Am I manic?

@meryw Welcome to Mayo Clinic Connect. It is difficult to hear when someone you care about makes a comment that is upsetting to you. You mention bipolar; is that a condition you have been professionally diagnosed with? If so, are you working with a medical professional and taking any medication?

Perhaps her choice of wording could be different. Instead of just saying something is nuts, could she have said the behavior is nuts? Would that have had less of an impact from the beginning? If so, speaking to her and asking she give you a full idea of what she is reacting to may lessen the impact. It seems to me that oftentimes, people may not fully understand the impact of their words. The tone of voice, choice, place they are spoken, even their body language as they speak, are things we key in on. Is calling you/your behavior manic a new thing with her?
Ginger

For anyone with a mental health disorder, the word "nuts" is surely a trigger. People may use that informally ("that sounds nuts") but in the context of a relationship I don't blame you at all for reacting. Other words like "crazy' or "sick" should also be avoided.

Perhaps this was a slip up on the part of your partner.

One of my kids has bipolar 1 and I would be very careful to avoid the word "nuts"! I might ask if something is the wisest!

Thank you so much for your kind reply. It helps so much when people understand!

I have been professionally diagnosed with Bipolar for over 30 years. I have been fairly stable for the last 20 years but recently began experiencing symptoms again. I’ve been on many medications but seemed to have found a good combination for a long time now. She did clarify that she meant my behavior and not me but honestly, that didn’t really take the sting out of it. I have been open to her observations about my behavior for many years as she is a retired family Nurse Practitioner and knows her stuff. But that language just isn’t helpful and she uses it when she disagrees with me no matter what the circumstances are.

Yes, IMHO you may be a bit touchy about being called nuts.

I was diagnosed (wrongly, IMHO) with Type II bipolar depression in 2009. Last year (2023), I finally ditched the evil antipsychotic drugs that turned me from a hyperactive "nut" into a paranoid recluse.

My wife says, "You're back to being your good old, nutty self!", to which I take no offense.

"Nuts to me!", I say.

A little update:
I spoke briefly to my psychiatrist this morning (he’ll try to call later and give me more time) but he said he would try me on a new medication as I had about 5 minutes yesterday when I was hearing voices. I was thinking about going out to the barn and hanging myself and I heard “Go Go!” then a couple minutes later I heard “Mery DON’T!” Not to worry, I think about it but I would never do it because I feel like it’s the ultimate F You to everyone who loves me, especially my 95 year old mother who still calls me her baby. (I’m the youngest of 6) I apologized to my partner for my unkind behavior (calling her viscous for calling me nuts) but she basically blew me off and said she wasn’t going to be responsible for my mental health anymore. She’s still mad at me. I don’t think she was ever “responsible” for my mental health. I valued her opinion if she thought I was manic or behaving in some way that was a danger to myself or others but I never made her responsible for me. I have plenty of doctors for that.

@meryw as you know this is out of the scope of this forum. My family member had voices at one time and Lithium entirely eliminated them. As you know there are many medication approaches including anti-psychotics.

I hope you are honest with the psychiatrist. It may help to have some hospital help to get the meds right. Voices and suicidal urges are serious. Hospital for 4-5 days has been really helpful for my family member at certain junctures.

This does not mean you are "nuts." You have a brain disorder that needs treatment. Let us know if your doctor helped you and that you are okay.

The doctor called back and helped me immensely. He doesn’t think I need to be hospitalized and has started me on a new medication. And no, I didn’t know that this was “out of the scope “ of this forum. I don’t even know what that means!

What is IMHO?

@meryw I didn't mean that you shouldn't post here. But we cannot suggest meds or anything so was glad your doctor was helpful. Good luck with the new medication. This kind of situation is stressful so please check in for support!