Please allow me to {{{scream}}} and yes, I'm crying

I switched to a new PCP as a result of getting nowhere for past 3 yrs and extremely worsening with each and every month and now almost incapacitated and can't even drive. Like all of us, we need support! The new PCP basically new nothing, showed her some of my labs and she said it's out of her web of knowledge, but will order some add'l labs; here we go again. Labs came back showing low B-12 and ferritin (still within normal range but low normal) She sent me to a Hematologist/Oncologist. Had appt 2 weeks ago. He walked in the room talking a hundred miles an hour, said he looked at my chart, labs and that I had a ton of work done and seen numerous docs (of course I was referred because no docs can figure it out) wouldn't even look at me to discuss how I'm feeling, my symptoms, examine me. . . nada. Said you need B-12 injections and iron infusions. What? When I tried to ask questions, and share some of symptoms, etc he was already was walking out of the room. I tried to tell him my B-12, iron, ferritin were even lower, pre-covid and I felt great, but he wouldn't listen. Stood up and said, "my nurse will arrange for it." My brother came with me in the room and said he was shocked by his somewhat crazy "Kramer-like" demeanor.

Had my first B-12 injection, and of course no change whatsoever, actually worse.

So here's where I want to {{{SCREAM}}} after reading his after visit notes. I have no chance now of getting help anywhere as I am now branded for sure. To be honest since my last PCP said it's all just anxiety since day 1, I couldn't get anyone to listen or understand.

After visit notes: (in CAPS are my comments)
" She reports having long covid w pain wt loss fatigue palpitations for several yrs. REPORTS? IT WAS DOCUMENTED BY MAYO AND AN ENDO. She has seen various physicians but has not committed to seeing one physician as a PCP over time. NOt TRUE! I HAD MY LAST PCP FOR OVER 30 YRS, HE RETIRED AND HAVE BEEN WORKING WITH SAME PCP (who was terrible) SINCE BECOMING ILL FOR THE LAST 3 YRS! I DECIDED TO LEAVE HIS CARE BECAUSE HE DIDN'T CARE TO HELP WHATSOEVER.

I explained for my purposes (she also saw Heme-Onc at MCW which agreed w my following assessment), we can correct her iron and b12. I discussed AE's from IV iron including infusion reactions. NEVER DISCUSS REACTIONS. I'M PROBABLY ADDING FUEL TO MY ALRADY FIRE WITH LT COVID.

Of note GI here, Dr G suggested her issues are functional in nature. She told me he does not believe she is eating what she describes and indeed she has not documented it for him. He offered a full workup for absorption, also a PEG, but she declined his recommendation/offer for anything earlier this month. NOT TRUE! I DID AN ABSORBTION TEST AND DIDN'T SEE ANY SENSE IN REPEATING. ALSO, DAILY FOOD DIARY KEPT AS WELL AS DOCUMENTED WHEN I WAS IN THE HOSPITAL!

Clearly she has some issues w mental health documented, also her use of various doctors across multiple systems (NW, MCW, Advocate, Froedtert South, Ascension), suggests to some degree problems with reliability, insight, openness to ideas/options and/or secondary gain. WHAT? "mental health issue?*^%%$! YES, I HAVE ANXIETY, BUT WHO WOULDN'T AFTER SUFFERING 3 YRS AND GETTING NO HELP WHATSOEVER.

She declined further Gi eval.

I explained IV iron, causes (bleeding absorption issues), start iron b12 now, cbc/ferritin in 2-3 mo. See me then. I ASKED IF HE FEELS I HAVE LOW IRON DUE TO INTERNAL BLEEDING AND HE SAID NO.

I suggest return to tertiary care for various complaints but also suggested better longitudinal care w a PCP to coordinate. NEVER MENTIONED ANY SUCH THING, SINCE HE REALLY WOULDN'T TALK TO ME.

I give up and going into the basemen to scream and cry. I have nowhere to turn. This is why when I was down to 89 lbs and went to the hospital they wouldn't help and dismissed me next day. I'm branded. All I needed from day 1 was one good, kind and caring MD who would help and if he didn't have answers help me in finding them.

**update** Last few weeks my throat has been hurting when trying to swallow. Went to Urgent Care fearing Covid again, test was negative. Now I noticed a red spot on back of throat with a white/cream colored spot in center and neck feels tender. Last endo said I had lymph nodes. I called the Oncologist/Hematologist informing them because I want to make sure there is no conflict or danger in getting the iron infusion with this newly formed spot in back of throat and asked the nurse to talk to the doctor, and she said he wouldn't get involved in this and just come in for the infusion.

ALSO, my new labs show low Zinc - hello Covid and immune system, but not one Doc will listen or even cares. Even when I developed the chalazion below lower lash line, Derm said it's usually due to an immune disorder, I had to have 2 surgeries became it became infected, still there and gets ignored.

How I wish I lived in Madison to go to the ER or Mayo's ER. Down to 90 lbs scared, sick, alone, shaking and so confused.