Anxiety Causing Behavioral Issues I Cannot Control

Posted by SusanEllen66 @SusanEllen66, Sep 1, 2022

High Anxiety! This week has been especially bad. I have found myself crying hysterically about things I know I have control of but I am just out of my mind with fear.
My health, the anniversary of my daughter’s death, and the icing on the cake was when I smashed a sweet baby Gecko with my shoe by mistake. Every time I pass the spot where I killed him I cry and apologize. That will remain with me for a long time.
I try not to take any of the Xanax I have but this week it was necessary. I was really, really out of control. Living alone means there is no one here to talk me down as my panic usually happens at night. My lifeline is my ex husband who knows me too well. He is still my best friend and he can comfort me if I can get a hold of him.
I have neglected the most important one in my life. My Father God. He is always there and I pray, listen to worship music and can finally find peace for the moment.
Anxiety is not reasonable. I can’t control it when it gets out of control. Panic attacks are horrible and embarrassing too. Thanks for listening. Things are going to be better today!

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sears | @sears | Sep 2, 2022

Are you doing better today? Keep us posted.

SusanEllen66 | @SusanEllen66 | Sep 2, 2022

In reply to @sears "Are you doing better today? Keep us posted." + (show)

Thanks for asking. I’m better. At least I can think a bit more clearly and I’m not walking around the house in hysterics!
Any thoughts about doing the simplest of things is causing anxiety. So I decided not doing anything I don’t want to do…😁

jodyinpetaluma | @jodyinpetaluma | Sep 2, 2022

I had anxiety before the diagnosis, so I totally understand. You are allowed to feel whatever you feel. If that means walking in hysterics, that is totally acceptable. You are dealing with trauma on trauma. Cry when you need to , at the store, on the street, get it out. When my mother passed, I cried almost constantly for months. Our grief, for our lost loved ones, for our own worries when dealing with cancer, are acceptable and human.
Cry when you need to. Don't worry what others may think, perhaps a kind person will come and comfort, and sympathize, or if not, that's okay too. (((((((Hugs Hugs Hugs))))))))))

kellytm | @kellytm | Sep 3, 2022

My doctor recommended a great book that I’m working through. It’s called WHEN PANIC ATTACKS by David D. Burns. The first chapter is: I think therefore I fear. I have horrible anxiety, and this is really helping me! Don’t give up- start keeping track of what your mind knows to be true, and what your mind may be telling you is untrue. Call out those lies!