was very small, 1 mm I think and burned by cauter and that is why it was inconclusive. BUT, since his recurrence is in lymph nodes, my suspicion is that cancer was already there even before RP , especially since one of the glands that is now definitely involved was faintly positive before the surgery, but was dismissed as "not positive" by UCSF doctors since SUV was small.

Since he is high risk case we had consultations with RO and MO and surgeon very soon after surgery and we were advised to wait for the first uPSA and go from there. Since uPSA came LESS than 0.014 , we were advised not to do adjuvant due to high risk of toxicity etc. , but option for adjuvant was open for us. I think that you had second opinion at UCLA and you got the same advice - to wait. Most doctors advise that because it is very small difference in results between adjuvant and early salvage.

We decided to wait but we did uPSA every month (on our own dime) to be able to catch early recurrence and act accordingly and it proved to be very smart move. My husband started having small rises every month and by March it started doubling at uPSA levels which are dismissed by many doctors - DO NOT DISMISS them ! We asked for PSMA when my husband reached about uPSA of 0.15 and since we did not want to miss that magical 0.2 for starting early salvage !!! The wait for PSMA was about 4 weeks and I sad NO WAY we will wait for that and we did PSMA in local hospital and started Orgovyx the next day.

PSMA came back positive for 4 nodes with very small SUV but obviously positive. So, it is no truth that low PSA will not show up on PSMA and also salvage starts at 0.2 regardless of if something is seen or not.

Due to high risk features my husband was advised to have whole pelvic floor and glands treated and also second ADT is added - Nubeqa. We had to insist to get Orgovyx and Nubeqa, so you have to voice your preference, otherwise it will be Lupron + Abiraterone. He will be on ADT 18- 24 mos.

I hope that I answered to all of your questions and please feel free to ask if you have additional ones.

Wishing you ZERO BCR in your future 🍀

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@surftohealth88

Thanks @surftohealth88 for taking the time to answer all my questions. It’s clear that you and your husband stayed on top of things as the recurrence developed and acted quickly by starting treatment early. It’s also obvious that you’ve done your own research and have become strong advocates for making informed decisions about which hormone therapies to use and which ones to avoid. Those are great lessons for all of us who may one day face a similar situation.

I wish your husband every success with his treatment and a smooth recovery.

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Profile picture for surftohealth88 @surftohealth88

@daveys
If person still works it is a big deal - he might loose his job because his management might not want to deal with future absences and paying for sick days etc. It is not unusual for workers to get pink slip in the USA when they get sick.

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@surftohealth88 Wouldn't such be illegal and employer would be liable for wrongful termination and workplace retaliation?

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Profile picture for daveys @daveys

@surftohealth88 Wouldn't such be illegal and employer would be liable for wrongful termination and workplace retaliation?

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@daveys
It would but who can prove that illness was the cause of job termination ? Employers wait for "next quarter" when there are some other "terminations" and lump it all together as "downsizing" . It happened to my husband 20 years ago. Also, our family friend who is in managerial position was ordered to let go a person after that person naively disclosed to coworkers that he has cancer. Our friend was distraught and constantly repeated "I will end up in hell" but was powerless. We have member here who got a "package" 3 months post surgery , etc etc. It happens all the time, unfortunately.

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Profile picture for surftohealth88 @surftohealth88

@daveys
If person still works it is a big deal - he might loose his job because his management might not want to deal with future absences and paying for sick days etc. It is not unusual for workers to get pink slip in the USA when they get sick.

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@surftohealth88
Not true, highly unusual although it can happen, but usually involves additional circumstances.

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Profile picture for wheel1 @wheel1

@surftohealth88
Not true, highly unusual although it can happen, but usually involves additional circumstances.

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@wheel1

I already listed examples about which I know personally. And I have many more but it is waste of time , honestly.
My sister lost a job after she took a leave of 4 weeks for hand rehabilitation. Previous 5 years in a row she was nominated for "best worker" award in her department. I can continue on and on.
"Additional circumstances" - sure 🙄 ... *sigh

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Profile picture for surftohealth88 @surftohealth88

@wheel1

I already listed examples about which I know personally. And I have many more but it is waste of time , honestly.
My sister lost a job after she took a leave of 4 weeks for hand rehabilitation. Previous 5 years in a row she was nominated for "best worker" award in her department. I can continue on and on.
"Additional circumstances" - sure 🙄 ... *sigh

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In reply to @wheel1 "Not true" + (show)
Profile picture for wheel1 @wheel1

@wheel1 I disagree . It happens all the time in corporate world. Spent 40 yrs there. I agree with surf. Especially the age group involved. You are dispensable. It wont be because you have prostate cancer or your age. Any form of prejudice is illegal. It will be a passed over promotion. or a slight downward tick in your performance review or moved to a job that makes performance impossible. You can have the best boss in the world and suddenly you get a new one. Not saying it will happen but it happens. Its how they deal with healthy attrition.

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Profile picture for tuckerp @tuckerp

@wheel1 I disagree . It happens all the time in corporate world. Spent 40 yrs there. I agree with surf. Especially the age group involved. You are dispensable. It wont be because you have prostate cancer or your age. Any form of prejudice is illegal. It will be a passed over promotion. or a slight downward tick in your performance review or moved to a job that makes performance impossible. You can have the best boss in the world and suddenly you get a new one. Not saying it will happen but it happens. Its how they deal with healthy attrition.

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@tuckerp
Also high up in corporate world, not saying it does not happen on occasions, certainly bosses let go of people they don’t get along with too. When someone loses their job they always never accept it the reason. You have 25% of the really hard workers, 50% of good workers doing their job and 25% that get by. Now in that 25% like all parts you could break that group down again and they all have the same medical infirmaries as people in the other groups, so if their is a cutback and that group gets cut as any of the groups, their will be cancers and everything else. That certainly is a good argument to support seniority, last in first out, but then the long time workers that are slackers are protected. I am just saying as a general statement that is not true.

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