A letter to myself after one year from treatment

Dear Denise,

It’s amazing how much can change in a year. One year ago, today I had just one more treatment left of Taxol and carboplatin. I was bald and angry. I wasn’t sure Mel and I would stay together. My daughter was unemployed. My dad was alive.

The biggest difference today is that I recovered from the poison that flowed through my body for 5 ½ months. I’m still pissed off but I’m not in a rage. Mel and I are getting along well. I think he decided to stop being such a self-absorbed person and we live comfortably beside each other. There are times we anger each other but the reason for that is because one of us is trying to change the other. That is a two-way street. When it happens to me I just ignore him. That makes him angry then he moves on. Mel is someone who will never change for someone else. But he is accepting my decisions to be who I want to be.

After 10 months of being unemployed Zoe is back to work. She has a great job. It’s challenging and close to her apartment. The best part is she can financially support herself again.

In April my Dad died. He is the first person in my immediate family to die. He lived a long wonderful life. I miss him but I’m not so sad that it hurts. It seems like I handled this well.

See Denise, you just had what it takes to deal with hard unwanted things and come throw thriving.

My expectation is I will not develop cancer again. I still have the tenacity to deal with hard things and come out swinging!

Denise