Ashamed: I think about (and plan for) dying. Do you?

My Mom did the same, even making a list of prized possessions and who would get each one, as well as listing her music, presider, etc for the funeral. The funeral director was in awe - he said he never saw a large family so much in agreement about how everything was handled.

My friend just passed after less than 3 weeks in hospice, but as soon as he made the decision, he and his wife called their kids together and did all the planning the very first weekend. This not only included planning his funeral, but also his final care, at home. He also asked to see his sister, brother-in-law and nieces to say good-bye in person, and a few close friends. Then he went on to address other things he was concerned about - who would get his extensive collection of tools, making sure there was a plan to help his wife continue to spend her winters down South, etc.
These first weeks since his death have been much easier for the family, knowing everything was done "how Dad wants it."

This is a wonderful gift to loved ones.
Sue

I have my funeral planned. Pallbearers, servers, reader, musician , soloist, songs, and readings. Took me weeks but love everything I picked out. My mother had her’s planned for us and really made it easy. Siblings are happy as I gave a copy to one. Feel no guilt.

@IndianaScott Your last two lines say it all. @tahoerox99 There is a lot of wisdom in Scott's post.

I was involved in probate court proceedings and saw how families can be left with no clear idea what direction to take, what to do. If a person has specifics, having things down in writing will make the grieving process easier. And in my father's case, he had things expressed, in writing, but some were not as detailed as he was wont to do, which left interpretations by family members. Those interpretations were not always the same!

We do not always have the opportunity to pick our "expiration date", but we do have the choice to be prepared.
Ginger

Hello @tahoerox99 I read your post with interest. Thankfully my wife and I did our final arrangements planning while she was still mentally able. It may not be for everyone, but here’s what we did.

We started with our medical decisions — HIPPA, DNRs, etc. Then we moved on to our basic final arrangement desires, leaving the who, when, etc. to the survivor. So we did things like wanting cremation, a celebration of life (no funeral), etc. She even picked her songs, eulogists, music, where to spread her ashes, etc. without worrying about what company would do it. She then gave several meaningful gifts to family and friends while she was alive and could share their meaning and stories with each recipient. Then we did the legal stuff — wills, marital trust, estate plans, POAs, and durable medical POAs.

It was hard, especially to start, but incredibly valuable to her, me, and our children.

Strength, Courage, & Peace

I too worry about final preperations. I cannot figure out what to do first. I just as you am looking for some answers. Reaching out to several services. Sometimes frustrated about them never getting back to me. Not having the energy to do any of it. Worried about my kids being sad after I go. I have lung cancer and wear oxgyen. I can't cry because it is hard to breath. I am angry at my husband for his lack of caring. I don't think that is going well at all. Sorry but wanted you to know your not alone. Look up a site called "MyLungCancerteam" Lots of info and support. They at least listen. Good Luck.. If I figure any of this out I will let you know. Or just let it all go!! Bless you!

In dreams I have seen myself being in my glorified body that Jesus will provide me when mortality puts on immortality (because I have chosen Him for my prize now and in the life eternal that is to come later on).

FYI: when one passes away their spirit departs from their body to where they have no awareness of being in a coffin.

Do you have life insurance? Whether or not you do, a friendly suggestion is to think about eternal life insurance. If you don’t already have it, Jesus offers it for free (paid in full) but just requires we accept it and Him. 😇

Yes. I see your post. Welcome back, Colleen.
Please read recent comments starting here: https://connect.mayoclinic.org/comment/631301/
I look forward to your update.

Think I’m in now!

Hi Colleen, since you were able to post this message, that means you are signed in. I think what you are experiencing is an annoying bug where the a screen pops up over the website telling you to sign in when you're already signed in. This happens to random iPad users. We're still trying to figure out why. For now, simply click the x to get rid of the popup. No need to sign in again.

I hope this helps so that you can write to @tahoerox99 with some encouragement. So great to see you here again.

Can’t get in this new system. Sign in with my Mayo password and doesn’t work but can get in to see test that were just completed? Go figure

Colleen

This I-pad changes words without me knowing!