Backup for the Caregiver

This is so true. I cannot imagine my spouse dying the way Gene Hackmen did. Good food for thought . Well written . Thank you

@tsr Welcome to Mayo Clinic Connect. I see you have been here for several years as a member, but this is your first post. What prompted you to post this? Are you in a caregiver situation, or know of people close to you that are?

My husband and I know that our neighbors nearby would be helpful in a caregiver backup situation if the need arises.
Ginger

Yes, I've been a member of the Mayo Clinic Connect for a few years; my husband has Parkinson's but recently his condition has deteriorated quickly. I'm actively working now to expand his care providers. I was made aware of a free app (trytendercare.com) that was developed by the author of the article I referenced; the app is quite useful and focuses on the Caregiver. It helps organize, store and retrieve all sorts of information, in addition to caregiver care. Her article made me realize that the few backup caregivers in my current circle are insufficient; for my husband's sake and mine, I need to grow that circle.

I agree it is very concerning and it is my biggest fear. I too am a caregiver for my husband who also has Parkinsons. He has had Parkinsons for 10 + years and 4 years ago he lost the use of his legs and now is wheelchair bound. I am going to look into trytendercare i have never heard of it.
I agree it is just tragic and so sad how Mr . Hackman, his wife and dog passed.

Thank you for posting this article. The Hackman-Arakawa situation is indeed tragic. Particularly because they likely could have been able to afford a fail-safe caretaker who would have stepped in immediately after Ms. Arakawa passed. I am referring to a Geriatric Care Manager or “GCM.” If money is a factor, a GCM can be engaged on a short-term basis to help you develop a care plan for your loved one or “LO” in the event you are unavailable. Or a GCM can literally step in your shoes and take over ALL care from filling pill boxes, taking your LO to doctors and coordinating their care, hiring home health aides….the list goes on and on.

You can find a GCM in your area by going to the website of the GCM umbrella organization, Aging Life Care Association and searching for a GCM by zip code and proximity to your LO using the search tool in the upper right hand corner. https://www.aginglifecare.org/

We first engaged a GCM in 2004 for my father-in-law (“FIL) who was in the early stages of vascular dementia. My husband and all of my FIL’s other children lived out-of-state. But with his GCM’s help, he was able to stay in his home for 5 years until he moved to a Memory Care unit for the last year of his life. This past October, I engaged a GCM for me and my husband because we both have a range of chronic medical conditions, no children….and no family nearby. I chose a local agency whose GCMs on staff were an equal mix of nurses and social workers so that if our assigned GCM was unavailable for whatever reason, someone else could immediately step into her shoes. And I engaged a GCM now before a crisis arose so that she would know us, have a Healthcare POA and be fully aware of our medical and social histories. If you or anyone would like more information on how a GCM can help you, the 30-minute interview on the home page of our agency, https://www.peaceagingcare.com/ is an excellent introduction.

Thank you for posting this issue. I was wondering if someone would, I should have, but I didn't have any good answers.

I think the issue is that you don't think it will happen to you. Unfortunately it happens when you least expect it. I'm sure Betsy 30 years younger never thought she'd die before Gene.

Why do Alzheimer’s patients appear more “normal” to visitors? And then return to their cognitive decline state when it’s just the two for us. People don’t really see what I see.