Am I selfish getting puppies while I am in remission?

Posted by isadora2021 @isadora2021, Jul 29 8:45pm

For decades my career was my great love. Absolutely had a ball. I always wanted a dog but knew I couldn’t because of the hours I worked away from home - not fair on a furry friend. I always had a dream of getting 2 puppies when I retired. But stage 4 appendix cancer at 58 wasn’t factored in! I worked from home through aggressive treatments and got to NED in May 2022. On 30 June 2023 with my finances all being in order I decided to retire (or as I like to think of it, to go on permanent vacation), It felt absolutely right. It has been absolutely right.

Yet I’ve put off getting my puppies because in a way I’m waiting for a recurrence.

A year later I’ve had enough of that attitude and am about to get 2 Labradoodle puppies. I’m financially able to have them and also deal with my cancer when it does return - hopefully years from now.

Has anyone else gone through a similar struggle with making decisions like this due to cancer? Putting off going overseas?

How did you deal with those decisions?

Thank you ❣️🙏

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I fully understand where you’re coming from. I have cancelled a few trips in the past. It seems like whenever there is a change in treatment I put off whatever plans we had in fear of the possible side effects. Some days I feel like I shouldn’t plan anything that far ahead, then the mood goes to tomorrow isn’t guaranteed to anyone, whether you are sick or not, so why not! Best wishes on your decisions 🙏

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Definitely get the puppies, if you have the energy to keep up with them. Be sure to make a plan in case something happens (cancer or otherwise) but you should not let the cancer control your life.

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I haven’t been in your situation, but you should do what you want. It sounds like you’ve given it a lot of thought and looked forward to it. I would travel before getting the puppies, though.

Two must be the key, because my brother, who is near your age got one Labradoodle just before Christmas last year and it has given him and his wife a workout! They love the dog, but he’s quite a handful. No rests on Saturday mornings or any morning really. The dog has enormous need for exuberant activities. They both run and he can outrun them easily. Very cute and loving, but extremely time consuming, even with professional trainers. They seem to enjoy being new parents, but admit it’s intense. Lol

Good luck with everything. I’d like a more subdued pet….. perhaps an older Maltipoo.

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@vinnie694

I fully understand where you’re coming from. I have cancelled a few trips in the past. It seems like whenever there is a change in treatment I put off whatever plans we had in fear of the possible side effects. Some days I feel like I shouldn’t plan anything that far ahead, then the mood goes to tomorrow isn’t guaranteed to anyone, whether you are sick or not, so why not! Best wishes on your decisions 🙏

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Thank you so much for those comments - it’s continuously putting things off “ just in case” then they don’t happen and it’s been 2 years. I want to make the most of the years left and will make sensible backup plans to make sure my furry plans are well cared for in whatever way might be necessary if I should need more treatment (eg a dog walker or doggie day care)!! Seize the day. I like it 😊

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@mak70

Definitely get the puppies, if you have the energy to keep up with them. Be sure to make a plan in case something happens (cancer or otherwise) but you should not let the cancer control your life.

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You’ve put into words what I have been heading towards, thank you!

It’s the back up plans that are so important including training them (and me!) well so they are socialised etc so can go to doggie day care and I can easily rehome them (heaven forbid) if the worst came to the worst.

I came through massive treatment unbelievably well. My issues don’t affect my life so far. I can’t do the long runs I used to though, maybe one day, but I can walk far and wide. There are also huge parks within walking distance from my house, including off leash parks, so once they’re ready I can let them go crazy together!!

Thank you - I must stop letting cancer control and limit my life and make back up plans😊

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@celia16

I haven’t been in your situation, but you should do what you want. It sounds like you’ve given it a lot of thought and looked forward to it. I would travel before getting the puppies, though.

Two must be the key, because my brother, who is near your age got one Labradoodle just before Christmas last year and it has given him and his wife a workout! They love the dog, but he’s quite a handful. No rests on Saturday mornings or any morning really. The dog has enormous need for exuberant activities. They both run and he can outrun them easily. Very cute and loving, but extremely time consuming, even with professional trainers. They seem to enjoy being new parents, but admit it’s intense. Lol

Good luck with everything. I’d like a more subdued pet….. perhaps an older Maltipoo.

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So glad you touched on the 2 and thank you for sharing your brother’s experience! At times I’ve gotten cold feet that 2 might be biting off more than I can chew, especially as it’s just me. Then I’ve thought about the bonus of them being company for each other and also rough housing together and working off energy together.

I’ll definitely take them and me off to puppy school. The litter i have 1st dibs on, the mother is Labradoodle but the father is a small (not miniature) poodle. I’m hoping they’ll be smaller than the mother but it’s ok if they’re not. I’m very strong - at the moment. I just need to get past the toddler and teenage years (in dog years)!!

It’s all coming down to planning and going for it.

Thank you and thank you everyone who have helped me go ahead and become a doggy mommy. It will be a huge commitment but I’m up for it ❤️❤️

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@isadora2021

So glad you touched on the 2 and thank you for sharing your brother’s experience! At times I’ve gotten cold feet that 2 might be biting off more than I can chew, especially as it’s just me. Then I’ve thought about the bonus of them being company for each other and also rough housing together and working off energy together.

I’ll definitely take them and me off to puppy school. The litter i have 1st dibs on, the mother is Labradoodle but the father is a small (not miniature) poodle. I’m hoping they’ll be smaller than the mother but it’s ok if they’re not. I’m very strong - at the moment. I just need to get past the toddler and teenage years (in dog years)!!

It’s all coming down to planning and going for it.

Thank you and thank you everyone who have helped me go ahead and become a doggy mommy. It will be a huge commitment but I’m up for it ❤️❤️

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My brother had brother and sister labs from same litter years ago and they were great together. So, two seem to work well, imo.

But, they love this little guy too. He’s very cute.

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You could also get older dog(s) from a shelter though if you have allergies that is harder.

I realized I put off getting a long term residence after cancer. It's been almost 10 years and I am finally buying a condo! The effect of cancer has been on the back burner but quietly affecting my decisions.

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@isadora2021

Thank you so much for those comments - it’s continuously putting things off “ just in case” then they don’t happen and it’s been 2 years. I want to make the most of the years left and will make sensible backup plans to make sure my furry plans are well cared for in whatever way might be necessary if I should need more treatment (eg a dog walker or doggie day care)!! Seize the day. I like it 😊

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The putting off of stuff that we love is a spirit killer. Go for it!

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@isadora2021 I quite agree that putting off plans while you wait and see what happens with your health just goes on and on. I've been doing the same since I was diagnosed with endometrial cancer in 2019 and then a recurrence in 2021. I finally decided in late 2022 that this was not a way to live. So I make plans for travel and make sure there is a way to cancel without huge penalty in cost.

I'm 72 years old and the last few dogs we have had were senior dogs. We had these dogs for a few years but they were glorious years. I'm itching to get another dog but have been stalling because then the travel I'd like to do will be harder to plan. So I will foster which gives the dogs a nice break from the kennel. I learned from the local animal shelter staff that when people foster we can see the "real" behavior in dogs (or cats) that isn't observed in the shelter and this greatly helped the shelter in the adoption process. I should add that we have been "foster failures" for the senior dogs we adopted.

It sounds like you have this worked out. I would suggest that you have a back-up plan with family or friends should something happen that you can no longer care for the dogs. But it sounds like you've got that sorted also.

Depending on the state (if you are in the U.S.) you can create a trust for your companion animals. In Michigan where I live I have named individuals to care for my companion animals, have stated that the animals cannot go to a shelter, and have left funds to the individual to care for my animals. This gives me great peace of mind.

When will the puppies come to you? And where would you like to travel?

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