Ashamed: I think about (and plan for) dying. Do you?

Yes, it’s a wake-up call. We know we all will die, but not “now”. My husband and I have made final arrangements, made sure all our financial accts have beneficiaries, and just saw a lawyer today to finalize our documents. But we don't plan on dying any time soon. Just now know everything is in order.

Hi Lisa, @lls80000,

When I read your post, I immediately thought of one friend who has emotionally distanced himself since my diagnosis. His wife, father, and mother all died of lung cancer. I know he mentally knows better, but when he looks at me, I can see the concern that he's going to lose someone else in his life to this disease. You're absolutely right that some of our friends and family are already grieving the future loss. One of my brothers also looks at me like I'm already dead.

For those who haven't found him yet, Matt Mewhorter is a certified therapist, cartoonist, and cancer survivor. He created the Cancer Owl when he was going through treatments. I use his cartoons, with his permission, in my presentations. Here's the one that's relevant to this thread: https://www.mattmewhorter.com/cancer-owl/dead.

Lisa, maybe you can answer a separate question I've had for a while. I see an "Add Photos/Files (optional)" box below this square I'm typing in, but I've never gotten it to work. I've also never seen an attached photo or file in a post. Does the option work? Is there something I'm missing?

Mathew, I can answer the question about adding photos and files.
1. Click "Add Photo/Files
2. Click to upload a photo or file from your device.
File types allowed pptx, jpg, jpeg, jpe, png, gif, mp3, m4a, m4b, pdf, They must be less than 5 MB.

YouTube videos can also be added and will play within your message. See more tips in the Help Center https://connect.mayoclinic.org/help-center/ or write to me here: https://connect.mayoclinic.org/contact-a-community-moderator/

Back to the topic at hand: thanks for the introduction to Matt Mewhorter and the Cancer Owl. Humor can be so helpful at getting to the core of tough topics with friends and family.

Metthew, have you been able to talk with your brother or others about their fears of losing you? Do you bring the focus back to living life now?

I do. I share achievements resulting from my work here at NASA. My wife and I bought a new house two years ago (How's that for confidence in the future?!), and I share pictures and stories from our gardens. The friend is the hard one. I haven't gotten him to open up about his fears. I'm giving him time while periodically reminding him I'm still living. As time passes, that friend's wife is back to treating me normally, but I think that friend has a deep sense of loss since his father's passing.

I've also been accepted into the CDMRP civilian reviewer program and the IASLC STARS PRA program. I share my excitement about being able to do what I can to prevent others from having to go through what I've been through.

Thanks for the photo tip. I probably failed before because of the size. I get used to our 10 MB limit here at NASA and sometimes forget not every system supports that size. I appreciate the quick feedback.