After her Stroke my mom does not want to eat pushes her food way.

Sue, when I had a stroke five years ago, I didn't want to eat anything for months.

When I did eat, I would often bite my upper lip so hard I'd draw blood. That didn't help.

I lost about 40 pounds over the first six months.

Slowly (over years), I regained an appetite, but I had really strange cravings. For example, for a while I couldn't get enough canned peaches in extra-light syrup! Seriously, I ate dozens of cans. Then I wanted salads and nothing else. And foods I had enjoyed, like Mexican, seemed nauseating.

Anyway, over the years, I'm sort-of back to normal. (Regained most of the weight, too, dammit!)

Traumatic brain injuries do weird things to you. I, and most other stroke patients I've talked to, were so terrified after the event that *everything* was out of whack for an extended period of time.

Give it time. You'll be okay, I bet.

I have a mixed basket of issues going on. So, my father-in-law had brain surgery at Keck hospital in Los Angeles on 03/29/24, during the surgery he had a stroke. His primary care unfortunately is with Kaiser. He's been home for approximately 2 weeks and is a diabetic on a puree diet due to swallowing issues. He went from being a vibrant 74 year old who ran everyday, rode his bicycle for 20+ miles and more....to being an adult with a bratty childlike behavior. He is currently in a diaper in a hospital bed at home. My husband and mother-in-law have to do everything from cleaning him up to checking his blood sugar, feeding him 0-2 tsps of food, and has to beg him to sip a little water....after a few sips, he is done. They also have to suction him, and brush his teeth. Sometimes he even fights them on taking his meds. He isn't talking, just a little whisper here and there. When they pack him up to take him to appointments, it's like packing an infant or toddler bag. His wheelchair is heavy and although he's never been overweight, he's heavy because he has no balance, but his right side has feeling but he cannot move the parts. The first 2 weeks my husband had to stay with his parents to get a routine in place to end the night. He recently has been able to come home because his dad has been sleeping through the night. It's so disheartening that he has not had any PT, OT or Speech since leaving rehab. He was at rehab for about 4 weeks. My husband has been buying gadgets to assist his dad with sometime of therapy. We don't know what we are doing. His mom is willing to pay out of pocket for whatever but everything as far as referrals are in limbo. There should not be any dead time!!! We treat the incarcerated better than retired and working law abiding citizens. I know, I worked in the system for years. (Venting) We are not the United States of America, we are just states in America. Some states do more and care more and in some states like Califonia it's the polar opposite. I don't know, we just need help....(tears flowing)!

@yvette08, I am so sorry to hear that your father-in-law has not had additional access to rehab therapy beyond the initial 4 weeks. It sounds like your father-in-law is equally frustrated being unable to move like he would like to and to having everything done for him. This may explain some of his behvior. It is a such a challenge and heart-wrenching for your mother-in-law and husband. They feel like they are flying blind with little knowledge or support. So hard for everyone.

I bringing @scottrl @pmorgigno @san72 @strokesurvivordynamo @pek59 @neverquit72450 and others into this discussion to share their experiences with rehab and access to services.

Yvette, I'm wondering if your brother--in-law has access to a social worker. They can be helpful in coordinating services and may have suggestions regarding further rehab programs as well as home care support for your mother-in-law.

Thank you for chiming in, I/we need all the support we can get. I will have to ask about the social worker, I know he had one when he was in a rehab facility. Their income is too high for free services but they aren't rich so their income is only going to go so far.

For my rehab, my wife called around to different therapists and found one who gave us about a 40% discount for cash. (I am not wealthy by any measure.)

I worked with them until Covid hit. Using a mask made it too difficult to breathe while exercising, and my therapist recommended I just work on my own. By then I was pretty well-established with exercises, so it's worked out okay.

From the start, I was told that the single biggest factor in my recovery was my own attitude. Without a strong desire to recover, all the therapy in the world would not have mattered. It takes immeasurable commitment and effort, every single day, to keep going.

Maybe right now your father-in-law is angry and in shock over his loss of ability. I hope he realizes that his recovery is up to him, and commits himself to making it happen.