40 years of Treatments for Depression

Since 1980 - Tricyclics, MAO inhibitors, Anti-psychotics, Bi-polar meds, SSRIs and Benzos.
I have been on most all psychotropic known Medications since the early 1980s.
As for Benzos I was started on Valium and at Present and for the longest am on Chlorazepate / Tranxene. I have an extreme physical tolerance/ dependence. I just took 2 15mg tabs so I can maybe get some sleep. Up until 1 month ago I was on 3 15mg tabs a day. To get out of the house, I had to add a couple beer. After 40 + years on all kind of psychotropics, it takes a lot to knock me out or even lessen my anxiety.
Ketamine therapy has helped me nearly eliminate alcohol. My anxiety has been the bane of my existence for all of my life back as far as I have memory. Many complicating family dynamics I won't go into. Then the Major Depression took over and has held me captive until this year, 2022. I have been in such emotional pain for so long, & I had no relief but thinking I had to add alcohol to the mix. I'm thankful to be eliminating it. I hope it's not too late at 60 to recover some of my health. It is amazing to me that Ketamine has helped me get nearly off of all alcohol! Yep it's worth $600 a month for 3 doses a week and doctors who really Care! I cut it close with $$ to get by. Could not afford IV if it was on the next block. I'm still working to get a solid footing. Had a deep hole I fell into a week ago. Put me in paralyzing Depression. I was back to planning my Exit, but did not have the energy to get off the couch to off myself. I had forgotten 2 days of Zoloft. Apparently it does work in tandem with Ketamine.
Ketamine has been a miracle for me. I hope to share it with the world. I know the deepest depths of Depression. I've existed there since high school years. I really can't believe I am still alive. Since I am, you know I want to tell the world! Some folks may be helped since it has dramatically helped me!
I've also cut my Zoloft from 225 to 100. It is amazing to feel I want to live for the first time in my life. I just want to share what I have found. I had to be brave and desperately at end of the line... I definitely was. It is scary to take a psychedelic. Especially when living alone.
I am sure it doesn't work for everyone, but the fact I want to live after 43 ECT, months of inpatient treatments and over 20 suicide attempts... I have to speak up loudly and let everyone know there is a chance that it might help you also. I pray it will. I am a thankful soul.
Just wanted to expound upon my story tonight. Peace and healing, Jo