Anyone have co-executors for their will?

A clergy person I know said that an parent's impending demise brings out the ghouls who didn't bother with them when they were alive.

My Husband's daughter is one of these. Since his health has been failing she has been trying to get him to change his will in her favor.

@kartwk That’s sad. I would never have thought my siblings would be so disrespectful of my parents wishes or so predatory about my parents’ property. It’s been shocking to watch and I feel sorry for my father in particular. He and I both being lawyers have always been very close. As I was with my mother. I’ve loved spending time with both very much. I still take my father out at least 3 times a week for at least 3 hours each time for a meal, walk and drive and do any errands he needs. My siblings will never get those opportunities back.

I’ve never counted on inheriting so I’ve made sure I’m not reliant on my parents ‘ property. It would be helpful but it has never been part of my retirement plan!

I think that’s where this unpleasantness has come from. They have planned on inheriting and not accumulating themselves what they need to retire let alone retire comfortably. Especially my brother.

They also don’t seem to understand that an executor is legally bound to follow what the Will says. It’s my father’s wishes that count.

They also believe their “needs” now outweigh mine and what’s fair. My parents have always been very strong about treating we 3 kids exactly the same when we were growing up. We all got the same opportunities.

It’s unfortunate that the opportunity for a free lunch can change some people 💔

Stay strong, serious guilt trips will be hurled.
Also suggest now you change the locks on your dad’s house and make sure all the first floor window locks can be fastened. Suggest deadbolts that are programmable, where the code can be changed if needed, rather than locks with keys that can be duplicated. A ring camera doorbell tied to your phone on the front and back doors would be a good idea, too.
My dad’s sisters, who lived in another state, quietly left the funeral early, went to his dad’s house and stripped it of everything carry-able, including photos and pictures off the walls. My dad didn’t speak to the “lead” sister ever again and the “follower” sister for over 10 years. He and my mother had been his dad’s primary caregiver for years, with rare visits by the sisters.
Unbeknownst to the sisters, he had bought the house for his mom and dad in 1945 (they had always been renters) and had paid the taxes and upkeep ever after. What an explosion when they found out there would be no share of the house sale. 🙂

I had something similar to that happen when my Mother had a stroke and was in intensive care fighting for her life. My brother and I, with our spouses, were sitting outside and his wife chimed up that my Mom had promised her beanie baby collection to her daughter (at that time Beanies were all the rage) I was shocked! This while Mom was fighting for her life! It didn't fly by me because I commented to H. about it afterwards, how the SIL was staking her claim and let us know she was concerned we would abscond with them over the state line (we lived in a different state). What a greedy loon! My brother? He just sat there puffing on his cigarette saying nothing but obviously agreeing.

Death tends to bring the greedy ghouls out, as the Pastor told me.

The bottom line is that you don't owe them anything. If you look at the 10 Commandments, there is one that says: Honor thy Father and thy Mother. There is no commandment that says you have to leave anything to your children. That is only in those Edward Jones ads.

We recently changed our Trust/Will to include our daughter as a co-executor or co-trustee. This will give everyone some peace of mind should either myself or my spouse pass, she will then be able to act on our behalf. There are so many important decisions to be made during a time of great grief and just knowing that she will be by our side in helping to make these decisions eases our minds.