Lonely and Just want to talk with virtual friends here

@ellamster The key to finding friends is to do things that interest you, and put yourself in places that could create opportunities to meet people casually who have similar interests. Friendship has to develop naturally, and it can't be forced. Just relax. If you talk about being really lonely to people you are trying to make friends with, it could make them feel pressure and turn away, so just enjoy the moment with no expectations. Not everyone will be compatible and have mutual interests. Some people have lives filled with their own interests and don't make room for others, and wouldn't be people that I would want to be a friend to. That being said, I always treat people with courtesy. Sometimes friends can drift apart and you never know why. Try holding a door open for someone and smiling and say hello.

Volunteering is a great way to meet people. Do you have pets? Volunteering at an animal shelter would help you meet people and you could interact and bond with animals which may help you feel a connection. Walking a dog in a park can be a real ice breaker for meeting people, and many people are pet lovers. Do you play a musical instrument? There are volunteer community bands giving free outdoor concerts in parks. Even going as an audience member and sitting on the lawn with a picnic dinner could put you in a good neutral place to make friends. You could join a club for outdoor activities like hiking or kayaking, a photography club, or biking, etc.

So the question is.... what do you like to do in your free time?

Hye will you like to be my friend

@tanishq I think one of the best things you can do where ever you live is volunteer for something you like to do. Pet shelters always need volunteers to walk dogs and play with cats to help socialize them, and you'll get a lot of love from the animals. You may even meet people who come to the shelter looking for a pet and when you help them, you may start building a friendship. If you play a musical instrument, you can join a community band. Look for social situations that you would enjoy participating in, and when you meet people there it expands your world. Social media doesn't give you a personal connection. You need to be in the presence of other people to be able to meet them. You have to go into it without expectations or asking for anything from others. Just be there and talk to people. Nature centers have guided hikes for bird watching, etc. Museums need volunteers. I used to give talks to school kids on field trips at a museum. It all comes down to finding something you like to do that can be shared. People need to like you for who you are, and if that doesn't work, you'll find others who may be a better match and share your interests.

Welcome, @jan62. I am glad you dropped right into a meaningful discussion. And you have been able to clarify your own experiences with loneliness. I notice that you separated alone and lonely. I also agree with you. They are very different feelings. I enjoy being alone in nature, listening to the birds sing and waiting for the chipmunks to appear in the morning from every corner of the yard. Sometimes being alone gives you a good chance to meditate a bit and have a heartfelt chat with yourself.

And then there are friends. I am a newcomer to this area and have somehow been able to find a couple of groups that fill my loneliness needs. I play Mahjongg every Wednesday usually with a different group of four every week. That time goes quickly. I also have long conversations with old friends every few months or so. My longest friend and I have been together since first grade and that is about 75 years. We still have lots to reminisce about, and memories to revisit. Our chats can last three hours.

My newest group is a sangha that includes about 10 ladies. We meditate on Zoom every Thursday evening and have been together for about 8 years. Recently we started a once-a-month "fun" evening face to face. That experience is quite different and some are more ready than others to give themselves this experience.

My mask has always been available for public appearances or as the manager or leader of a workgroup. My best work time was when I owned the business myself. It was an art gallery and I grew to know the artists quite well. They too thrive and produce when they have alone time and often find it difficult to be out and about with others.

You know, I don't think I can agree with the position that you are selfish if you take care of yourself. However, I will leave that alone this evening. Perhaps you can give me some examples.

I look forward to continuing this discussion. Where do we go next?

May you have happiness and the causes of happiness.
Chris