What a depressed person expect from his girlfriend

They don’t hurt anyone others hurt them

What do you mean ?

In my experience they lash out , out of fear, pain , mental anguish, suffering ,,they are constant to reject care, love, compassion, they doing want to , they don't mean to.it happens. It gets so defence , isolation, is a coping mechanism.

At first i was isolating myself from people who i thought were causing my issues of being depressed then when i got on proxitine 2weeks later i didn’t feel that way i came back to the open

When a person goes out of his way and does good to others spends his time and money then those people he helped turn out to be just trash he gets hurt 😔 and turns sad and slowly turns to be depressed and it leads a person into depression in time

The saying damaged people damage people is so true

@tarinmo, I'm echoing the other commenter who took issue with your "remodel his place, take him on a cruise" post. This is nonsensical, and if my bluntness offends you, I apologize -- but you're causing harm by posting nonsense.

There's a difference between being blue / down in the dumps (because life is difficult, or because one is grieving a loss) and being depressed. Depression is deeply rooted, and IT WILL NOT RESPOND to superficial changes like that!

For your own sake, please read some articles on the Psychology Today website about depression vs. the blues (the PT website is free and is written for laypersons). And please either refrain from posting "solutions" that aren't solutions, or at the very least preface them by saying "This worked for me when I was down in the dumps; I don't know whether I was technically depressed."

Finally, if you plan to continue posting, then please use commas and periods, and please insert paragraph breaks -- please use the long-established conventions that help readers understand a long block of prose.

@nermo64: Unfortunately, only *he* can tell you what he expects from you -- and he's not doing that, because in his depression he is isolating himself.

Fwiw, when I've been depressed in the past, I've isolated myself, not reached out to my friends, and not responded to their emails (I'm older and I don't text). I was grateful that friends continued to check in with me; I periodically apologized to them; and I lost some friends because of my non-responsiveness, which I accept and don't blame them for.

If you have the energy to try to help your bf get what he needs, in terms of finding a therapist and taking meds (if he's not doing that), then try -- but keep in mind that none of this is your responsibility, nor is it something you can fix. (During my dark times, I almost always worked with my longtime talk therapist, and over the years I also tried various Rx antidepressants; my friends knew this, and they didn't feel responsible for trying to fix me or save me.)

I get a sense from your posts that you're very young (apologies if I'm wrong) and therefore you might not have dealt with something like this before. I can only repeat: None of this is yours to fix. You might choose to continue trying to support him with a brief daily text that says, more or less, "thinking of you even tho i haven't heard from you," or you might decide at some point that you can't continue if you don't get a response from him.

Whatever you do, don't ghost him. And, you're allowed to tell him that it would help if he would check in with you more often, tho you understand that he might feel unable to do that.

This is a difficult and sad situation; I wish both of you well.

Whatever happens, don't get dragged down by him. One depressed person in a relationship is enough.

Hopefully your boyfriend isn't like this, but I've seen depressed people use their condition as a lever to manipulate others. (I'm happily married now, but I was a bachelor for a long time and had some awful experiences.)

Pay close attention to one thing -- is he doing anything to help himself? Or is he waiting for you to do it? Because as jk77 points out, you can't do that. (And you shouldn't have to.)

A good first step might be to get him to *do* something -- get out and go for a walk, accomplish some minor task, whatever.

And for your own self-protection, set a limit on how much you'll put up with.

When ever I go to the old part of the city I get depressed and when I am at the new part of the city where everything is nise and clean I don’t feel depressed dark colored stains and paints do the same to me whereas this was not the case for me before depression my wife made the changes for me at home and that helped me a lot along with 10 mg of proxitine my apologies to anyone I may have offended I was just sharing my experience on this journey