Acceptance

Posted by keeptrying @keeptrying, Dec 24, 2017

Does anyone have difficulty accepting new limitations daily? Is it helpful or a bit of denial to keep photos out of yourself riding, dancing, all of which are just fantasies at this point? Thank you.

@AgentDarien

Dear Keeptrying, I do have photos of a younger me, and sometimes I can’t believe them…but about two weeks ago, I showed them to someone who has only known me for 2 years. I said this is Vanity, look what I looked like then? He did not even recognize me? It’s all part of us, and who says we can’t
do these things again? No one, and if they do, don’t hang around with them..we do not need to hear this kind of stuff. Does it do you any good?
No body knows everything? And, we’ll see. We know best. Be open to getting better and SHOCK them all, ha, ha, ha!

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@AgentDarien @keeptrying @parus et al

I listened to a recording I made 35 years ago, and was really impressed with how well I played the piano back then. Unfortunately, I hate to practice as much as most of my students have, but I still play well enough to bring others pleasure. I enjoy playing for the annual Christmas Eve service at our church. We have a nice older Steinway grand piano which is a joy to play.

Jim

@jimhd Playing the piano is like other things. We lose our edge. I refuse to admit age/pain have a thing to do with our ineptitude waning. Those older Steinways even need tuning once in a while. Knit? Narian as I ended up in knots. I can say the artwork I do now has more of a depth to it. If I do not keep doing it I lose it-in many ways. 🙂

I have arthritic hips and bursitis, which often makes walking painful. Still, I think it’s important to keep moving and set goals. As part of my self-care I write articles and books, which I love to do. Writing keeps my mind active. I am also my disabled husband’s primary caregiver, a 24/7 job. Being his caregiver makes me focus on him, rather than myself. Equally important, I feel needed.

My motto is never accept anything you do not choose to accept. Find some related activity or subject that will replace what you can’t (or are forbidden to) do. If you can’t dance, you can probably teach dancing. There is every reason to keep fighting. For me, passive acceptance comes too close to defeat.

Thank you. I agree, my basic belief if that what you
Accept, you cannot change. Alternative ideas are wonderful. Great point!!!

When I read some of the comments it sounds to me more like denial. I work with my own attitude as to things that cannot be changed nor fixed. Attitude can make or break me.

@parus

When I read some of the comments it sounds to me more like denial. I work with my own attitude as to things that cannot be changed nor fixed. Attitude can make or break me.

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I don’t know if it’s so much denial as learning to respect our own limitations. Sometimes you can cause a lot of damage trying to do things that are no longer physically appropriate for you. That said, giving up completely isn’t the right answer either, so somewhere in the middle is the balance of keeping as active as you can without overdoing it so you feel worse.

@keeptrying, not sure what your limitations are but have you considered equine therapy if you like to ride? My cousin has MS and even when her condition was very severe (she was wheelchair bound in her 20’s), she was able to do equine therapy. She considers it a big part of why she is able to walk today. Also, just being around the horses was really helpful because it kept her spirits up. For some of us, a dose of “barn smell” is what we need to feel at home again.

Best wishes to all of you for a safe and healthy New Year.

@coloradogirl Good point!! Same to you with another New Year approaching. Barn smell is positively uplifting! Horses are healing. Former wrangler and equine artist.

Often, for me just being there is all I need. Many levels of need depending on each individual. That is one of the things I learned with my kids, same mom/dad but all differently by nature.
All good!

@clydecaldwell These words are so true!! Can say my youngest has my unique sense of humor…if one need explain it is not funny. He pops some that I are so far-fetched. Scary how I get it and others do not. What kind of things has DNA produced?

@parus

When I read some of the comments it sounds to me more like denial. I work with my own attitude as to things that cannot be changed nor fixed. Attitude can make or break me.

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A no-longer-possible physical activity can be replaced by an intellectual endeavor. Anything is better than nothing.

@clydecaldwell

Often, for me just being there is all I need. Many levels of need depending on each individual. That is one of the things I learned with my kids, same mom/dad but all differently by nature.
All good!

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In a sense, just being there is the ultimate mental activity. I come from a mindset in which I must he doing something.

@jshdma You betcha!!

@clydecaldwell

Often, for me just being there is all I need. Many levels of need depending on each individual. That is one of the things I learned with my kids, same mom/dad but all differently by nature.
All good!

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Underlying a lot of these problems is that limitations tend to isolate people from the non-limited population. Some kind of “new normal” invades and takes over your life. It’s crucial to remain in touch with the “normal” world. Think about soldiers missing limbs who try to re-enter the mainstream.

I agree and understand the isolation well. Yes, mixing with others is natural and to me, very important to stability.
Recently I spent a couple of weeks alone building cabinets. That went well for a few days but then was time to get up and out to see some of my guys f even just for coffee

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