1. < Caregivers

Prioritizing relationships

Posted by HomeAlone @msberen, Feb 12 9:01pm

Hello, I am a caregiver to my husband of 26 years. He sustained a TBI 7 years ago and now has Parkinson’s and FrontoTemporal Dementia. He requires 24/7 care. I have been his sole caregiver from day one because there is no one else to do it. I don’t have too many outside relationships because I just don’t have time. The way I see it is that if it interferes with me caring for my husband then it has to go. I’ve had to give up several relationships because they put too much of a demand on my time. Sometimes it felt like I had to choose between the person or my husband. Anyone else deal with this?

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terry1976 | @terry1976 | Jun 27 10:14am
In reply to @blcook1963 "Hello, I also am a caregiver my youngest brother has a TBI, seizures, among other things...." + (show)
@blcook1963

Hello, I also am a caregiver my youngest brother has a TBI, seizures, among other things. He lives with me and my husband the problem I have is my husband is abusive to my brother and tells me that I need to make a choice either him or my brother now my brother is living in the streets. I didn't throw him out and I have no say.

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I am not sure of your state laws regarding abuse of the disabled and elderly (often anyone over 55) but this is clearly abuse. Do you have legal guardianship/conservatorship of brother? You may need to explore that and a General and Medical POA if you've not done so. Social services at county or state level may be the resources you need to get him housed. Is he on SSDI?

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terry1976 | @terry1976 | Jun 27 10:17am
In reply to @nrdl2879 "My husband has stage 4 cancer. Has been getting chemo snd chemo pills for 2 years...." + (show)
@nrdl2879

My husband has stage 4 cancer. Has been getting chemo snd chemo pills for 2 years. I am stuck at home with him 24/7 and getting burned out. We also have a son with a TBI. He is married but his wife is terrible. Forged his name on bad checks. I just am overwhelmed

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Can your husband's physicians put palliative care in place? Is there respite care program in your vicinity for this situation? I am sorry for your troubles. I am unaware of how you can intervene on son's behalf without an attorney and the financial resources to intervene. You do need to get a break for your self so you can manage husband's care.

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nrdl2879 | @nrdl2879 | Jun 27 12:17pm
In reply to @terry1976 "Can your husband's physicians put palliative care in place? Is there respite care program in your..." + (show)
@terry1976

Can your husband's physicians put palliative care in place? Is there respite care program in your vicinity for this situation? I am sorry for your troubles. I am unaware of how you can intervene on son's behalf without an attorney and the financial resources to intervene. You do need to get a break for your self so you can manage husband's care.

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My husband has a Pet scan in August to see if chemo pills are working. If not, then palative care. My son’s brain injury prevents him from realizing how bad this is and it is impossible to get his wife to tell the truth and work with us. She has our son totally brainwashed.

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