Feeling lonely and crying

Posted by rusty3104 @rusty3104, Mar 20, 2023

Why do I feel sad and lonely then cry?

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I'm very sorry you're going through this. I know it's one of life's worst experiences.

By comparison, many years ago I tore up a knee. It required surgery to repair, and about a year of therapy to get back to normal. I was in pain the whole time.

And that was still easier than healing a broken heart.

As a man, let me tell you -- this guy is not worth feeling bad over. He's a cheat and a liar. Why waste your emotion on someone like that? You deserve better. Struggle through the pain and find someone worthy of you.

There's a saying that "Living well is the best revenge." That may be true, but live well for the sake of living well. That's the reward, not revenge. It's normal to feel bad for a while, so give it some time, but don't let it take over your life.

Anyway, you deserve happiness, but you'll have to find it. Painful though it is right now, you have to work through this. You can, and you will.

I hope that helps at least a little.

REPLY
@pihu2024

Some days ago my bf cheated with me for another woman. I know what he did, but I love him so much that I can't leave him even knowing everything, he asked me for another chance, I gave it to him, but now he feels very guilty, so he wants time and can't be with me. I miss him a lot every moment, crying a lot and suffering from uncertainty, does he really love me, he told me that after a few months, if he is okay, he will come back to me . but I am suffering from insecurity and missing him a lot, I am in a trauma and crying all day, I don't know what he really wants. It's better to die than to love someone that's so deadly I can't even think what to do I don't understand anything.

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pihu2024 | @pihu2024

I went thru something similar many years ago, and it is very hard to deal with.
First, you deserve better. Do not let someone treat you with dis-respect.
Two books I read that helped put the relationship / breakup into perspective were:
- He's Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys
- It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken: The Smart Girl's Break-Up

Do you have someone you can talk to this about, friend or a professional? Maybe even reach out to a therapist or your Primary Care Provider. Your PCP can diagenesis depression and refer you to professionals if necessary.

There is a future without him, and if you get to point you do not think so, reach out to National Hotline For Mental Health Crises - "988"
https://988lifeline.org/
Laurie

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@pihu2024

Some days ago my bf cheated with me for another woman. I know what he did, but I love him so much that I can't leave him even knowing everything, he asked me for another chance, I gave it to him, but now he feels very guilty, so he wants time and can't be with me. I miss him a lot every moment, crying a lot and suffering from uncertainty, does he really love me, he told me that after a few months, if he is okay, he will come back to me . but I am suffering from insecurity and missing him a lot, I am in a trauma and crying all day, I don't know what he really wants. It's better to die than to love someone that's so deadly I can't even think what to do I don't understand anything.

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@pihu2024

It is not better to die. It is better to be with someone who values you for who you are. Others should not decide how you should feel about yourself.

Part of this is you need to value yourself. To be honest, I did not learn that lesson until late in my life. I must admit, it is my greatest regret.

Matters of the heart can be so difficult. I get the impression you are very giving person. It is hard for me to tell you what to do. It just seems your relationship is unhealthy. Consult friends or family for opinions if you need to...sometimes they see things in a way we miss.

I wish you the best in this difficult decision. I will be most anxious to see what comes next for you.

"Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the present." Master Oogway from the Movie Kung Fu Panda.

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@mikekennedy759

@pihu2024

It is not better to die. It is better to be with someone who values you for who you are. Others should not decide how you should feel about yourself.

Part of this is you need to value yourself. To be honest, I did not learn that lesson until late in my life. I must admit, it is my greatest regret.

Matters of the heart can be so difficult. I get the impression you are very giving person. It is hard for me to tell you what to do. It just seems your relationship is unhealthy. Consult friends or family for opinions if you need to...sometimes they see things in a way we miss.

I wish you the best in this difficult decision. I will be most anxious to see what comes next for you.

"Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the present." Master Oogway from the Movie Kung Fu Panda.

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Thank you so much 😊

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@mikekennedy759

@pihu2024

It is not better to die. It is better to be with someone who values you for who you are. Others should not decide how you should feel about yourself.

Part of this is you need to value yourself. To be honest, I did not learn that lesson until late in my life. I must admit, it is my greatest regret.

Matters of the heart can be so difficult. I get the impression you are very giving person. It is hard for me to tell you what to do. It just seems your relationship is unhealthy. Consult friends or family for opinions if you need to...sometimes they see things in a way we miss.

I wish you the best in this difficult decision. I will be most anxious to see what comes next for you.

"Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the present." Master Oogway from the Movie Kung Fu Panda.

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The fact is that I can't share it with my friends, family, I feel ashamed to say such things in the name of whom I love so much, I feel bad, so I have no power to say anything to anyone. How can I handle it all alone? I don't know, but sharing it with you made me feel lighter, maybe there is no solution for some things, but sharing it with someone can be a little lighter, I will pray that God will bless you.

REPLY
@pihu2024

Some days ago my bf cheated with me for another woman. I know what he did, but I love him so much that I can't leave him even knowing everything, he asked me for another chance, I gave it to him, but now he feels very guilty, so he wants time and can't be with me. I miss him a lot every moment, crying a lot and suffering from uncertainty, does he really love me, he told me that after a few months, if he is okay, he will come back to me . but I am suffering from insecurity and missing him a lot, I am in a trauma and crying all day, I don't know what he really wants. It's better to die than to love someone that's so deadly I can't even think what to do I don't understand anything.

Jump to this post

If he cheated on you once, he may cheat on you again. You deserve better than that. You are worth having someone who doesn't cheat on you. You will become a stronger person through this. You are strong enough to get through this. Believe in yourself. I believe you can get through this. Take one moment at a time.

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@pihu2024

The fact is that I can't share it with my friends, family, I feel ashamed to say such things in the name of whom I love so much, I feel bad, so I have no power to say anything to anyone. How can I handle it all alone? I don't know, but sharing it with you made me feel lighter, maybe there is no solution for some things, but sharing it with someone can be a little lighter, I will pray that God will bless you.

Jump to this post

I once shared my feelings about someone to a friend and my friend told me the woman was not right for me. There were too many differences but I always felt she and I could have been great together.

Truth be told, my friend was right (first time I have ever admitted it) and sure enough things fell apart. Made me never want to say anything again. But I now realize it was not my friend's fault, it was just life and I had someone who was being a true friend. We are still close friends to this day.

Sometimes saying it out loud, helps process your feelings.

REPLY
@pihu2024

Some days ago my bf cheated with me for another woman. I know what he did, but I love him so much that I can't leave him even knowing everything, he asked me for another chance, I gave it to him, but now he feels very guilty, so he wants time and can't be with me. I miss him a lot every moment, crying a lot and suffering from uncertainty, does he really love me, he told me that after a few months, if he is okay, he will come back to me . but I am suffering from insecurity and missing him a lot, I am in a trauma and crying all day, I don't know what he really wants. It's better to die than to love someone that's so deadly I can't even think what to do I don't understand anything.

Jump to this post

I would consider reading "The Road Less Travelled" by M. Scott Peck. I've been where you are before and I totally empathize. I came to a point in my life where I simply had enough of my insecurity and making the man in my life more important than me. It is not easy to disengage. But, I chose to work on myself, complete the goal I had been thinking about for a long time (achieving a masters degree). Take action. Focus on yourself. You deserve good people who bring you joy, not heartache. Know that.

REPLY
@pihu2024

Some days ago my bf cheated with me for another woman. I know what he did, but I love him so much that I can't leave him even knowing everything, he asked me for another chance, I gave it to him, but now he feels very guilty, so he wants time and can't be with me. I miss him a lot every moment, crying a lot and suffering from uncertainty, does he really love me, he told me that after a few months, if he is okay, he will come back to me . but I am suffering from insecurity and missing him a lot, I am in a trauma and crying all day, I don't know what he really wants. It's better to die than to love someone that's so deadly I can't even think what to do I don't understand anything.

Jump to this post

pihu2024 | @pihu2024
I just read a new post by @judyingenes , and though of your post. It talks about being valued. If your not feeling valued, your in wrong place.
https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/someone-needs-to-see-this/
Laurie

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I was in a relationship for 1 year 5 months after a year he cheated on me , and this I found out he lied to me too ,,, he wanted a chance I forgave him and gave him another chance but now he feels very guilty , He feels he is a bad person and suffering for what he has done wrong to me he says he doesn't need to live anymore he feels very guilty he thinks he doesn't deserve me or I deserve someone better than him he says distance me from him Should be maintained but I can't leave him because I love him so much and there is no way to convince him because his mistake was so horrible that it is killing me too. What should be done now?

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