Achieving Orgasm after Radical Prostatectomy

@turtbean
Yeah, that sounds like me, though the orgasm is yet to come but I can see what you mean by whole body experience because it tingles in the whole body. I wonder if this is who women experience orgasms.

@hafermehl
Lol, I see optimistic just said the same thing.

9 months post prostatectomy here. Yeah my experience echoes what others have said here. It all takes longer: the erections aren't as quick or as hard as before, and the mental part is much more important to getting there. Can still be pretty mind blowing, however. I'm glad it's still an experience I can have.

I’m 1 year post nerve-sparing RALP. I agree with others - achieving orgasm with everything that has happened down there is very psychosomatic. It takes a bit longer, but I too experience more intense orgasms than before surgery. I attribute it to a number of things: reduced stress after retirement, a shift in my fixed mindset that ejaculation is the goal, frequent yoga and and mindfulness activities, daily cardio activity and a wife who has enthusiastically embraced our “new normal”.

Give it time, keep practicing (alone or with your partner), and let go of everything you learned in your younger years about intimacy and emotional connection.

I had 30 rounds of radiation starting in mid-July, 2025 and, after I rang the bell, my radiation oncologist apologized and explained that he had to “burn the nerves” so I would never have an erection again without “help”.
“Here, let me write a script for Viagra,” he offered.
I never filled it because, with manual stimulation, I could, in fact, get hard…and I still can.
The problem is that my erection often doesn’t last long enough to achieve an orgasm during penetration so my partner resorted to manual stimulation to reach it. I would then stimulate her orally which I know she dislikes - she would never ask for it when I was healthy.
Unfortunately, that type of sex isn’t good enough for her. She has been married twice before and both husbands were able to bring her to orgasm during intercourse, something I couldn’t do, even after a couple sessions with a sex therapist. Ergo, she disliked having sex with me when I was healthy and now… it’s been six weeks since she conceded to having sex and she wants to avoid the “chore” from this point forward. At 68, I still have the desire even if my performance is less than stellar and yes, I am physically capable of reaching an orgasm.
We tried couples therapy but she simply isn’t interested in being physical with me…and may never have been.

@madisonman0326 I’m going thru the same issues and like your wife mine doesn’t like me to give her oral stimulation which would help me mentally. We had sex 2-3 times a week before my surgery but now she admits once a week would have been fine . I e had no luck after 2 yrs now and knowing at 69 she is ok with that and has no interest in sex anymore, not an easy thing for men to accept, I’ve become very negative, we gave up our quality of life when we decided to have treatment, I regret it .

@graybeard46
I’m sorry to hear that. As an athlete, I workout every weekday and watch my weight and I know there are women in my social circle who are interested in me if my relationship with my partner should falter. We split for two weeks back in May over the sex issue and, within days, there was another woman making summer plans for the two of us but it was too much, too soon and I reconciled with my partner of a dozen years. However, if things remain as they are, I do see a path forward.

@madisonman0326 Madison, thanks for your reply , I’ve been married 43 yrs , if I were younger, I would look for a new partner despite the fact that I probably will never have sex again. Articles have been written and ChatGPT and I have discussed in detail most women don’t understand it’s not just sex that we miss it’s the bonding and closeness that we miss and not feeling like the man I was . I’m 80 but can keep up with men 10yrs younger physically. Before cancer making love made me feel younger and meant so much to me . We hug and kiss occasionally but now with a new dog , the dog gets the hugs and kisses. If I change my Italian last name maybe when I die I’m hoping 20 Virgins will be waiting for me . At least I have a little humor left in me, be well.

@graybeard46 You only need one!

Lol