Acceptance: Anyone have difficulty accepting new limitations daily?

Posted by keeptrying @keeptrying, Dec 24, 2017

Does anyone have difficulty accepting new limitations daily? Is it helpful or a bit of denial to keep photos out of yourself riding, dancing, all of which are just fantasies at this point? Thank you.

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Just for myself, I don’t follow the forget the past and don’t think about the future. Just live in the moment. I have experienced positive, negative, neutral and traumatic things. My in the moment might fit into any of those categories, as well. Who knows what’s in the future?

The person I am today has been shaped by everything in my past, for better or for worse. I can’t deny it or pretend it never happened. That would be lying. I have to be truthful about the past. Many of us have been through some tough times which may have broken us. Reassembly takes time and probably isn’t easy. At some point, we rejoin life, and if we’ve learned anything, we may change course to move toward a place of health. We might, as some have suggested, make intentional decisions to treat others differently than we were. I have learned to see myself differently than I did for decades. I’ve learned that much of my guilt was undeserved, and that I didn’t deserve to be treated the way I was.

Acceptance of the person I am and that I will be that person for the rest of my life has been a big step for me. Actually, it’s been a long staircase. I find that when I’m depressed, I sometimes find myself down a few steps, standing on a landing. I don’t like being there, but usually after a few sessions with the therapist I’m able to get back up to my new normal. I was waaay down this time last year, totally ready to call it quits.

Self acceptance and acceptance of what has brought me to where I am now, have been great contributors to my recovery over the past twelve years. I wish that life had been different, but what’s done is done. Moving forward, everything I do will shape both my present, as well as my future. That’s why I think that the future needs to be considered, because it will be affected by what I do today. So, not only does the past shape my present, the future does, too.

I should get out from behind the pulpit and rejoin my family. We finished opening presents and now are anticipating dinner. All the more so because my wife is cooking a pot roast at the request of our son-in-law, and the house is filling with the aroma. Our daughter has made pumpkin, pecan and lemon meringue pies. I am so going to have to lose weight when they go back home to Alameda. I know that body image is part of self acceptance, but I feel better about myself when I’m at the weight I was for most of my adult life. I put on an extra 40+ pounds a few years ago, and in the first half of 2015, I managed to lose 60, which put me back to the size I was from age 20 to age 55. I’m determined not to get back to the size I had become. For one thing, I got rid of all of the larger size clothes. I guess that made it a pretty firm commitment.

I hope you are having a good Christmas holiday.

Jim

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@jimhd I like when you reflect. Hope your Christmas was a peaceful one. I spent the day playing with my colored pencils as it is more of a mindless type thing. The gentle motion is soothing. Blessings.

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Dear Keeptrying, I do have photos of a younger me, and sometimes I can’t believe them…but about two weeks ago, I showed them to someone who has only known me for 2 years. I said this is Vanity, look what I looked like then? He did not even recognize me? It’s all part of us, and who says we can’t
do these things again? No one, and if they do, don’t hang around with them..we do not need to hear this kind of stuff. Does it do you any good?
No body knows everything? And, we’ll see. We know best. Be open to getting better and SHOCK them all, ha, ha, ha!

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@parus

@jimhd I like when you reflect. Hope your Christmas was a peaceful one. I spent the day playing with my colored pencils as it is more of a mindless type thing. The gentle motion is soothing. Blessings.

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Thank you, @parus

I spent the day eating, cleaning the kitchen, opening presents and knitting. I get into trouble if I knit this particular pattern mindlessly. I’ve had to back up several times for one reason or another. Right now, I’m knitting myself a vest. The back was all rib stitch, so it was pretty mindless. The front is more complicated and requires that I pay attention. We’re enjoying having our daughter and family here for a week. Especially glad to see our 9 month old granddaughter.

Jim

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@keeptrying

I have had to accept more and more things over the past ten years. I’m the kind of person who wants to know as much as possible about my health, so I’m delighted to have all of the resources of Google. I find that education is freeing. I learn what might happen given the health issues I have, and am grateful that most of the possible difficulties are still in the future. I like to understand what’s going on in my body and mind. Being in this group has made me appreciate the good health I still have, and it’s made me aware of how insignificant my problems are, compared with others’.

I do miss hiking and doing the malls. When I walk very much, I pay for it. But I’m still able to do the yard work, with the blessing of my riding lawnmower. I have a lot of ground that’s landscaped, and takes a lot of my time in the spring and summer. I’m trying to work toward lower maintenance.

I guess I just do what I can, and know that the work will still be there tomorrow.

Jim

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@AgentDarien

Dear Keeptrying, I do have photos of a younger me, and sometimes I can’t believe them…but about two weeks ago, I showed them to someone who has only known me for 2 years. I said this is Vanity, look what I looked like then? He did not even recognize me? It’s all part of us, and who says we can’t
do these things again? No one, and if they do, don’t hang around with them..we do not need to hear this kind of stuff. Does it do you any good?
No body knows everything? And, we’ll see. We know best. Be open to getting better and SHOCK them all, ha, ha, ha!

Jump to this post

@AgentDarien @keeptrying @parus et al

I listened to a recording I made 35 years ago, and was really impressed with how well I played the piano back then. Unfortunately, I hate to practice as much as most of my students have, but I still play well enough to bring others pleasure. I enjoy playing for the annual Christmas Eve service at our church. We have a nice older Steinway grand piano which is a joy to play.

Jim

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@jimhd Playing the piano is like other things. We lose our edge. I refuse to admit age/pain have a thing to do with our ineptitude waning. Those older Steinways even need tuning once in a while. Knit? Narian as I ended up in knots. I can say the artwork I do now has more of a depth to it. If I do not keep doing it I lose it-in many ways. 🙂

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I have arthritic hips and bursitis, which often makes walking painful. Still, I think it’s important to keep moving and set goals. As part of my self-care I write articles and books, which I love to do. Writing keeps my mind active. I am also my disabled husband’s primary caregiver, a 24/7 job. Being his caregiver makes me focus on him, rather than myself. Equally important, I feel needed.

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My motto is never accept anything you do not choose to accept. Find some related activity or subject that will replace what you can’t (or are forbidden to) do. If you can’t dance, you can probably teach dancing. There is every reason to keep fighting. For me, passive acceptance comes too close to defeat.

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Thank you. I agree, my basic belief if that what you
Accept, you cannot change. Alternative ideas are wonderful. Great point!!!

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