← Return to Help - I am the Wife of a Man that Needs a Hip Replacement and refuses

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@kartwk

I would like to add one more thing. Hubby has seen a very well respected, qualified surgeon who did give him shots in his hip until they seemed not to help much. He has recommended the replacement. This surgeon spends the time to answer questions, explain things, etc. and has a permanent office/practice.

It is Hubby's daughter who got him hooked up with this Pain Management Guy. This guy travels from hospital to hospital and has dozens of patients all lined up for shots. Nurse does all the work of getting him ready and Doc comes in, gives shot and leaves. I don't know where she finds these guys, but she always finds docs that don't have permanent offices, etc and are at the hospital for a while and then gone.

I brought that up with my primary care doc, he got a disapproving look on his face, especially when I told him about the "special cream" better than any prescription meds etc., and how he was "pushed" to an associate (of his) to try to sign him up for medical marijuana. My Doc's comment was that it does make you wonder what the motive is.

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Replies to "I would like to add one more thing. Hubby has seen a very well respected, qualified..."

Oh dear, it sounds like you are right to be concerned about the doctor she has found for him. And about the demands being placed on you.

He and his daughter don't have the right to force the entire burden of his care onto you, nor to be at his beck and call every minute. Buy him a "reacher" and put it by his recliner or on his walker so he can pick up after himself.

My first question is, what would he do if you just hired help to come in and clean without his "permission"?

And to settle the daughter issue, just tell him when you are going out, and that if he does not want to be alone, he can call his daughter or a friend to stay with him. Leave what he needs within reach and go. Probably not for a week (which is what you really need) but for a few hours. Then go.

Finally, have you visited our caregiver support group to connect with others going through the same issues as you? https://connect.mayoclinic.org/group/caregivers/

Sue