Becoming completely too scared to live

Hello. High generalized anxiety and major clinical depression, diagnosed. Never lived alone all my life before 2019, now ending 2023.
Diagnosed asperger with I really think adhd. Monetarily stuck in bachelor's apartment suddenly having lost my masking (social skills, behaviours, reactions and cognition learned back in Grade School) since Chinese bat flu covid isolation living alone under a day and night roof banger all that time. The stress was unlivable, under caretaker's pet "who would never do such a thing." Guess I was thought a liar. At least two anxiety attacks a day for two years, until confinement was lifted and I was moved to another apartment or I would not have lived. Every noise the new upstairs makes freaks me out. Get extremely bad depression crashes and daily anxiety attacks at this increasingly overstressing life. Turned agoraphobic; can walk the area but go no farther. My only social thing is a Saturday group one couple there drives me there and back from most weekends. There, it is too bright, too loud, too busy so that my thinking and presence of mind gets lost to overload... they wonder why I now stay alone when before covid isolation living alone terrorized, I associated expertly masking as "normal." I cannot even go into the main floor common room in this apartment block anymore for being scared of anybody there, when I used to be able to. Everything about living is now scaring me senseless. I have recordings to hear to destress awhile. Yet I sleep okay as I have all my life, by wrote, though wake up now anytime between midnight and 4am. I go to bed at 8pm as I have all my life. Psychiatrists are now not available anymore, Psychologists cost too much for being on Disability allowance. Nobody in family left to even talk to. My fat iq does and did nothing for me for suspected adhd. Smarts as aspie do not tell one how to live in this confusing non-aspie society with now (without masking) completely confusing non-aspies. Never in my life have I had trouble associating. It was exhausting and limited but it got accomplished. Now it is simply another overwhelming life scare. For years now, fearing if this continues I may plain lose it one day. I can never talk to anyone but briefly and superficially, and too scared of their consequentialness, for two years now. The phone has become really a decoration since I no longer can sustain any kind of conversation. Because of covid terrorism stealing my social abilities, I am now just a lonely, raw aspie waiting to lose it completely.
Thank you 🧡 all.