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Ashamed: I think about (and plan for) dying. Do you?

Lung Cancer | Last Active: Apr 7, 2023 | Replies (196)

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@tahoerox99

I too worry about final preperations. I cannot figure out what to do first. I just as you am looking for some answers. Reaching out to several services. Sometimes frustrated about them never getting back to me. Not having the energy to do any of it. Worried about my kids being sad after I go. I have lung cancer and wear oxgyen. I can't cry because it is hard to breath. I am angry at my husband for his lack of caring. I don't think that is going well at all. Sorry but wanted you to know your not alone. Look up a site called "MyLungCancerteam" Lots of info and support. They at least listen. Good Luck.. If I figure any of this out I will let you know. Or just let it all go!! Bless you!

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Replies to "I too worry about final preperations. I cannot figure out what to do first. I just..."

Hello @tahoerox99 I read your post with interest. Thankfully my wife and I did our final arrangements planning while she was still mentally able. It may not be for everyone, but here’s what we did.

We started with our medical decisions — HIPPA, DNRs, etc. Then we moved on to our basic final arrangement desires, leaving the who, when, etc. to the survivor. So we did things like wanting cremation, a celebration of life (no funeral), etc. She even picked her songs, eulogists, music, where to spread her ashes, etc. without worrying about what company would do it. She then gave several meaningful gifts to family and friends while she was alive and could share their meaning and stories with each recipient. Then we did the legal stuff — wills, marital trust, estate plans, POAs, and durable medical POAs.

It was hard, especially to start, but incredibly valuable to her, me, and our children.

Strength, Courage, & Peace