I totally get it, we may have different little parts and pieces of our disorders that are different, but the result is very similar. You're isolated, you don't feel good, pain is the worst kind of 'don't feel good', and I have found that most people for various reasons drop out of your life. It's not fun for them anymore even though you need them more than you ever have. I'm fortunate to have a couple friends of stuck with me, but I've lost more than I've kept. Hang in there, I know the depression we can get really really challenging. I do a lot of praying at that point. I know everybody here is always willing to listen. And they understand. Jennifer

@jenapower

Thanks, Jennifer, for your prayers. I do pray, and believe in the power of prayer, but sometimes when I'm the farthest down, I find it hard to pray with much fervor. When I was in the dark hole, I could pray short prayers, and found that I couldn't read at all. I don't remember how long that lasted, but it was quite awhile.

People don't like to, or don't know how to be around suffering people, whether it's chronic pain, cancer, dementia or depression. They're sometimes afraid of saying the wrong thing, or afraid of sitting in silence, or just listening or praying.

I really don't have any local friends, except when I'm at church. We drive 30 miles to the town where we attend church, and almost all of the people live in that town, so we don't connect except on Sunday. I have 3 men whom I consider to be friends, one in SC, one 150 miles away, and I can't think of who a third one might be. Hmm. Every time we move, friends get left behind. Ah, I remember the third one - he lives in Texas.

I love my wife dearly, but she became used up as my support and caregiver, and I try not to load her down with what I deal with in my head. I want her to be my wife. I unload on the therapist every Thursday.

So, I avoid complaining about the pain or depression or anxiety, and I don't bring up the subject of suicide.

Anyway, such is the life of a person with a mental illness.

Jim

Thank you Jennifer, I totally agree.

Jim, thanks so much for your response! I don't know what the cost of MM is vs. the painkillers a pain management specialist would put me on. I may not be able to afford the MM either!

I hope this note wasn't too chatty.

Thanks again,
Hazel

Hi Jim,
I don't think Prayers have a quality control on them, anything will be heard. I've felt the same way, but I still try. It's great that you can still attend church, I've had to stop attending because I'm in so much pain just getting ready wipes me out. I'm hoping someday soon they will figure things out so I can go back, my husband now goes alone and we watch the sermon on the internet. I really miss being there in person.

I guess I connect with the few friends I have, and family that aren't close, by phone and text. That seems to work well and they check on me that way. At least I know people are there.

Reading is hard for me also unless it's on my phone/internet. That's easy to hold and see.I try lots of movies/GoodTV to distract myself. Probably not the best but it works.

Good luck to you and all others on this list and in these situations.
Jennifer

@hazelblumberg Generally when you click on the @ sign and then put the member's name in it gives you a couple of options, but for some reason your name does not do that for me. There are a couple of others that do not too. Also, above the message it says whom it is from so you really do not need to identify yourself in your message, that is there.
JK

I'd never clicked on the @hazelblumberg before, so I just did so in your message. A profile page popped up! What a surprise! Thank you for telling me about this.

Hazel

@hazelblumberg, @contentandwell, and others, I have also noticed some names not automatically generating when using the @ sign. We will look in to this. As you may remember, Connect went through an overhaul and a newer platform was launched just a short while ago. Many new great features were added, but unfortunately as with any new update, some "bugs" exist and I suspect this is one of those quirks that needs to be addressed! We always appreciate members pointing them out because they are not always easy for us to notice, thank you!

@JustinMcClanshan: new poster virtuous69 here. What does the
@ symble mean in a post?
Also if a poster wants to privately repond to another, how is that done? I also joined the depression thread and met a very nice moderator with similar life problems be that I want to respond to, but not the whole world. Appreciate by yr reply to my question.

Hi @virtuous - the "@" symbol is used along with the Connect members username to identify a user. So Justin's Connect name is @JustinMcClanahan and mine is @johnbishop. If you want to send a Connect member a private message, click on his Connect name and it will show you their profile page. There is a Send Private Message button at the bottom of their profile.

John