Anyone else have a online shopping problem??

Posted by birdielox @birdielox, Dec 30, 2023

Everyone has different experiences with money but for me it it’s in cash I’ll save it for years with or without a goal but the second I get this money online I go crazy I’ll spend it all in one sitting then soon regret it. Different reasons why I regret it, like most people who buy stuff they don’t need. I’m just in a different state of mind when I buy stuff! I did this recently now all feel is great regret as I’m saving up for stuff AND I don’t need or even want some of this stuff!
I want to know anyone eles this way? Anything I can do to help my self? And what’s to worst thing you’ve spent your money on?

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Mental Health Support Group.

@lizziel1

Yes, money burns a hole through my pocket! Not a good thing, since I live on very little being on SSI/retirement.
I didn’t used to be like this. It started gradually after I lost everything through divorce, then worsened as my children left the nest.
My main purchases are stocking up, and “ who can pass up that clearance price “! 😂
I’m getting to the hoarder point, and as much as this distresses me I can’t seem to stop.

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My cousin, who I ended up caring for when she got very sick and later died, had stocked up like crazy on paper products, LYSOL, detergent, sanitizer, etc, and most family members had poked fun at her. THEN, when covid hit, nobody was laughing. I sang praises to that girl every time I pulled those products out from the pantry. We were able to get by pretty well thanks to her preparation. So, if it’s useful products and you have room……

For items you have no practical use for or no room for, have you considered taking photos of them, then donating the item to someone who needs it? My friend has done that. She struggles with letting go of most things.

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@celia16

My cousin, who I ended up caring for when she got very sick and later died, had stocked up like crazy on paper products, LYSOL, detergent, sanitizer, etc, and most family members had poked fun at her. THEN, when covid hit, nobody was laughing. I sang praises to that girl every time I pulled those products out from the pantry. We were able to get by pretty well thanks to her preparation. So, if it’s useful products and you have room……

For items you have no practical use for or no room for, have you considered taking photos of them, then donating the item to someone who needs it? My friend has done that. She struggles with letting go of most things.

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Thanks for your reply. I have heard of the photo taking method. I don’t know, I think I need therapy. Even the things I have managed to get rid of I have regrets over. And when I think of selling or donating , I get great anxiety. 😕

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@lizziel1

Thanks for your reply. I have heard of the photo taking method. I don’t know, I think I need therapy. Even the things I have managed to get rid of I have regrets over. And when I think of selling or donating , I get great anxiety. 😕

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Therapy is a good thing, imo. I’m in therapy for anxiety and it’s really helping. I can’t believe how much it helps. I was very motivated to address my issues. I think you need the right person.

For me, a stark room with few items is very relaxing. A cluttered room packed full of items stresses me. So, I’m always trying to figure away to downsize. If I had a truck, I’d be hauling stuff away every weekend. I guess we all have different sentiments towards stuff.

I do have a couple of old dolls that I have trouble discarding. They belonged to my cousin and aunt. They are not in good shape. Repair is not feasible and donating not appropriate, due to their condition. I have them in a box to go out….but keep leaving them by the door. There’s something about dolls that make it tough.

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Shopping for anything that I do not Need is for me a thing that will feel like a thing sitting on my head...as I'll have to then think about Ho w to get rid of it.

But we do buy often more than what we need; it's shopping addiction.
Like all addictions, I understand it is a behavior that is a 'filler' for a need or want that I feel I do not have filled or Cannot have.
Oftentimes such needs appears when we do not have 'enough' of simple free and easily available pleasures; Think of friends, music, nature/outdoor brisk walks, intellectually Challenging issues, ideas or hobbies, even wonder...of course eating, too for pleasure, not for health so much.
Yes I do buy a $3 lottery ticket once or twice a month but that's an excuse for finding friends whom I'll equally share the pot I promise them!

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@lizziel1

Yes, money burns a hole through my pocket! Not a good thing, since I live on very little being on SSI/retirement.
I didn’t used to be like this. It started gradually after I lost everything through divorce, then worsened as my children left the nest.
My main purchases are stocking up, and “ who can pass up that clearance price “! 😂
I’m getting to the hoarder point, and as much as this distresses me I can’t seem to stop.

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I understand - and recently (over the past year) have used a compassionate virtual "professional organizer" who has written books on organizing, understands and can be a resource (though she quickly, and credibly, points out she is not a mental health provider) to additional considerations (such as Adult ADHD, depression, etc.), she attends many conferences on this subject by the professional organizers' national, credentialed association.

Since she is virtual, she can assist via Zoom no matter where you are physically located. "Clutter" and its many iterations are a physical manifestation of emotional tugs, and she is a calming, reassuring, nonjudgmental resource I genuinely recommend.

Check her out at https://www.organizationrules.com/ (Vickie Dellaquila). If that doesn't fit for some reason, there are others you might find online for virtual organization/decluttering too. She also is just starting online classes for January/February (4-week sessions) that enable you to try out the virtual help with a small project you choose for the course.

Hope this might help in some way! (From a fellow master online-shopper!)

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@walk4life

I used to do a bit too much of amazon shopping -see it, want it buy it. Since retiring i have been trying to be more thoughtful about purchases. One thing i have started to do is add items to my amazon wish list or shopping cart. When i go back online in a few days, i am often able to delete it as i have decided it is not a necessity.

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@walk4life
Good suggestion. Like you, I also put things I'm considering on my wish list and never go back to look at that list. I too sometimes leave stuff in my shopping cart for a few days and usually end up moving those items to "save for later" and never go back to that either. I will leave stuff in my shopping cart more often for a standard waiting period. Easy enough. Much of my previous comment was a little Amazon humor as most everyone I know feels the same way about Amazon convenience. Amazon is great for some hard to find necessities and saves a lot of time and gas when hunting for very specific items so I do appreciate it. Lastly, I've decided this year instead of ordering something for friends when I stumble across something that they may be looking for or need, I'll just send them a snapshot so they can check it out for themselves. Best to you.

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@californiazebra

@walk4life
Good suggestion. Like you, I also put things I'm considering on my wish list and never go back to look at that list. I too sometimes leave stuff in my shopping cart for a few days and usually end up moving those items to "save for later" and never go back to that either. I will leave stuff in my shopping cart more often for a standard waiting period. Easy enough. Much of my previous comment was a little Amazon humor as most everyone I know feels the same way about Amazon convenience. Amazon is great for some hard to find necessities and saves a lot of time and gas when hunting for very specific items so I do appreciate it. Lastly, I've decided this year instead of ordering something for friends when I stumble across something that they may be looking for or need, I'll just send them a snapshot so they can check it out for themselves. Best to you.

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perhaps try Debtor's Anoymous, there's online meetings. one story in the "currency of hope" book, storys, talks about how he HAD to stop shopping sales, his pressure relief group told him, yes he saved money, but overall it ended up spending more, cause of impulse stuff that he didn't need nor want, but that he was overall better off just paying full price for what he needed. my problem is ebay, as for ordering for friends, or sending them pics, maybe...but that sounds like just another part of the spending "buzz" thrill" rush and or feel good that rewards the online shopping, kinda like if I'm a coke addict and trying not to snort, but I see some good stuff hit town for a good price, and let my buddy know..."hey check this out!: LOL ;o)

Lewis

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I understand how you feel, I too, do way to much shopping online. I even give my Amazon driver a tip at Christmas because hes here every day At the beginning of the year I decided to window shop, throw things in carts and then X out. The only thing I've purchased so far is some face wash for my daughter. I have to order it, I don't know of the body shop being near me.

I also decided that any singular item that is over $75
Really needs a conversation with my hubby. Groceries excluded.

I'm just trying to do better, you know?

It feels pretty good at the end of the day to not have spent so much. The worry is a lot less. Bless you on your journey.

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@dragonfly123

perhaps try Debtor's Anoymous, there's online meetings. one story in the "currency of hope" book, storys, talks about how he HAD to stop shopping sales, his pressure relief group told him, yes he saved money, but overall it ended up spending more, cause of impulse stuff that he didn't need nor want, but that he was overall better off just paying full price for what he needed. my problem is ebay, as for ordering for friends, or sending them pics, maybe...but that sounds like just another part of the spending "buzz" thrill" rush and or feel good that rewards the online shopping, kinda like if I'm a coke addict and trying not to snort, but I see some good stuff hit town for a good price, and let my buddy know..."hey check this out!: LOL ;o)

Lewis

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Hmmm. A lot of assumptions in your response. Not in debt, not buying anything I can't afford, not shopping for a thrill. In fact I don't much like shopping which I why I love the convenience of Amazon when I need something in particular. I don't browse for random bargains on Amazon. Not a Black Friday shopper or a TV shopper. I just go on Amazon when I need something in particular that I don't think is at Walmart or Target. I also go on when I need to order a gift for someone out of state, so quick and easy with shipping. When I randomly order something for a friend or family member, it's usually a book that might inspire them such as a daily devotional, but I'm sure they have all the books they need. It's not a spending addition or thrill, just highly convenient and a desire to help those I care about. When this thread popped up on my daily digest, I thought I was just giving a casual and a bit humorous reply on a chit-chatty topic, but I see now this was posted under mental health so perhaps it was a more serious topic than I realized which might explain some of the replies. My mistake that I wasn't paying more attention to the category. Anyway, I'm exiting this conversation, but good luck to everyone. Thank you to those who provided practical Amazon suggestions here. 🙂

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