Anyone have co-executors for their will?

While I know nothing about your situation, every family and in-law’s estates I’ve been involved with have had multiple executors. Mostly two, sometimes three (two family and one unrelated professional. All worked well.

@ead We have co-executors on our paperwork. My husband wanted it that way. While he is named as my executor, the second person is a very good friend and attorney. His thought is that he wants to make sure there are no issues.

Have you spoken to both of your children, to make sure they are comfortable being named as executor or co-executor? And, no matter which way you decide to go, make sure everyone is aware of your decisions, and those who need to, have copies of what you want to do. It will possible save a lot of headache/heartache when the time comes. Been there, done that.
Ginger

It is our second marriage, so we decided to have one of his and one of my kids to be executors. Makes everyone happy, they both work and are in the same state.

I agree with your lawyer. There are multiple reasons to avoid co-executors. If you wish to make it easier on them, appointing two will not help do that. A primary
and alternate are good.

Why not discuss with your children. You might find that one or the other does not wish to be the executor - problem solved.

Thank you all for the feedback. I am Executor for my hubby and vice versa. We were trying to decide if we should go or become incapable at the same time who should be the alternate.

@ead An excellent question. I can only talk from my own experience and issues within my family. Until my mother passed and financial stuff was on the radar, my siblings and I got along well. Yes we had our fights but nothing that destroyed our bond.

Mum made both my father and I co executors as we were both lawyers at the time. My father did all the things and I co signed his decisions. This was because mum’s death caused underlying sibling issues to implode. My siblings were very upset I had been made co executor and didn’t want me making any decisions. Luckily my father was still strong and well and could deal with the unexpected problem.

Dad had made me his single executor in his Will and all was quiet for many decades. When he had a serious health episode some years after mum’s passing my siblings questioned who was executor and who was as getting what under his Will. They speak as if dad’s property is there own and threatened to take him to court if he didn’t change his Will to remove me as executor!!

Again a massive implosion (while Dad was still fine with many years under his belt!) Dad and I were shocked and agreed between us that he would appoint a third party we all agreed to - ending up being a family friend who is a lawyer and would be paid for his work. The crazy thing is now dad is well enough but has undiagnosed dementia they push it onto me to look after his finances etc - pay his bills, identify repairs needed
and organise contractors. Despite being diagnosed with stage 4 appendix cancer and going through extensive treatment then 2 years of recovery.

All I can say is that it depends very much on your family and especially whether 2 would work harmoniously and comparatively together.

Your lawyer is right. My mom passed in the same town my brother and I live, she named us co-executors. I lasted about 3 weeks and took myself off- every meeting has to be attended by both, every piece of paper to be gone over and signed has to be done by both, each step of the probate has to be communicated to both, and things don’t move to the next step without both approval. It was exhausting and time-consuming. I trust my brother implicitly, told the lawyers he was to be
the primary contact and whatever he said was fine with me. They seemed very happy, looks like family fights happen a lot.
I have a different problem, my husband is in AL with dementia. My daughter is a lawyer, lives in an adjoining state, 240 miles away. My son lives 1500 miles away, but has always had jealousy issues with his sister. I’ve named my brother executor and am hoping I go first, but we’re both in our 70’s. I know I’m kicking the can down the road.

My husband and I had a trust. Unhappily he died 3 years ago. That left me the sole trustee. We have two sons. The eldest lives in Asia so it would be extremely awkward to have him as a successor trustee. We discussed the matter with him and he understood and fully agreed. That left the younger son as trustee. Unhappily there was a major estrangement between my son and I. I consulted with my attorney (the same one I worked for for 23 years before retiring at age 67), and she told me he could be replaced. So that is what I did. I now have a fiduciary trustee who will take care of everything when I pass away.

Excellent points. The probate forms are rarely designed for 2 signatures.